Let’s be honest, we all doubt our talents as lovers from time to time. Additionally, there’s a huge stigma around intimacy and it is just assumed that all of us are being undeniably the best lovers to our partners. However, intimacy shouldn’t be about competing either, it should be about experiencing and providing pleasure.
It’s about expressing love or just having fun, it’s not about being the best. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t explore your range and find ways to improve so you can be a better lover.
Luckily, there’s a wealth of resources that can help you improve and enjoy yourself a lot more. Additionally, there are many different things to try. Today, we will explore 7 ways to be a better lover so you can give your confidence a boost and spice up your talents in your relationship.
How to Be a Better Lover in 7 Original Ways:
1- Be a Good Communicator:
Many people fail to see how important communication is when it comes to intimacy. You can’t be a better lover if you have no idea what you or your partner enjoy most.
This is why you need to be a good communicator and let your partner know what you like. At the same time, you must open the floor for your partner to do the same. Ask about their preferences.
What are the things that you do that they really like? What do they wish you stopped doing? What things do they want to try?
2- Open Your Mind:
Keeping an open mind is key when it comes to becoming a better lover. If you want to improve your skills, you need to be open to new things. You may not enjoy everything you try or you may not be sure about something your partner is asking for, but you need to approach things without judgment.
Remember, communication is key and if your partner feels judged or mocked, they will shut down. You need to be mature about trying new things. Keep an open mind and try not to knock something, until you learn more about it and determine if you’d like to give it a shot.
3- Set and Respect Boundaries:
Setting and respecting boundaries is essential and it’s one of the best ways to become a better lover. You need to be honest with yourself and your partner. We all have different preferences, so whenever you’re not willing to do something, make sure you let your partner know.
If your partner is not open to trying something, you should give them the same respect you’d like to receive. Don’t push things, just focus on the things you agree on and go from there. Check out our article on the importance of boundaries in every relationship.
4- Try New Things:
We all have a bucket list of things we’d like to do before we die. If you have a steady partner, you should talk about each others’ lists. Whenever you find things in common, don’t be afraid to try them. This will spice things up between the two of you and don’t forget to address the bullet points that are under the intimacy department too.
Trying new things is the best way to become a better lover and stronger couple. When it comes to intimacy: Whether that’s a different technique, a new position, a toy, a different setting, etc, it is worth trying. A huge part of being a good lover is the willingness to be a little adventurous.
5- Pay Attention to Non-Verbal Cues:
Non-verbal cues are the language of love, so you need to pay attention to them. People speak with their bodies and facial expressions more than they do with words. So, you’ll be able to see what works and what doesn’t through your partner’s body language.
When your partner is enjoying themselves, or happy with you then you will notice. So, don’t try to switch things up. and act accordingly. If you’re not getting anything from them, it means you need to change your approach. Non-verbal cues are super helpful!
6- Don’t Be Selfish:
Being a selfish lover is not the goal here. So, be honest with yourself. Do you often neglect your partner’s needs? Do you pay too much attention to yourself? If that’s the case, you need to change your perspective.
Sexual connection is a two-way street, so both of you should be having fun and enjoying yourselves. It’s never too late to become a more giving partner and create a balance.
7- Don’t Overthink Things:
The last thing you want to do is get too “in your head” about it a lot. If the goal is being a better lover, you need to be present at the moment and surrender yourself: mind and body, to your partner.
You shouldn’t be too in your head, that could in fact create a lot of pressure. Some people worry so much about achieving a specific end result, that they forget about enjoying the moment. Spend more time focusing on your partner and you’ll have a great time.
Becoming a better lover requires communication, open-mindedness, and practice. If you want to switch things up, there are many things you and your partner can try together.
Don’t be afraid to explore new things, travel together more for a change of scenery, and get a little adventurous!