Does ignoring an ex-boyfriend to get him back work?

ignoring ex-boyfriend to get him back

The answer for this is a simple no. Of course, you can attract the attention of your ex-boyfriend and even make him a part of your life again, but it will never be a long-lasting decision.

It’s possible to get back with an ex-boyfriend, but for that to happen you both need to have enough emotional maturity to recognize what you did wrong in the relationship. You both need to understand how you can avoid making the same mistakes and, most important of all, let go of resentment.

But if this still doesn’t convince you, here are some of the reasons why ignoring your ex-boyfriend to get him back doesn’t work. In fact, to ignore your ex means a lot and can be powerful and amazing, but only when you don’t intend on taking them back. Check out this article at the end of your reading, to see why ignoring your ex is just the right thing to do, if you don’t want them back.

Why ignoring your ex doesn’t get him or har back to you:

1. You can’t ignore someone in the hopes they will get back with you:

Think of it this way: if you broke up with your ex, and ceased all contact with them so you can move on with your life, your ex will get the hint. Even if your ex wanted you back they will assume you don’t because that’s the way you’re acting, so they’d think you won’t even notice their efforts.

Imagine if you were truly too busy with your life and didn’t even think about you ex that much. If this is was the case then would you have expected them to keep bothering you or expecting anything at all from you? You’d probably think they’re a psycho or a stalker in this case. So what makes you think that it would be different if you were to act like you’re truly done with your ex and ignore them fully? 

Ignoring your ex may seem like a smart way to intrigue them, which is understandable because you know your true intentions behind ignoring them. However, this can only last for a day or two. After having been intrigued they will start moving on after that.

2. If you want someone, put in the work:

One of the reasons why so many relationships stop working is because one or both parties in the relationship stop making an effort to make it work and one of the two starts feeling neglected. Because of this, you can’t expect that the only effort you make to try to get back with your ex is ignoring them, which won’t work.

If you truly want that relationship back you need to directly show your ex that you have changed and are willing to make some efforts to correct the mistakes you have done in the past. If you think about it, ignoring your ex-boyfriend will come across as doing the exact opposite of putting some work in the relationship. 

3. You will come off as manipulative:

When you engage in techniques such as ignoring someone that can be seen as a dissimulated method you’re using to get an unexpected result, you could come off as manipulative. Your relationship might have ended for different reasons, but trying to get back with your ex-boyfriend by ignoring him is manipulative and is the right recipe for a disaster. If you want your old relationship back, you probably don’t want to get back into it on bad terms, as this won’t make any of you happier. 

Remember that your ex-boyfriend also has a say in the matter, and if he’s not interested in getting back with you, you need to respect his wishes, instead of being rude to him and ignoring him. If you try to make him feel guilty, just to teach him a lesson and force him back into the relationship out of pity then it will become toxic.

You should only want to be in a relationship with someone who is one hundred percent present and involved. If you manipulate someone into being in a relationship with you, you will never feel completely satisfied, because they won’t make any effort to preserve the relationship.

4. You will hurt their feelings:

You are going through a break-up and you feel like your heart is broken, so it’s normal to forget that you are the only one suffering from it. When we are hurting so much and don’t hear anything back from the person who hurt us, it’s hard to imagine that we could have caused them pain and they are suffering as well. 

You might think that the only way of getting rid of the pain is getting back with your ex-boyfriend, but when you are in this state, your actions will reflect your emotions.

Your first instinct might be coming out of spite and you feel compelled to ignore them and make it clear to them that they’re dead to you. However, this might have the opposite effect. You will add even more pain and bitterness to the relationship, which will decrease the likelihood of your ex-boyfriend ever wanting to go back to you.

5. Communication is key:

This is probably one of the most important things to take into consideration. You’ve probably heard that the best ally for a healthy relationship is communication. Maybe you and your ex-boyfriend failed in this area and that’s why you broke up. So in this case, this should only give you a strong reason to work on your communication skills.

Ignoring your ex-boyfriend to get him back is the opposite of what you should do. You should reach out to him instead and explain in detail how you are feeling. You should also share why you think it would be a good idea to get back together. If he refuses, then you should respect his decision, in the end here are a few boundaries for being friends with an ex in case that’s the route you end up taking.

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