Attachment issues are a common problem among couples. The partner with attachment issues is often one who is not able to express their feelings and emotions properly. They fear abandonment and may even start sabotaging the relationship, especially if it’s going well.
There are some ways that you can deal with a partner with attachment issues. And, we will list a few below.
Attachment issues can be a huge barrier to intimacy and can cause unnecessary pain for partners. The article discusses how to identify and deal with attachment issues in a partner, as well as how you can prevent them from ruining your relationship.
Identify their attachment issues first:
If both partners have attachment issues, it may be difficult for them to resolve these problems on their own. In this case, it may be necessary for one of the partners to end the relationship or seek professional help from a licensed therapist or counselor.
The first step to dealing with this issue is to identify the signs of attachment in your partner. Signs of attachment issues include and are not limited to:
-Lack of trust in others.
-Intense jealousy and possessiveness.
-Excessive seeking of reassurance or validation from others.
-Demanding constant attention from the other person.
-The fear of being too close to a partner or relying on them.
-Avoiding intimacy or going into “fight” mode, when they feel too close or too dependant or reliant on a partner that could betray or abandon them.
Check out our article on how to stop sabotaging your good relationships, if you have similar problems.
If this applies to your partner, then you may be dealing with someone who has attachment issues. You can start by kindly and calmly making them aware of their issue, so that you can work on it together as a team.
4 Ways of dealing with a partner with attachment issues:
1- Help them find ways to express their feelings:
If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who has attachment issues, you can help them find ways to express their feelings and emotions in healthy ways.
A first option is to explain your needs clearly and ask the same from your partner. This way, both of you know how each other feels about the other person, what they expect and how they want the relationship to be.
You should allow your partner to express their emotions without judgement or criticism and prove a safe environment for them to be able to do that. Allow them to talk or write about their feelings and listen without interrupting or losing your temper, for any reason.
Attachment issues can be addressed by creating a safe space for your partner where they feel comfortable expressing their emotions. It is important that you are able to empathise with their feelings and acknowledge that they are valid and real, even when you cannot find any logical cause or reason for them.
2- Make your relationship as safe as possible:
If you are dating someone with attachment issues, it can be difficult to know how to approach the situation. Attachment issues are more common than you think and they might be a symptom of a larger issue. There are some things that you can do to help your partner feel more comfortable with being close.
You should start by making your relationship as safe as possible. For example, you should have a set time where you both don’t answer any calls or texts from anyone and only dedicate your full attention and care to your partner. This way, they know that they’re your priority and that you put them over all and everyone and they can try trusting you more.
Your partner should also know that whenever they reach out for your support, it will be there for them and they will never be abandoned, hurt or betrayed by you.
3- Find the root reason or cause:
It can be difficult to deal with someone who has attachment issues. It is important to understand the root cause of this issue so you can take the appropriate steps.
Attachment issues are a symptom of other underlying issues. The most common one is that they have experienced trauma or abuse in their childhood. It is important to understand the root cause so you can take the appropriate steps and help them heal.
Check out our article on childhood trauma and how to heal from it.
4- Help them get over the past:
Another thing you can do is to help them learn how to detach from the past and its repercussions when they need to. You can do that by making them understand that their present and future has nothing to do with whoever abandoned them or hurt them in the past.
Not forgiving the person that did that is one thing but being scared that any other person you meet may do the same is another.
It is important to understand that attachment issues happen in relationships whether it is romantic or platonic. It is a complex process for both partners and it can be frustrating at times.
Attachment issues can be caused by a variety of factors such as childhood trauma, domestic violence, or even a past relationship that was not healthy. It’s important for partners to be patient and understanding when dealing with someone who has attachment issues.