Why do people go missing, out of choice sometimes

disappear by choice

Some people choose to disappear from society and live their lives away from the people they’ve known all their lives and their judgement. They go off the grid and live a life of solitude or move to a new town or city where nobody knows them.

So why do they do that and what’s the possible reasons for someone to do something so drastic and something that may be out of character for them.

5 Reasons why people choose to disappear:

1- Start a new chapter in life:

It’s not easy to start over. You might be stuck in a place where you don’t want to be. It’s been hard for you for a long time, and it seems like the only way out is to change scenery, up and move to a new place without giving notice nor giving others the possibility to follow or find you.

It might take a little bit of time, but once you have made that decision, it is hard to decide to stay. In order for people to start over, they need a reason and motivation. If they don’t have anything that inspires them and drives them forward, they might end up staying in the same place forever.

It is a common human desire to want to start over sometimes or want to escape from our daily routine and pretend like we’re someone different or have a different life. However, it is not easy to act on it and change cities or relocate just to start a new chapter in life. It also takes a lot of effort and dedication.

2- Don’t want to fail in front of others:

There are many people who are stuck in a rut and they just need a chance to start again. They might be struggling with their career, relationships, or finances.

Some of these people might not have the confidence to start over because they feel like they don’t know what could happen. However, others are willing to make that jump. Once their current lives become too complicated or too difficult or once they see that debt is piling up and that there’s nobody to save them or help them out of it, they vanish. They choose to disappear and take a long break away from everyone.

They think that nobody will worry about them that much anyway, because nobody helped them when they were in that bad situation. So they do the same and don’t worry about what others will feel or how much they’ll worry and they just disappear on everyone, until they come back one day.

Sometimes, they never come back and just choose to stay out of sight and out of everyone’s judgement on how much they failed at life or how they achieved nothing.

3- Escape from the past:

The past can cause you to feel stuck, and it can be the reason for you to stay in a situation that you don’t want to be in for long. Many people feel like they need to escape the past in order to make a positive change.

You can’t turn back time, but you can start a new chapter in life by moving on from the past. Some people feel they deserve a chance away from the people that can judge them and those that know of their past mistakes and will know forever.

They may feel stuck, if they made a crime and already paid for it with jail time or if they did something they’re ashamed of but that is still not illegal. Either way, these people deserve to live, repent, move on, have new dreams and life goals away from their past mistakes.

When we look back at our lives, we often get stuck in memories of good times but also those of bad times. We miss the moments that made us who we are today and want to relive them again and again.

But when we look ahead, it is hard to see how our future will play out because there are so many uncertainties involved and too many people that know.

When we want to start living for the present, with new people that have no clue about our past, only then can we truly free ourselves from a horrible experience or a shameful mistake or situation from our past. We may have done something bad in the past due to our past immaturity and naivety, but we don’t have to pay for it forever. We deserve to have another chance at being happy, especially if we already paid the consequences of our past actions.

4- Don’t want to conform to society’s standards:

Some people choose to live in a place where they will not be judged, while others want to escape the judgmental eyes of their very friends and relatives.

They may not want to get on the hamster wheel and follow the traditional way of doing things. They may not want to find a high-paying job or position nor do any type of long education for a degree not any type of what we call “hard work”.

If it was up to them, they may just want to grow vegetables somewhere and live on them or live a very minimalistic lifestyle. Not having to work, start a family or do much. Others may choose some type of living that most people won’t get; so they go off the grid and choose not to conform to society standards of what they should be doing or how to be successful.

It’s important for those who are on the fence about disappearing to make sure they know why they want to do so before taking such drastic measures.

5- Don’t want to live up to others’ expectations:

Some people are choosing to disappear from society and live a life on their own terms. Some people have chosen to do this for various reasons. While some choose to disappear in order to avoid the judgement and criticism of society, others choose it because they want to be free from the pressure of living up to other people’s expectations.

People who choose this lifestyle often live in remote areas and rely on themselves for survival. They may also work as a provider or trade with other people who are living outside of society too. Or they may simply choose to go to a different country or city and reintegrate society, find a job and live a normal life, just away from their old identity.

Check out our article on how to kindly decline others’ expectations that they put on your shoulders, without your permission or consent.

Bottom line:

Some people disappear out of choice, others disappear due to circumstances beyond their control. People who disappear from society often do so to avoid judgement and scrutiny, which can be heartbreaking for them when their relatives don’t understand their life choices.

If one of your relatives chooses to disappear then investigate first and confirm that it was not a kidnapping or something sinister. Once you confirm with evidence or by hearing them directly state that it was their choice, then you should leave them alone.

You should understand that it was the last option for them and be grateful that they didn’t choose to end their life instead, for the same reasons that they chose to take such drastic actions.

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