If things are going great with your partner, you may feel like it’s time to move in together. However, you need to take a moment and think about this. It’s not a decision that anyone should take lightly, so you have to be honest with yourself.
Today, we will discuss how soon is too soon to move in and why you shouldn’t rush it. There’s nothing wrong with waiting a little longer to be sure this is the right decision for you as a couple.
As a rule of thumb, you should wait at least a year before you consider moving in with someone. Many recommend couples wait even longer than a year, but that depends on many factors.
This is a big decision, after all, so before you rush into making it, you need to understand what you’re getting into. The more you know your partner and how they live, the easier it will be to build a routine together.
Reasons why you shouldn’t rush moving in together:
Before you decide to move in together as a couple, you both need to be honest about why you want to do this. There are a few reasons why you shouldn’t rush to move in with someone, such as:
- You’re saving money.
- You feel pressured into it.
- It’s more convenient (this is particularly relevant if you’re long-distance).
- You think it will fix your broken relationship.
- You want them to depend on you.
- You depend too much on them.
- You’re experiencing a hardship.
Though these may seem like valid reasons to move in depending on your situation, you should be careful if they apply to you. Moving in for any other reason than wanting to build a future together and being both ready for the commitment is never a good idea.
Why? Because it can effectively break the relationship. You need to get to know each other deeply before you can live together, that’s a fact. Love alone won’t allow you to make a good home together. You need to have some experience as a couple to determine if you can cope well with the challenges of being under the same roof.
Signs it could be time to move in together:
1- You know how to solve issues:
When you’re living with someone, conflicts and issues are bound to happen. After all, we’re all different. However, the way you handle the issues is a lot more important than trying to avoid them.
So, if you can effectively resolve conflicts between you or together, that’s a great sign. If you’re still working on your conflict resolution skills, give moving sometime.
2- You’ve discussed money:
Money is important if you’re considering moving in together, so you must have an honest conversation about it. Who is going to pay rent? Will you be splitting it? Who will take care of the groceries? What about utilities?
Will you be sharing your finances or will you keep things separate? Do either of you have debt and is there a financial plan in place? These are only a few of the many important questions you need to answer as a couple.
3- You’ve had good practice:
Before you move in together full-time, you should practice living together and see how it goes. For example, you can spend weekends at each other’s places and see how it goes.
Traveling together is also a great way to see if you’re ready to live together. You can even have a trial run and temporarily move in for a week or a month. If you can handle each other well during that time, you might be ready!
4- It makes sense:
When we say it makes sense, we don’t mean that it’s convenient, we mean that you’ve both realized you’re ready for it.
It makes no sense for you to spend time apart when you know you work so well together. You’ve already spent time together and you know it will work, it doesn’t make sense to be apart anymore. So moving in together is the natural next step in your relationship.
More importantly, neither of you wants to live on your own anymore. Not because you’re trying to save money or because it’s easier, but because you’re ready to build a life together. This is probably the best reason to move in together.
“How soon is too soon to move in?” is a difficult question to answer because the truth is, it depends. Some couples move in only 6 months, after getting together and it works out just fine. How much time you wait to move in together will depend on how ready you are as a couple.
Sometimes, one person is ready to move in before the other. If that’s the cause, you need to wait until you’re both on the same page. It will be worth the wait! Either way, if you move in and then realize it was a mistake check out this article on how you can move out without breaking up and without conflict.