There’s no straightforward answer for how long, it takes to fall in love. First, we need to understand what love is, exactly. For that think about visiting this article, and finding out if unconditional love is possible between romantic partners or not after you finish reading this one.
In fact, to even recognize love when it comes knocking on our door we need to understand when attraction ends, and more intense feelings start developing. We also need to understand that people fall in love at different rates. Mainly because of the way each one of us views personal relationships and what we value about them.
However, some experts have stated that to fall in love with someone, it could take approximately ninety days: three months. But if you don’t think you could apply this mathematical rule to your emotions, here are some hints that you might be falling in love and how long it will take.
The steps to falling in love:
1. Attraction at first sight:
Maybe when we were at a younger age we could have believed that love, at first sight, was possible and that’s what we started to look for. But when we start dating we realize that maybe love at first sight is not a real thing. Without wanting to exclude physical looks altogether from the equation, we can say that the most likely thing to happen is an attraction at first sight.
That’s what you feel and can’t explain that just sparks interest and curiosity about a specific person. In fact, if you ever found yourself in a situation like this then check our article on why do you have an unexplainable connection with someone you just met.
It’s only when you explore that mutual spark you both felt between each other, that love may make an appearance. But for that to happen, you will have to give it time. Many people agree that this could take a few months, but it’s different for every couple.
2. Saying the “L” word for the first time:
Saying out loud to your partner that you love them for the first person can be daring. Usually, when one of the people in the relationship starts realizing that they might be falling for their partner they don’t immediately say it. It’s not something you can take back once said out loud and once it reached the ears of the beloved.
Instead, when people first find out that they love their partners, they start to ponder about it. They feel the need to be sure that they love them. And, they sometimes try to find out how the other person feels too. For most people, it takes around a month between the realization that they love someone and saying it to them. Besides needing to be sure that they love their partner, people also fear that, if their partner is not there yet, it could ruin the relationship.
Either they don’t feel they could say it back or say it back because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings. However, this latter option does not prove to be very effective. By saying that you love someone when you don’t, you will be misleading your partner and yourself. Or, it could mean that you’re avoiding a problem in the relationship that, the longer you ignore, the worse it gets.
1. When do men say “I love you”, and when do women do?
Regarding gender differences, men and women don’t tend to declare their love at the same time in a relationship. Of course, there are exceptions for every case, but statistics have shown that men declare their love much earlier in the relationship than women.
Usually, it takes about two months for men to fall in love and say it out loud, whereas, for women, it could take four to six months. Studies have also concluded that women don’t say that they love their partners later in the relationship because they are withholding their feelings, and afraid to be hurt. Instead, studies found out that the idea of loving someone for women often comes to mind only after the man they’re dating would have shown his love in different ways. But, again this is not a rule.
In relationships where there are people of the same gender, it was expected to see some changes regarding the timeline in which love was declared. However, some enquires have shown that it doesn’t pose a big difference and love declarations are exchanged up until six months into the relationship.
3. Waiting enough time to let it happen:
Love is probably the most precious feeling regarded by human beings. People are aware that, although love manifests in different ways, as there are different types of love for different types of relationships, it is always the purest and most fulfilling of the feelings.
That’s why people are always chasing after love. But when having fallen in love, it’s easy to be confused by other less pure feelings, like jealousy, protection, or possession.
If you are in love but know for certain that the person you love does not reciprocate your feelings, your first instinct might be putting all your efforts into trying to make that person love you back.
What you need to realize is that people don’t fall in love by choice. The only thing you could do is try to get their attention in a positive way. Check out this article on whether one-sided relationships can work, before you consider starting one.
Trying to be there for an unresponsive partner can be overbearing for them. Many times, love evolves from an already existing relationship or friendship. But one thing you can’t do is try to manipulate a person into loving you because then it would never be real.