8 reasons why you have self-destructive tendencies

self destructive tendencies

Looking from the outside, it’s hard to imagine that there are people who would hurt themselves willingly. It is inconceivable for some and even complex that anyone would engage in self-destructive tendencies.

However, sometimes these same people would be having self-destructive habits themselves, that they are not fully aware of. In many ways, what they may not know is that they are probably doing it too out of habit and in an unconscious way.

Here are eight reasons to explain why someone would have an unconscious self-destructive behavior. 

Reasons behind self-destructive tendencies:

1. Anxiety:

It’s believed that due to the general busy city life, most people nowadays, suffer from anxiety. Anxiety is a mental health disorder that manifests in many different ways in different people. And, it’s hard to tell if you have been suffering from it if the symptoms only start to show recently.

Most people mistake it for stress and exhaustion and just assume that a bit of peace, rest, and quiet will solve everything. But it most likely won’t. Unconsciously, people who suffer from anxiety start using coping mechanisms that can lead to self-destructive behavior.

2. Depression:

The reason why depression can lead to self-destructive behavior is mainly due to one of its symptoms: loss of interest and even apathy. As human beings, we are used to receiving thousands of stimuli per day and react in one way or the other to them.

When we become numb to all things and people in our life, we look for a more brutal way to feel alive again but through pain. When we are unable to feel engaged or interested in anything, unconsciously, we may start finding ways of feeling stimuli by developing a self-destructive behavior.

3. Eating disorders:

The eating disorder itself can be seen as a self-destructive behavior as a person is actively messing with a healthy and normal lifestyle, b y engaging in abnormal habits. This will only cause their body to over-exert itself in an attempt to function normally. People who suffer from eating disorders may not realize at first that their eating habits are hurting not only their bodies but also their mental health.

It usually starts with a small change in their daily routine and, slowly, if nothing is done to stop it, it expands, until eating or not eating food takes control of most of their thoughts. Besides putting their body at serious risk, their mental health is negatively affected, flooded with stress hormones.

4. Personality disorders:

People who suffer from personality disorders tend to find it difficult to relate with other people in a stable, meaningful way. Once they realize this, they start isolating themselves and giving up on unnecessary social interactions.

Soon enough, intrusive thoughts may start to form and they will develop a self-destructive behavior to cope with their inability to live what everyone else idealizes and sees as a normal life.

5. Post-traumatic stress disorder:

When people have been exposed to severe trauma they may not manifest any secondary effects, until after many months or even years. That’s why many people don’t seek professional help when their mental health starts worsening, since they don’t understand why they are feeling that way.

Instead, they find coping mechanisms that, even though provide some relief momentarily, result in bad habits that will end up harming their health and, many times, lead to self-destructive behavior.

Sometimes, people who have PTSD feel drawn to similar situations as to what happened during their most traumatic experience, instead of avoiding them. They unconsciously find that they function better when they’re constantly under stress and fear what’s to come. It keeps life interesting and adds a lot of thrill to it, rather than being bored, alone with nothing to do.

6. People feel pleasure from the first:

One of the reasons why self-destructive behavior can be unconscious is because people don’t regard them as destructive at all. Some activities like drinking alcohol or experimenting with different drugs can become gateways to self-destructive behavior.

People start drinking in social functions or when they get together with their family, but if they are going through a tough time in their lives, alcohol can become a crutch. The same can be said about taking other bad substances.

Because of their addictive nature, people can’t stop taking them just because they want. Soon, these addictions can take full control of people’s lives and steer them to a dark path. They find that they can no longer perform well enough at their jobs and social life, so they start neglecting friends, family, and gradually all aspects of their lives.

7. Anger management issues:

We all have our way of dealing with the hardships we encounter in life, but what’s worse is when our method is no longer working or giving us the results we wish for. Feeling anger towards something that didn’t go as planned is a natural reaction, but what’s to be expected too is that we eventually control that anger or channel it into motivation.

When people choose not to control it, and others start noticing a problem, they will distance themselves from the angry person, living them isolated. This could lead to even more anger outbursts and losing jobs and friends. Check this article, if you want to learn to control your anger during arguments.

8. Unhealthy habits derived from the lifestyle:

The truth is, when you always have had the same way of living, it’s difficult to imagine another one. Because of this, what is also difficult is to realize that your lifestyle may contain many hidden unhealthy habits, such as not having a regular sleep time, not eating in a balanced way, or being influenced by the wrong crowd, which all can amount to self-destructive behavior.

It’s very hard to change this one because it’s all about habits you’ve probably had all your life and have no idea how to identify them or change them.

In the end, if you find that what you sabotage or destroy unconsciously the most with your self-destructive ways is your good relationships then it may be worth it to check this article.

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