How to spot (and avoid) a serial dater

serial dater

Dating someone is a huge decision. It’s one that you should take seriously, especially if you know it’s a long-term commitment. That’s why it matters a lot that you and the person you’re dating have the same values and goals. Sometimes if you’re unlucky you could end up dating a serial dater, who doesn’t plan on committing or to even take you seriously, regardless of whether you would’ve clarified or not that you’re ready for a relationship.

Serial dating is the act of dating different people, frequently and without any intention of forming a relationship. It can be done by individuals who are looking to find someone with whom they are compatible or those who want to date casually without commitment.

The main reasons for serial dating include; having too many romantic relationships, wanting to get away from a current relationship and having low self-esteem.

Why women don’t want to be with a serial dater:

Heterosexual women are worried about being with a serial dater as he may not be honest about seeing other people at the same time. This type of person will most of the time just be wasting their time and leading them on as they physically cannot end up committing to all 9 women they’re seeing, for instance. In the end, they will commit to one woman only and all other 8 will be left to their own tears and misery.

There’s nothing good about dating a serial dater as 8 times out of 9 you’ll be just wasting your youth, beauty, time and energy on someone who is having fun. If the serial dater is honest then you can recognise that he is one by asking on the first date about their intentions behind dating. If they say that they just want to have fun and not want to settle yet, then it is a big red flag and they’re probably already dating many people at a time if that’s their idea of having fun.

However, keep in mind a serial dater can also choose not to be honest and lie by saying that they want to find love and are ready to commit when they’re not. This is why this article will help you recognise one easily if all or most signs we list below apply to him.

Why men don’t want to be with a serial dater:

If a man was ready to commit and he’s genuinely ready for a long-term relationship, then chances are he will also be worried about meeting a serial dater that will waste his time.

We never thought that men can have similar fears but it was surprising to learn that someone was complaining about getting used by female serial daters. As funny as this sounds we received the story from one of our readers; John B. 34 years old, who’s a marketing assistant in a central London firm.

He was genuinely concerned about the possibility that women were using him for free food and only going on dates with him to take advantage of him in some way. He claims that women can also be serial daters and maybe more of them are, compared to men. He also said that their reason behind this, could be to get spoiled every time by someone new and to go to the best restaurants and places in town, most times for free.

He also clarified that being the gentleman that he is, he chooses to always pay for dates especially if he likes the girl and just in case he lost his chances with her by being being cheap or asking her to pay her share. He said that he doesn’t mind paying, especially if the date and talk was great and if he enjoyed the girl’s company. However, most girls end up ghosting him after the first date anyway and he never hears from them again.

Signs of a serial dater:

So if you are also worried about meeting one or a couple of them, or maybe more and getting used or wasting your time for nothing, here’s a list of signs to recognise a serial dater.

Serial daters can continue meeting you for up to 10 dates, but they will also be seeing and entertaining other people at the same time. They may be honest about it, but sometimes they are not, which is why the list below may help you find out by yourself if you’re dealing with one:

– They are hardly available for dates.

– They have no intention of developing a relationship.

– They don’t want you to talk about your feelings or expect them to.

– Unless you’re physically present with them, they’re hard to get a hold of.

– They never pick up a call straight away, they would rather call you back later.

– They grab any chance they get to go on their phone when with you.

– They have memories and things that they think happened with you, but in reality it was with another one of their dates

-They forget your name / mistake you for someone else

– They make excuses for not wanting to commit, like “it’s too soon” or “I don’t want to get my heart broken”

– They have a history of making up stories

-They recount their own dating experiences and funny occurrences by saying something like “it happened to a friend of mine”

The intentions of a serial dater:

Nowadays, the problem with the dating culture is that it’s hard for people to find someone with whom they want to spend their life. And also very difficult for those who think they found someone, because if they talk about wanting a relationship, or marriage, that someone might not be ready to make those commitments. Nonetheless, they will probably stay and enjoy the ride for as long as it doesn’t get too serious. This way they’ll be wasting your time and sometimes years of your life, ruthlessly.

This brings us to the serial dater, like explained above, that’s someone who picks up and leaves when things start getting serious and complicated. Serial daters have been around since the beginning of human history, but they have only recently become a prevalent issue in society thanks to dating apps and how easy it became to find new love interests or potential victims.

If you think you may be a serial dater yourself or would enjoy doing something like this, then click here check out this article to find out whether you’re polyamorous.

Bottom line:

Serial dating is a way of life for many people. Some people find it to be more comfortable and easier to date and take the time to get to know someone intimately, before quickly moving on when they start to feel that the other person is becoming demanding.

Although serial dating is often thought of as a casual activity, there have been many studies that suggest that serial daters are actually more likely to end up in long-term relationships, due to their experience with the process and how they may know exactly what they’re looking for after having had so many experiences.

Serial daters are known for being in love with the infatuation stage of a relationship and wanting to experience that honeymoon period, before quickly jumping to the best next thing as soon as it ends. They can be addicted to lust and to that first attraction they feel when they meet someone new.

Unfortunately, it is not a good idea to fall in love with someone like this because they will never be content with only one person regardless of how much that person does for them.

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