Dating for introverts: A guide

introvert

If you are an introvert, you may have a lot of dating ideas in your head – after all, your thoughts are usually the only thing keeping you company- but this doesn’t mean you’ll be acting on them any time soon. Especially not without a little push from us!

Introverts can find dating exceptionally more challenging than extroverts. Introverts don’t enjoy loud and crowded places and they often find small talk draining. For this reason, introverts should take some time to figure out what they are looking for in a partner before they start navigating the dating scene. This will require less time and give quicker results.

The thing is, it can be hard to get out of your comfort zone and approach someone who’s interested in the same things as you. But when you do find someone, you realise that it was all worth it!

It is also great if they have an intimate circle of friends that they can confide in when needed. These can watch and support them through their dating journey and up until they find the right partner to settle with.

In addition, it is true that introverts are always assumed to be anti-social, but in reality this doesn’t have to be the case. As an introvert, you may just prefer to have less social interactions or only have meaningful ones.

For example, just because an introvert doesn’t want to attend a party doesn’t mean they don’t want to find a date and have a romantic relationship. For introverts, finding love is just as important as it is for others but it is also just as hard.

Tips to be more comfortable with dating as an introvert:

First dates:

Dating can be hard for introverts especially when it comes to first dates. That’s why we have compiled a list of some of the best first date ideas for introverts.

1) Plan an activity together – It’s important that you find activities that are compatible with your personality and interests, but it doesn’t hurt to start with something easy like cooking together or watching a movie.

If you want to take this idea one step further, you can plan out the activity in advance by suggesting something before the date or scheduling it on your calendars for a specific time later in the week.

2) Hangout at their place – It might feel more comfortable to stay at your place because there are fewer social pressures but if your date is not an introvert too, this might not be ideal as they would want to go out and do different things together.

Plus, keep in mind that getting to know someone properly requires for you two to put yourselves out there in the world and explore different settings and different situations of life.

Dating rules for introverts:

1) Safe spaces: Introverts need safe spaces such as cafes or restaurants, where they can go and focus on their partner without being disturbed.

2) One-on-one dates: Introverts should avoid group dates since it will be difficult for them to socialize with other people. Instead, they should ask their partners to have one-on-one dates with them at a place of the latter’s choice.

3) Phone calls: For introverts who are hesitant about meeting up in person, phone calls may be a good way to ease into things. They can also help overcome shyness and it will make a difference from if you were not talking on the phone often or not talking at all.

4) Keep your first date brief. This means having a coffee or meal at a time that is convenient for both parties. It may not be the most exciting first date but it will allow you to get to know someone without wearing yourself out too quickly.

5) Get creative with your dating ideas! Try something new that will break the ice and give you something fun to talk about on your date. If you’re not sure what could work, try taking up an interest of theirs or suggesting something new together – the ideas are endless!

6) Be upfront about your preferences and about being more reserved and private. You don’t have to make yourself sound like an absolute loner or to have to justify your nature. All that is needed is to always clarify your preferences and explain that it is what you’re more comfortable with. Then if you choose to go out of your comfort zone once in a while for your date’s sake, they’ll probably appreciate it more knowing that it’s not your favourite thing to do.

7) -Join an online dating site like OkCupid or match.com and write in your profile about how you like getting to know someone over time, during which you get to know their personality and quirks before deciding whether they’re worth your time or not. If this is not appealing to you, then try joining a website that’s more focused on meeting people nearby (e.g., Tinder). 

Online dating sites present an opportunity for introverted singles who want to date without having to go out and face the dangers of rejection in person. These sites give people more control over their love lives.

8) One of the most significant obstacles introverts have to deal with when it comes to dating is how to initiate conversations. Here are some techniques that you can use for starting conversations:

  • Ask about their day
  • Ask about their interests, passions, and hobbies
  • Comment on what they are wearing or if they have something new
  • Compliment their hairstyle or clothes
  • Bring up a topic of interest you share with them

Bottom line:

It’s not always easy for introverts to get out of their comfort zones and date. Dating is a very common and complicated task, especially for reserved people. To succeed in dating, introverts need to be aware of the challenges they will face and work around them.

An introvert’s guide to romance can be summed up in one sentence: you need more than good conversation and good looks to be able to sustain a relationship with someone so reserved and you know it, so try to be less demanding and more open to taking risks, when possible .

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