Obsessing over someone is a frustrating experience. You only feel fear and restlessness, when the object of your obsession is not around. You can’t function without them and nothing else matters.
Surely there is more to life than the person you are obsessed with, but you just cannot bring yourself to stop! That’s when you know your obsession has turned unhealthy.
It’s one thing to casually fantasize about someone and think about them often. It’s another thing entirely to have every aspect of your life revolve around them. When that happens, it’s easy to lose yourself and your identity.
The good news is that, if you’re aware of your obsession and you want to do something about it, you can. There are many different ways to shake an obsession off, and today we will discuss 5 effective steps.
1. Keep Your Distance:
We know this is easier said than done when you’re obsessing over a person, and finding every aspect of them intriguing, mesmerizing, or attractive. But, keeping your distance and distracting yourself with other matters of life, other people and even hobbies is the first thing you need to do.
Give that person a breather or some space, literally and metaphorically. Out of sight, out of mind! The less contact you have with the object of your obsession, the better. That means you should mute or block them on social media, delete them from your contacts, and avoid the places they usually frequent.
If you have friends in common, you shouldn’t hang out if you know the object of your obsession will be there. You can see your friends some other time. Essentially, you need to detox from that person. Otherwise, you will never get over this obsession and it will only get worse.
2. Find a Distraction:
We went over this earlier but now it’s time to go into details about it. So, let’s say you’ve successfully removed that person from your life. You don’t see them on any of your social media feeds and you never hang out with them in any capacity. That’s great progress, but it doesn’t mean you won’t think about them.
Unfortunately, pushing someone out of your mind is a bit more challenging. Even if you block them and make it impossible to talk to them through any means of communication, you may still have the urge to unblock them and say hi. To keep that from happening, you need to distract yourself.
Whether that’s spending time with family and friends, practicing a hobby, learning a new skill, etc., it’s completely up to you. When you feel the urge to think about them, you should have a healthy distraction you can surrender yourself with. The possibilities are endless!
3. Indulge in Self-Care:
Taking care of yourself is one of the best ways to start living an obsession-free life and refocus your attention on yourself. Self-care can take many different forms, whether that’s social, mental, spiritual, physical, emotional, practical, or professional self-care.
It’s all about giving yourself the love and attention you deserve, instead of focusing entirely on someone else. Do things that make you happy and love yourself instead of obsessing about things that won’t matter in a couple of years.
You, on the other hand, will matter to yourself forever that’s why focusing on yourself can only be beneficial. If there’s no you then there will be literally no life for you and this means that you should always put yourself first in every situation of life.
There’s nothing that you can do for yourself that will be a waste or pointless. In fact, an unhealthy obsession could result in horrible consequences that may ruin your future and life. But, focusing on yourself and bettering yourself can only better your future and your chances of getting the attention of people that may reciprocate your feelings.
Give into self-care by meditating, journaling, exercising, taking naps, dancing, reading, visiting your favorite places around town, trying a new hobby, spending time with family, cuddling with your pet, etc. Any of these activities are more fulfilling than an unhealthy obsession, we promise you that.
4. Develop new habits:
Is going through that person’s profile the first thing you do when you wake up? Well, that needs to change! When you’re obsessing over someone, you fall into unhealthy habits that need to be corrected.
So, instead of checking their social media, why don’t you start your day by making yourself a delicious breakfast? Alternatively, you can journal for 5 minutes, cuddle with your pet, or take a short walk.
Get rid of your obsessive habits by developing new and healthier ones. You need to remember your life doesn’t revolve around that person! So, instead of thinking about them or stalking them, do something for yourself.
5. Knock Them Off the Pedestal:
It’s extremely easy to ignore a person’s flaws when we are attracted to them. They can do no wrong in our eyes and, as a result, we overlook the major flaws and red flags. However, they also make mistakes, they’re only human and they have imperfections just like everyone.
When you’re obsessing over someone, you only focus on what you like about them and you make excuses for what you don’t. If you want to let go of this obsession, you need to be honest with yourself. You need to do the opposite. Try emphasizing their flaws and minimizing what’s good about them, at least in your head.
The object of your obsession is not perfect, you’ve simply idealized them for too long. So, it’s time to knock them off the pedestal. See them for who they really are; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Unhealthy obsessions can affect your quality of life in ways that aren’t always easy to perceive. If you want to regain control of yourself and finally ditch this unhealthy behavior, then the 5 steps listed above should help!
Remember, there are more important things to do with your time and your life isn’t supposed to revolve around someone else. Put yourself first and move on to better things.