10 things that define a husband’s role in a marriage

husband's role in marriage

Some people argue that the role of a husband in a marriage is constantly changing as societies evolve.

However, there are main aspects that never change, and to help you find out which ones these are, here is a list of 10 things that define a husband’s role in a marriage universally and in all Abrahamic religions.

1. Provide Emotional Support:

A big factor that affects in various ways our daily lives is the way we deal with our emotions. However, when we have a partner by our side, that we can rely on and relax with, all of that becomes easier.

A husband should expect that there will be times when the best thing to do for his wife is to offer emotional support. By letting her know that she can share all her hardships and all her joys, he will be removing stress and burdens off her shoulders. This will better the marriage and create a safe space to share feelings and be vulnerable before recovering and healing.

This will also create a strong bond between husband and wife, and at the same time, she will be more open to sharing her problems and worries with her partner. This will strengthen the trust between the two of you and eliminate secrets in the marriage.

2. Defending his spouse and having her back:

One of the main aspects, of why someone enters a romantic relationship, is because the other person gives them a sense of safety. A husband needs to make sure that he is the person with whom his wife feels most secure. The sense of security varies from person to person.

To some, security is mostly about the physical sphere, but it could also extend to the emotional, mental, and psychological spheres. You need to be able to assess if your wife is lacking security in any aspect of her life and try to compensate for that.

So it goes without saying that a husband should also stand strong in the face of any third party that tries to interfere in his marriage or make a negative comment about his wife.

He should be ready to have his wife’s back and protect her, even if he agrees with the third party. He can later discuss privately the issue with his wife and say his true feelings, in a kind and gentle manner, and why he thinks she’s wrong. But, not in public or in the presence of an external party.

The point is to always show others not to try and involve themselves in his relationship with his wife or to even dream of telling on her at his door. So in public, they should be one inseparable unit that no soul can squeeze itself between.

If you have problems with in-laws here’s how to navigate them with your husband or wife in a smart way. You can also check this article if you have issues with a difficult mother-in-law or sister-in-law. Or, if you just want a list of 10 boundaries for a nosy mother-in-law, then here it is!

3. Being a good provider financially for her and his family:

At first sight, this idea can sound a bit old-fashioned. Nowadays, it’s very common for both husband and wife to have jobs and careers, thus both will be able to provide financially. However, even though many women have secure jobs, they still expect their husbands to do the same and to even have their back financially.

Especially if she lost her job due to pregnancy or chose to dedicate her life to looking after their children from infancy onwards. This can only be encouraged and hence it should always be an option for the woman. This means that the husband should be able to provide financially and singlehandedly for his little family as the woman could choose to focus on motherhood.

It is only fair and natural that she does that if it’s her choice: since she’s literally the only parent, in this case, capable of producing a baby anyway and breastfeeding. Most women feel secure when their husbands can contribute to their family to ensure financial stability. 

If he cannot, then his wife may have to go through all these stages with financial worries in mind, on top of all the stress that comes with it all, which is not ideal. She will feel like she has to do it all for her little family and do the roles of both parents when her partner cannot contribute much.

For more on this topic, check out this article or whether or not it’s better for you to be the breadwinner in the relationship or the highest earner.

4. Being available to fulfill her needs:

Yes, a wife is a capable adult who can stand on her own feet and do the absolute most for herself. However, that doesn’t mean that she won’t appreciate your help to fulfill her needs and wishes if you can.

A husband’s role consists of being attentive too to his wife’s needs even if she doesn’t express them verbally. If a man makes an active effort to pay attention to his wife’s needs, he will be able to anticipate them.

This way, he will avoid unnecessary stressful situations, arguments, and disagreements. This will ensure a happier and full marriage.

5. Being always down to spend quality time with his wife:

You shouldn’t forget that, like any other relationship, the one you have with your wife needs to be nurtured so it doesn’t go cold and die. If a wife starts asking her man to make time so they can both spend some quality time, then he should listen to her. No questions asked!

A husband should use every opportunity he has to engage in leisure activities with his wife so she can feel appreciated and so he can contribute to strengthening their bond. If he comes up with original ideas of things they can do together, she will be even happier because the initiative came from him.

Essentially, even if a wife seems happy with her life together with her husband, he should still surprise her with fun plans or a relaxed day. This way they can spend time together and keep the flame of the relationship alive. 

6. Loving his spouse unconditionally:

This may seem obvious, but a husband should be on top of it. Sometimes people think that, if you are still in a relationship, it’s obvious to the other person that you still love them, because you would’ve left otherwise, but that’s not always the case.

Generally, people need constant reassurance that they are loved. This means that a man should tell his wife that he loves her every day. But saying it is not enough.  He needs to show it too.

7. Being patient:

Just because one shares their life with someone, it doesn’t mean that both have the same thoughts and life philosophy.

A man needs to be patient about the way his wife deals with their day-to-day routine and aspects of life because, even though some behaviors may seem abnormal to him, they are to her. 

8. Listen to her opinions:

When a wife feels that her husband listens to her opinions, she will feel more loved and appreciated. It’s important to recognize where moments that a wife wants to add her input and to listen to her in silence and then comment on what she said. Together husband and wife should take all important life decisions for their family and couple.

9. Sharing house chores :

Normally, one of the two is better at cooking and the other is better at organizing the house or cleaning. So finding the strong points of each other and dividing the house chores accordingly is key. This way she won’t feel overwhelmed and has more time to relax, look after herself and be the best and happiest version of herself.

10. Become her best friend:

In the end, a husband should be his wife’s best friend. He should be the first person she thinks of when she wants to share something and with whom she wants to be.

A man can become this person to his wife, by being the most involved in her life in a supportive way.

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