We often fall in love with people who are not right for us. We don’t realize that they are toxic until it’s too late and until the relationship becomes unhealthy but too hard to let go of.
There are a few things that you can do to stop yourself from loving the wrong person, to begin with. And, we will explore a few in the coming paragraphs.
Few ways to stop yourself from loving the wrong person:
Many people in relationships go through the process of loving someone who is not the right person for them.
It is important to know how to stop yourself from loving someone who is not good for you and find a better match the next time, using the following methods.
1. Take your time after every break-up:
We often tell ourselves that we are only attracted to the wrong person because of a “bad break-up” or because we are desperate. But in reality, people who have been through a bad break-up are more likely to pick the wrong person again after that.
This is because when people get out of a relationship, they want to feel happy and loved again and they rush into something new. They think that rushing into something new will help them forget and move on quickly, but it just doesn’t work that way.
Everyone needs time and space to heal their broken heart before they can invest their entire being, energy, and all in someone new. We need to take some time after every break-up, take a step back and contemplate where we’re at in life, what we have learned, and who it turned us into before we jump into a new relationship.
2. Know what you want:
We often fall for the wrong person because we develop an emotional connection with them, by giving them a chance when they don’t even fit our criteria. We may find in them some qualities that we admire, but we should always remind ourselves that it’s not enough, if they don’t meet our general standards.
You will need to be honest with yourself about what you want out of a relationship and if they are not meeting those needs then it might be time to let them go, regardless of all the other boxes you think they tick.
To stop yourself from loving the wrong person, it is important to understand what your needs are in a relationship and what they are not. You need to know what your deal breakers are and how much time you want to spend getting to know a person before you decide if they’re right for you.
It is important to understand that you are not obligated to be with someone who does not fit your criteria. You should never settle for a relationship that makes you unhappy and causes you pain. To be able to do that properly, you have to be able to recognize your own worth and believe that you deserve the best in life. You have to be able to see your own beauty and believe that you’re a good match yourself.
Check out this article to self-assess through a points-based system whether you’re a good catch or not.
3. No mercy or pity for liars and deceivers:
Sometimes, we fall in love with the wrong person even after having checked whether or not they tick all our boxes and even after we have handpicked and selected the person according to our criteria. How is that possible, you ask?
That’s when the person or our date was hiding their true colors or ugly truths at the start of the relationship or during the dating phase. In this case, they would’ve lied or pretended to some extent to fit into our criteria and what we want.
Unfortunately, there are people like this in the world but luckily for you the same way they would’ve lied to you and led you on, you should learn to have no mercy or pity for a liar or someone who wasn’t fully open or honest with you.
This is not something you can brush off or forgive, the same way they had no pity looking into your eyes and lying or pretending you have to be able to have no regard for them once the truth comes out. You have to remember that they’re not who you thought they were, which automatically disqualifies them from being able to be with you.
4. Love yourself, first:
It is important to love yourself before you can love anyone else. You will be able to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship and know when it is time to let go and focus on yourself. In order to do that, make sure you follow these steps:
First, you have to remind yourself that you deserve better than what someone who’s wrong for you is giving you. You should never settle for anything less than what makes you happy and fulfilled.
Second, ask yourself if this person is worth your time and effort, and how you feel about them before you ask yourself how they feel about you. If they aren’t making you feel that great, then it’s time to move on and give up on the idea of being with them because they’re not worth it.
Third, take care of your mental health by doing things that make you feel good such as eating healthy food, exercising, or taking a bath.
5- Eliminate people that are indecisive or don’t have the same lifegoals as you:
It may seem like the person you are dating is perfect for you. They may be funny, charming and intelligent, but if they are not honest with you about what they want out of life then they are not right for you.
If the person you are dating doesn’t have a sense of direction in their life or if they don’t know what they want to do with their lives, it’s time to quit them. If the person can’t tell you where they want to live in five years then that is a sign that this relationship will never work.
People are attracted to others who share similar interests and goals in life as themselves. If you find someone with the same life goals as yourself, then it will be much easier to get along and work towards the same aspirations, ambitions and a common future.
It’s important to make sure that the person you love has the same life goals as you. If they don’t, then it will be difficult for both of you if things progress further than just a casual relationship.
6- Don’t be the wrong person to fall in love with either:
It’s important to know your worth and be honest about what you have to offer. If you are not feeling like you are being treated as an equal or that you are compatible with the other person, then it’s time to move on.
We are often too afraid of being honest with people we want to have a romantic relationship with about what we have to offer. We think they will leave us if we tell them the truth. But that’s not always the case, because if they like you enough, they may decie that what you have and who you are is enough and they will accept you and all your flaws.
It can be hard to figure out that you’re not the right person for your partner or not what they’re looking for. But, you have to say your truths from the start and before things get serious. It’s easier to lie, pretend and carry on but things may get more serious, complicated and sour.
It’s better you say the truth about all from the start and let them decide if they want to proceed at their own risk and responsibility. It is better than being reminded by them every single day of the relationship that you were never what they hoped for, or what they think they deserve.
Love is a complicated feeling that can be hard to understand. You might think that you are in love when, in reality, it’s just infatuation. Or you could be in love with someone who does not feel the same way about you.
You could think you’re in love with the wrong person, but the fact that you even saw that they’re wrong for you already means that you’re halfway out of this relationship and you just need a little push to free yourself fully, heal and have a chance at meeting your true other half.