It is understandable that you would want to go through the motions of knowing if your ex is over you, but the truth is that it is not going to happen overnight. Most people try to conceal and hide their feelings after a breakup, as their pride and ego might get in the way.
If your ex has been in love with you for so long and you have been a part of their life for so long, then they may be feeling devastated now but not showing it. The best thing they can do right now if they are truly in this situation is to learn how to live with this feeling and take care of themselves, while they are in this state. It will be difficult, but it will get easier as time goes on. Or…
Or, if they’re brave enough and want you back, they can always try to catch your attention with the signs listed below and let you know they’re not over you:
1. They try to catch your attention with eye contact:
Depending on the life and routines you shared when you were together, sometimes it’s impossible to completely avoid your ex. And even though you’re more than ready to make all the efforts to not see them as much, if your ex is not over you, they won’t partake in those same efforts.
Every time they have a chance to see you, they will make it clear that they still want you by making intense eye contact. Sometimes, they even do this subconsciously, because as humans, we tend to lock eye contact with people and things that our eyes like looking at.
2. They can’t control their jealousy:
When your ex is not over you, they probably want to make sure that you haven’t moved on either. They will find the tiniest justification to prove that you’re happier than them and they were the ones who were truly in love and, therefore, are the ones who are suffering more.
They won’t be able to control their feelings and, probably won’t want to. They will try to make you feel jealous too, by showing that they moved on, even though they haven’t.
3. They purposefully forget things at your house:
If your ex is still not over you, that means that they are still hoping to get back together, even though you may have already made clear that you’ll never want that. One of their excuses to try to see you is by purposefully forgetting some of their belongings at your house.
They think that, if you see them often, you will start changing your mind. They also try to buy time and gain more minutes having you around, talking to you, looking at you and getting a chance to revive what once was.
4. They convince their friends to spy on you:
Your ex may not be over you and wants you back, and they are probably aware of whether you are willing to take them back or not. Or, they must have an idea about it just from the way you’ve been acting around them.
Because of this, they will try not to be as direct as possible. Instead, they will contact your mutual friends and try to convince them to spend time with you and report back to them about your state of mind and well-being.
5. They keep some things of yours with them:
This works more or less in the same way when they deliberately leave things at your house. In this case, they will keep some of your belongings and, if you don’t contact them to get your things back, they will wait for the right moment to tell you to come collect them.
They will probably call you to their place or a coffee shop and squeeze a date with you out of this silly excuse. And, if you go by to their house, they will gladly return them to you but not without a long conversation about why that break-up should’ve never happened. This is just another excuse to spend some time with you.
6. They try to bump into you:
One thing is clear, when you go through a breakup you create a new routine to avoid running into your ex at the public places you used to go together.
An ex that’s not over the breakup will do the opposite. If you see your ex at a place where you both used to go, and they point out that it’s a funny coincidence, believe that it’s not. They probably had gone there every day to try to see you.
7. They’re available for help, if you need anything:
If your ex is not over you they will find excuses to still be a part of your life.
While some exes want to remain friends, without second intentions, yours may use every opportunity to show that they are the most reliable and helpful person in your life. They want to show you that you’re missing out by not being in a relationship with them anymore.
Check out this article about the boundaries you HAVE to put in place for staying friends with an ex, if you want peace of mind, no drama and happiness.
8. They look like they’re pretending to be happy:
To heal after a breakup you need time, so it’s normal to not feel emotionally okay at first. However, if you see that your ex is happier than ever, it’s something that you should be suspicious about.
They desperately want you back, but they’re also eager to show you that you didn’t hurt them in any way. This is a clear contradiction and you may want to check out this article to find out if your ex is only “pretending” to be over you.
9. They experience anger episodes:
If you seem abnormally happy after an intense breakup, the opposite thing can happen too. It’s normal to feel some resentment towards the person who left you, but what’s not normal is when an ex consistently direct their anger at you.
You might think, by their aggressive behavior, that your ex now hates you, but it’s often not the case. Instead, it sometimes means that they still have strong feelings for you and are frustrated because they can’t shake them off.
10. They still follow you on social media:
One of the healthiest things you can do to be over your ex is trying to remove them from your life as much as possible.
However, if your ex still follows you on social media, interacts with your posts, and still has pictures of you together on their profile, they could need more time to heal. This doesn’t necessarily mean that they are okay with the breakup, but time heals all wounds and sooner or later they will delete it all so that their next date doesn’t think they’re desperate, they’re a stalker or a freak.
You can also check out this article to see if your ex is trying to get your attention on social media. That’s only if you think there’s a lot going on indirectly between the two of you, online.