Manipulation is a problem that happens when people try to get something from others without their full consent, through a twisting of the truth or using their social skills in a negative way.
We all have been manipulated by people in our day-to-day lives. It is one of the most uncomfortable emotions. The manipulation can be subtle or overt, and it can be done through words, tone, body language and/or non-verbal cues.
What defines a manipulative person ?
A manipulator is someone who tries to make you do something that you don’t initially want to do or that you’d rather not do. They might even convince you that their idea is the best solution to a problem. A manipulative person knows how to convince people and they may show off their social skills in many ways.
A manipulative person is not always so obvious. We could have them on our side, without even realising it. They may seem like an ordinary person but, they will use their skills in a sneaky way to get what they want.
A person who is good at manipulating others will have an easier time succeeding in life and playing with others like one would play with pawns in a chess games, to benefit themselves. They would easily find people to do what they want, without even realising it.
6 ways to deal with a manipulative person:
Manipulation is a very common problem which can occur in any type of relationships. Anyone has the right to be treated with respect and honesty, without concealing any part of the truth. All of us also deserve to be treated with honesty and given the chance to decide for ourselves, without being forced to sway one way or the other.
For these reasons we prepared 6 ways for you to recognise and stop a manipulative person from influencing you:
1- See through their mind games:
There are many ways on how one can deal with this kind of people and avoid being manipulated. One way is to be aware of the psychological tactics they use, so they can’t manipulate you into doing their bidding.
This is a hard one, because you’d have to have been manipulated by them in the past successfully or to know their character very well, before you can decode the manipulative behaviour that they try to apply on you.
2- Communicate clearly:
Another way is to not fall into their tricks and traps by making sure that you have clear communication channels with them, which will help you out in any situation, where manipulation or deception might occur.
In other words, discuss all aspects of a topic with them without leaving any stone unturned. Discuss in clear language, eye-to-eye and in simple sentences. If they divert the conversation away from the topic of discussion then try to slowly and gradually guide them back to it.
3- You can’t always understand their ulterior motives:
Sometimes we need to understand how manipulation can happen, so that we can avoid it. One way to do this is to learn what the manipulative person aims at and what they are trying to obtain by manipulating you. At the start, if that person is close to you, you may not understand their games and intentions. You may even think that they have no benefit at all in wanting to turn you against a person.
However, you should be aware that manipulative people are not always after financial gain or materialistic things, they may want to watch someone suffer or be in a lower position than themselves to feel good so they may be manipulating some purely just to hurt others. They may also be manipulating someone out of envy, jealousy and other negative feelings; that push them to want to see them make the wrong decisions and ruin their relationships with others or fail at something.
That’s why you need to understand that their intentions and motives may not always be clear, which could convince you that they have nothing to gain from a situation and that they may be giving you the right advice. when clearly they are not giving the right advice and they just want to watch drama unravel in front of their eyes or hurt you or others through your actions.
By not wondering too much about their intentions and motives behind acting a specific way, you may be able to identify their tactics immediately. Especially, if you already know about their manipulative nature.
4- Ask for visual evidence:
Some people are more manipulative than others. They try to use their power to one-up you and create trouble in your life, if they are benefitting from it. They persuade you that something is true or real, but then have no real proof to back up their statement. Sometimes even if you tell them that something is not true, they may still manipulate you and convince in different ways and using different methods that it is.
It is good to keep facts straight because sometimes it takes time to explain them or they are vague or ambiguous. You should listen carefully to their statements and ask for visual evidence when necessary, you can even go as far as making sure that the evidence is not fabricated. It is also important not to give up on your ideas just because someone says otherwise.
5- Ask them some personal questions in relation to the topic at hand:
If your goal is to not be manipulated by them, then communicate clearly and ask any question that comes to mind, so that there will be no misunderstandings or ambiguity on both sides of the table. Only when there are no misunderstandings, misinterpretations or assumptions based on no evidence; do we have a chance of making progress with a person we believe can be manipulative.
If you deal with these people, it is important to corner them and find out their real intentions by asking them questions and not letting them go off-topic, change topics or focus only on one-side of the conversation.
6- Measure how manipulative they are:
There is a common misconception that anyone can be a manipulative person. But that is not always the case, if you’re a smart person that pays close attention to details then the chances of entrapping you, scamming you or manipulating you will be lower.
Only a few people are capable of manipulating others successfully, and they do it with such subtlety that it’s hard to detect their scheme at first sight. But once you’ve detected it, don’t let yourself get muddled by their tactics and put an end to their manipulative game immediately.
A manipulative person is someone who manipulates and uses a false aspect of logic to get their way. They might not be very smart but they are calculated enough or expert in the field that they’re talking about. They may also have a lot of knowledge about the topic under discussion and may even know a lot of people with influence in the industry.
A person who manipulates and controls can be a danger to your future, as they would usually have no remorse or hesitation to use you to their exclusive advantage, regardless of what it could mean for you.
That’s why you should always be careful and pay attention to the signs that someone is being manipulative. Once you spot that they are then try using the methods listed above to expose them or to understand their games.