Flirting and keeping your options open is a great idea when you’re not in a committed relationship. If no one is getting hurt, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying that aspect of the dating world.
However, if you’re in a relationship with a guy and he’s entertaining others, that’s a big issue. Especially, if you didn’t agree to an open or casual relationship at any point. In that case, it’s very disrespectful for him to be doing that.
The truth of the matter is that some men will never think you’re enough. This has nothing to do with you, of course. It’s not uncommon for women to think that it’s their fault, if a guy is not 100% interested, focused, or committed.
“Maybe if I was funnier, more beautiful, more carefree, etc., he wouldn’t be entertaining others.” Well, we’re here to tell you to snap out of it. It is not on you and you deserve so much better. If he’s entertaining others while in a relationship with you, here’s what you should do.
1) What to Do If He Entertains Others While in a Relationship With Me:
1- Reassess the Relationship:
The first thing you need to do is reassess the relationship and determine how important he is to you and why. If you truly care about him and you believe he’s the one for you, give him a chance. Talk to him about how it makes you feel that he’s entertaining others.
Place clear limits and let him know that behavior is not acceptable. Maybe he makes an effort, maybe he doesn’t; either way, you’ll know where he stands and you’ll be able to make an informed decision about the relationship.
If you’re with him because you believe you won’t find someone else, we’ve got news for you. You will find someone else, probably someone better as it must be easy to upgrade from this one anyway since he’s acting this way. You are worthy of true love, so don’t settle for any less.
For now, if he has you but he’s still keeping his options open, you shouldn’t waste your time on someone who won’t ever be content with you. He’s the issue, not you. Accept that you weren’t meant to be, drop him, and open yourself to finding someone who will truly appreciate you and love you for who you are.
2- Have an Honest and Open Conversation:
Communication is always worth a try, so have an honest and open conversation with him about his behavior. Explain why it bothers you that he’s entertaining other people, whether that’s flirting with them or rolling with their flirtation.
Choose an appropriate time and place for the conversation and make sure you’re in the right headspace. It shouldn’t be a fight, it should be a discussion where the goal is finding a middle ground.
Sometimes, men are not aware of how their actions make us feel, especially when it comes to other women. So, explain what you’ve noticed, why that behavior is not okay, and place clear boundaries. Check out this article on how to set boundaries in a relationship, if you need to.
Relationships are based on communication and compromises. If he’s as committed as you are, he will accept the error on his part, change his ways and respect the boundaries you both agree on. If he isn’t and he’s unwilling to stop entertaining others, the relationship can’t possibly move forward. So make it clear, and give him the choice!
3- Do the Same to Him:
This option is not about revenge, it’s about enjoying the same kind of fun he’s enjoying. Let’s say that your partner is entertaining other people because he’s a natural charmer and he enjoys flirting but there’s no intention of doing anything more than that.
Let’s also say that your relationship is not the traditional or conventional type and you both agree that there’s nothing wrong with playing and flirting a bit with others.
If that’s the case, you can both agree to entertain other people without taking it further. Check out our article on whether you’re polyaramous and what it means, if you find yourself genuinely attracted to more than one person.
Flirting is not only fun, it’s great for your confidence and self-esteem. It’s not difficult to see why he may enjoy doing that. Ideally, you should be happy flirting with each other and teasing one another in your own couple. However, if that’s not enough for either of you, you can agree to have an open relationship or to flirt with others as long as there are limits.
Doing this requires trust in one another and complete transparency, otherwise, it’s not a good option to consider. Unfortunately, this approach can backfire, and you both need to be aware of that risk. This will help you both be careful and more aware of your own actions.
It’s not easy to know what to do when he’s entertaining others while in a relationship with you. However, we hope the options we provided today can help.
At the end of the day, a relationship takes two people. That means you can’t make it work on your own. If you bring up an issue with his behavior and he has no intention to improve or respect your boundaries, you need to end things and move on. We promise you’ll find someone truly worthy of you!