Why “testing” your partner’s loyalty is a bad idea

partner's loyalty

As they say, “everybody has an angle”. And that is true in the world of relationships too. A person’s loyalty might not always be as genuine as it seems and some people may not be able to commit for the long-term. The best way to test this could be by asking your partner or date a few simple questions about their past relationships that have ended.

Other people may consider other ways like taking a compatibility test or quiz to see if they’re compatible with their partner.

However, other people may go the extra mile and decide to “test” their partner when things start getting serious. By “testing” we mean sending a friend to tempt him or creating a fake social media account under a different name and trying to flirt with him, etc. Similar acts where you set a trap and see if your partner falls into it, are toxic and never end in a good way.

The key to a successful relationship is understanding what makes your partner tick and being that person that is 100% and naturally the most compatible partner they could have. They should not be with you if they’re not content with you in the first place. And you should also understand this and accept that if you’re with you then it is not out of convenience or lack of a better choice.

Signs of your partner’s loyalty:

Sometimes you could look for signs that your partner is loyal and that they will be in every scenario of life. Without needing to go out of your way to “test” them and possibly ruin your relationship yourself. You could instead look for signs that they’d be loyal and that they truly love you and want you alone.

Some signs of loyalty include consistent actions that demonstrate a partner’s usefulness, reliability, and willingness to provide mutual benefit.

For example, in a long-term relationship, one sign of loyalty is if your partner always tries to make you happy and goes out of they way to make sure there’s a smile on your face. If your partner gets upset, uneasy and restless when you seem to be sad or when you complain about something not being the way you want it to be then you’re with the right person!

This should be enough to tell you whether or not your partner genuinely cares for you, love you a lot and would never cheat on you.

Why testing your partner’s loyalty can be toxic:

People sometimes like to test their partner’s loyalty to understand if they are worthy of them. This can be done when they have trust issues or they have been cheated on in the past.

Doing this type of thing will only leave the relationship in a worse place than where it was. Whether your partner falls in the trap and cheats or not it will leave you both trusting each other less and devastated by the consequences of pointless games like this.

In fact, even if your partner does not cheat, this will tell them that they deserve a reward for having passed your test and it may normalise cheating in their head. They may start thinking that the expected outcome was for them to cheat, in fact. So they may think that by not having done it, they’ve outdone themselves. When in reality not cheating should be the expected and normal thing to happen.

That’s why it may make cheating seem as not of much of a big deal in their head, after this experience. And it will all be because of a silly game that you decided to play.

Another thing worthy of thinking about before you try and test your partner’s loyalty is that they may cheat on you indeed, but only in that scenario of life. In other words, nothing guarantees that if your partner doesn’t cheat during your test of loyalty, then they’d never cheat on you ever in any scenario of life. The same way if they do cheat, it doesn’t really guarantee that they would’ve cheated on you in another real-life scenario.

So them failing or succeeding in your test doesn’t mean anything in the end. Like explained before, your partner may have never cheated on you in real-life or even online and they may never have intended to do so. But, because you decided to test them in that way maybe they’d fail and cheat but that could be something that would’ve happened only in that context.

In the end, you’ll prove nothing and you’ll end losing their loyalty, they trust and probably also their respect too in either way.

Bottom line:

In a relationship, love is the most important currency. Marriage is a long-term commitment, but sometimes it’s hard to know how much you should trust your partner.

Some couples test out their partner’s loyalty by keeping them on a tight leash and limiting their time spent away. Others establish very clear rules about cheating or emotional infidelity that they need to follow in order to stay together in the long run.

Either way, it is better to assume and think the best of your partner because the moment you start doubt them or wanting to test their loyalty with the help of third parties then you could consider that there’s no trust whatsoever. And at this point, the relationship is as good as dead.

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