He caught you emotionally cheating… now what ?

emotional affair

If your boyfriend caught you texting another guy and you were flirting, that can lead to a big problem. Let’s face it, texting is a big part of how we bond with others.

So, when you’re texting another guy as more than friends, it can be considered emotional cheating. Check out our article on how to reconcile after an extramarital affair ends.

Either way, if it wasn’t really an affair but just few texts with which you got caught redhanded or that you caught your partner sending then may want to read the rest of this article.

Would You have talked the same, if your partner was there ?

If you’re texting with a guy in a way you wouldn’t if your boyfriend was watching, that can be a sign of emotional cheating. If you wouldn’t do it in front of your boyfriend, you have to ask yourself why you did it in secret.

If he already caught you and he was hurt by the kind of conversation you were having with another guy, it’s important to be self-aware and understand what you’ve done. 

If the conversation was indeed inappropriate and you allowed it to continue, you are partly responsible and your boyfriend has the right to be upset. However, you can come back from this if you talk things through. But first, you need to be clear about how you feel. 

Does this other guy mean anything to you? Are you doubting your relationship with your boyfriend? If so, why? Do you want to break up?

The answers to these questions will allow you to determine what to do next. If you don’t want to break up with your boyfriend, you have to cut ties with the other guy and start rebuilding the broken trust. 

Is Your Relationship With the Other Guy Complicating Your Feelings?

It’s not uncommon to develop feelings for someone else, while you’re already in a relationship if you’ve found a connection. Even if it’s only texting! If you have feelings for the other guy, you are being emotionally unfaithful and that’s not fair for anyone involved. 

If you find that your feelings are getting very complicated and confusing, it’s time to take a step back. If you were forced to realize this because your partner caught you texting another guy, you have to be honest about where you want to go next. Do you want to commit to your relationship or do you want to take a break to think things through? Honesty is key here. 

If you’re not sure if your conversations with the other guy are inappropriate, there are a few things you can ask yourself. Do you complain about your partner or relationship with this other guy? Do you share things with him that you keep from your boyfriend? Do you feel like the other guy understands you better than your boyfriend?

If so, you are clearly investing time, energy, and feelings into someone who’s not your boyfriend, so you are crossing a line. 

How to save your relationship?

Every healthy relationship has boundaries, which are established from the beginning. If you’ve both been clear about the boundaries of relating to other people and you are crossing those limits, you are essentially disrespecting your relationship even if nothing physical has happened between you and this other guy. 

If your boyfriend caught you texting another guy and he saw that those boundaries were being crossed, it will take a lot of work to repair the broken trust. However, if you want to save your relationship, that’s exactly what you need to do. 

Express how sorry you are, how much you love him, and show him how committed you are to never make the same mistake again. If you are not inclined to do that, it means you don’t want to be in this relationship anymore and you must face that.  

Bottom line:

There are many things you can do if your boyfriend catches you texting another guy. You can make excuses, you can lie, you can convince him nothing is going on and you’re just friends, or you can say you’re sorry and prove how committed you are to him and your relationship by making amends. 

Emotional cheating can be as difficult as physical cheating, but there is a way to come back from it. If both you and your boyfriend are willing to make the effort to move past it, your relationship will be stronger than ever. 

Whatever happens, be honest with yourself and your partner, give them time to process what happened if they need and be willing to show them that they are important and they mean more to you than whoever it is you were talking to. Additionally, you have to commit to your boundaries. 

Having guy friends and good relationships with them is great, but there are limits and they exist for a reason. You must respect your partner and your relationship; if that’s too difficult for you, it might be time to accept that you don’t want to be with him anymore. 

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