Love is a powerful emotion that’s present in most relationships. It makes us feel things like compassion, passion, excitement, and happiness.
Hate can be just as powerful and make us feel anger, resentment and frustration. Experts say that ignoring or suppressing these feelings can lead to severe problems in the relationship.
The truth is, love and hate are very close to each other. Sometimes when you are angry with your partner, you may find yourself saying things that you don’t mean. That happens especially because you care a lot about your partner and their opinion.
People may not get so worked up and angry, if the person they’re arguing with was a total stranger or a crazy person. That’s because we wouldn’t care much about what that person thinks anyway. But, when it comes to our love interest; our feelings are on the line and anything they say may cause an emotional breakdown.
Anger comes from being hurt or frustrated and these feelings can be expressed in an appropriate way, as well as through spiteful words and actions that will affect your relationship and love.
Here are 4 ways that can make love turn into hate:
Letting resentment grow:
To avoid resentment from growing too strong, try to maintain an open dialogue about your feelings and what is going on for you. Be mindful of how often you are talking about the issues that cause resentment. Make sure to express gratitude for what your partner does well.
Resentment leads us down a path of shame and blame that can get us into trouble with others or even ourselves. It’s important not only for our happiness but also for our safety that we let go of resentment so that we can stay happy and healthy together as a couple.
If you have been left unapologetically hurt by your partner, it is important not to let go of any resentment that has built up. As painful as it may be, steps should be taken to move forward with your relationship rather than leave it stagnant and painful.
The best way to overcome resentment is by communicating with your partner and truly listening to what they are saying. Arguments and problems that are left unsolved or that are ignored can lead to resentment too. This is why communication is important for every and any relationship to grow, and that takes us to the next point:
Not solving problems, but ignoring them:
When we are in a relationship, there are times when we feel that our significant other is not listening to us or they are ignoring the problems that we want to discuss. It can be hard to find the right balance between giving them space and forcing them to listen.
Sometimes it’s easier to focus on what is going well and ignore the problems of a relationship. However, ignoring problems will only lead you down a rabbit hole of negativity. In order for your relationship with your significant other to grow and flourish, you have to talk about those issues head-on.
The most common problem couples encounter is when they ignore each other’s feelings. They often find themselves in arguments because of this issue. It could also be the case that one person feels as though their partner does not love them enough or does not care about them like they should.
While you might think that ignoring problems in your relationship is the best way to keep it afloat, the truth is that it will only cause a lot of stress and drama.
Undermining your partner:
Undermining is a passive-aggressive behaviour where one partner not only does not appreciate the other, but makes them feel worthless and small. We learn how to not undermine from our parents in childhood, so it’s important for us to recognise that we might be doing this with our significant other too.
Unappreciative partners often think that they are entitled to tell their partner what they want and expect them to do whatever it is that they want. When one person does this, it can be an indirect way of oppressing the other without asking what they want for themselves or about their opinion before demanding that they do something.
An unappreciative partner can be defined as one who is not appreciative of the emotional and physical efforts that his or her partner put in the relationship or in taking care of their health and looks or even in excelling in their career.
If your partner is making efforts on one or all of these levels and not getting the results they want, then try to be supportive as they may already feel bad about it and frustrated. And, more importantly try not to nag them or push them harder by being ungrateful as this can imply that you will never be content or happy with them, since you cannot appreciate their maximum level of efforts and hard work.
A common example of this is when a woman avoids her husband because she feels overworked and unappreciated in the relationship, but her husband still claims that she barely does anything at all. Some other examples include an overweight spouse that makes extreme efforts to lose weight but is still made fun of by his or her partner. It could also be a woman that expects more from her spouse, who is already doing the most they can.
Refusing to adapt to change:
Relationships are hard and they require a lot of work to maintain. The partners are required to adapt to each other’s needs and preferences. When one partner is reluctant to change, it can cause many issues in the relationship that can easily lead to divorce.
It is important to take a moment and remember what made you fall in love with your partner to make sure that you’re not mistaking a temporary lapse of judgment as a permanent change.
There are many reasons why people decide to get married or stay married. With changing social norms, people are no longer agreeing on the traditional standards of marriage. Couples are now taking their time to get to know each other before deciding whether they will try their luck in the institution of marriage. However, couples should be able to adapt to the fast changing pace of the world and not be affected by external factors.
They should have their own unchanging ideas, morals and values that they share and stick to regardless of how much the world changes around them.
However, when the change comes from within the couple and when one of them gets promoted or has to move cities for a better job opportunity, a strong couple will learn to adapt and make a collective and well-informed decision that will benefit their relationship.
A well-prepared couple that can face and adapt to any change that life throws to it, is one that can last forever!!
However, even if a couple is going through rough patches, there are things that people should keep in mind when thinking about ending the relationship. There are some signs that can help them recognize whether their relationship is worth fighting for or not.
It’s important for couples to remember that their feelings for their partner should grow as time goes on and not regress into resentment or hate.