It’s not uncommon for men to put their friends above their relationship, sometimes without even realising it. But what does that mean? Why does your boyfriend prefer to be with his friends? Well, there are many different reasons for that and today we want to explore them with you.
Feeling like your boyfriend prefers to spend more time with his friends than with you, can be heartbreaking. Understanding the reason why they do it doesn’t excuse that kind of behavior, but it does allow you to see where they’re coming from.
If the reason is innocent enough and there’s room for improvement from both ends of the relationship, it’s important to have a conversation about it and see how your boyfriend can strike a balance between his relationship with you and his relationship with his friends.
1- You Are His First Serious Girlfriend
If your boyfriend spends more time with his friends, it may have something to do with the fact that he’s either never been in a relationship before or you’re his first serious girlfriend. That means he hasn’t figured out the right balance just yet, which means he’s a bit immature.
He’s putting his friends before you because that’s the way it has always been and he doesn’t know better. If that’s the case, it may mean he’s not ready for a relationship. The best way to determine that is to talk to him about it. Explain how it makes you feel and see if he’s willing to make compromises and commit to being with you.
2- You Unintentionally Encouraged Him
If your boyfriend likes to spend more time with his friends, it’s important to ask yourself whether you’ve encouraged that kind of behavior without knowing it. For example, do you spend more time with your friends? Have you made comments about how much more important it is for you to be with your friends? Have you failed to make time for your boyfriend?
If so, then it’s not difficult to see why he would prefer to be with his friends a lot more. The good thing about realizing you’ve made a mistake is that you can talk about it and make amends. If you are indeed at fault without realizing it, talk to them to understand how they’ve been feeling and make an effort to prioritize your relationship.
3- Their Friends Are More Important
It’s true: Sometimes, the reason why your boyfriend spends more time with his friends is that they are more important to him than you are. He doesn’t want to abandon his friends or jeopardize the relationship he has with them. But is he willing to lose you? That’s an important question to ask.
If he doesn’t want to lose you or his friends, there are easy ways to bridge the gap and create balance. For one, you can all hang out together more often, commit to more date nights or alone time together throughout the week, etc. There’s room in our lives for everyone if we’re willing to make room. If he’s not willing to do that, then this may not be the right relationship for you.
4- You Don’t Like His Friends or They Don’t Like You
If his friends don’t like you or you don’t like them, it’s not difficult to see why he may not include you in his activities with them. However, there’s a difference between keeping you and your friends separate, and choosing them over you. So, if he’s spending much more time with them than with you, that could mean he’s chosen them.
That’s horrible to think about, but it could be the case. If so, then you need to talk to him about it. You shouldn’t be anyone’s second plate! You deserve better and if he’s not willing to prioritize his time with you equally, then it may be best to go your separate ways.
5- He Has More Fun With His Friends
If your boyfriend has more fun with his friends, it’s not surprising he prefers spending more time with them. This can be difficult to accept, but remember that we’re all different. For example, if you’re more a homebody and your boyfriend’s friends are as adventurous as he is, he will share more activities with them.
However, that’s not an excuse. Your boyfriend can easily spend as much time with you by making compromises and finding activities you can enjoy together. You can make the same compromises. If he’s not willing to make the same effort to spend more time together, then it could mean he’s not as committed to the relationship as you are.
Facing the reason why your boyfriend prefers spending more time with his friends than with you can be difficult, especially if it means this is not the relationship for you, but knowing that is a lot better than being with someone who doesn’t prioritize you.