How to stop being sad for outgrowing your partner

outgrowing boyfriend

We all experience different phases in our lives. Sometimes, we might feel like the person who was once the perfect match for us, isn’t well suited to our needs anymore. It can be hard to let go of those feelings, but it is important to know when something has become toxic or unhealthy for you. Even if it doesn’t feel as though you are growing apart from each other, sometimes the relationship is not fulfilling anymore and it is time to move on.

Some relationships end up having a very unhealthy dynamic that involves manipulation and abuse. If this is what your relationship entails, then it would be a good idea to end things as soon as possible. You should never have to feel bad about yourself for outgrowing a boyfriend or needing more from a partner than they are able to give you.

How do you know:

Sometimes you might think that you are outgrowing your boyfriend because it seems that the guy is not really into you anymore or he does not want to do anything with you. Maybe you’re the one who doesn’t!

This is an understandable concern, but there might be other reasons why it feels like you’re growing apart from them. Maybe you do not have the same ambitions anymore or do not work towards the same life goals. In this case, It will be hard for you to work towards your dreams and achieve them, when there’s nobody by your side supporting and understanding how important it is for you.

Check out our article about how to deal with an unsupportive partner, in case yours doesn’t understand or stand by you while you try to reach your dreams and goals. You cannot have a completely different outlook in life and stay with someone regardless and feel like you have to carry a dead weight on your shoulders and still win the race to your goals and dreams.

Signs of outgrowing your partner:

It is frustrating when you outgrow someone in life. You want to feel like you’re moving on and they’re still there for you, but they seem to be holding onto the past and it’s causing a lot of stress in your relationship. But the truth is that it’s not about you. They may be intimidated by change and afraid of losing the relationship they’ve been in for so long, or they might just not be ready to move on yet. 

For these reasons the question of whether it is time to break up with your partner is a tough one and will always be difficult, especially in a very long relationship that you outgrew due to time having passed. You have been dating for a long while probably and you have been feeling less and less love towards him as days or even years go by. 

As we grow older and mature up, our idea of what we want in a partner may change a lot and they may just not be able to meet all your need and expectations anymore. This is especially the case if you started dating at a lot younger age when many things that matter to you now, didn’t even cross your mind at the time.

How to break up with a partner that you outgrew:

As much as you don’t want to hurt the person, as hard as it may be, it’s time to break up with them. You can’t live a life that you don’t really want, just not to hurt the person that is with you. You’re outgrowing your boyfriend and that’s perfectly okay. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that he’s not a good guy – it means that this relationship is not going in the direction both of you want or need it to go in anymore.

That’s why it’s best to do it as kindly and amicably as humanly possible, keep in mind your partner did nothing wrong and has been in the relationship for a long time that they wouldn’t even have seen this coming. Be gentle, compassionate and kind when trying to break the news to them and do not put any blames on them whatsoever. If they love you a lot they will be willing to change and try to match your level of growth and understand your needs or even set up a plan to achieve them sooner but if they don’t understand then it’s okay. 

Either way, your partner will have to end up letting you go if they cannot give you what you desire, because nobody want to be in a relationship where they feel they’re holding someone back or not compatible with them anymore. Be sure that this is truly what you want before you bring up the topic with them, as it may be hard to make them forget about it and continue together once it’s out there.

Bottom line:

Only you can determine if you are outgrowing your boyfriend. If he does not have the qualities that you want in a partner, it may be time for you to move on.

For instance, if he is no longer interested in your needs and wants to spend time with his friends instead of hanging out with you, this is a sign that he does not value what is important to you anymore. If he cannot provide for himself or his family, it may be time for him to find stable employment- this will not only improve his own life but yours as well.

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