Everything you need to know about the talking stage

talking stage

The talking stage is one of the first phases a romantic relationship goes through and it is a process of getting to know the other person. It is an opportunity to get to know the other person on an emotional and intellectual level. This is the time when both people that want to date each other, are first sharing their life stories, thoughts, and feelings with one another. It’s a time when you are finding out what makes the other person tick and what they think about everything.

The talking stage can be difficult because it’s not always easy to talk about yourself or admit how you feel about certain things. However, it is necessary to be transparent and sincere during this stage so you can eliminate and filter any incompatible match that may just end up wasting your time.

1) The importance of the talking phase in a relationship:

Ideally, a perfect talking stage will lead to a healthy relationship between two compatible individuals. Or, it could lead to the people deciding not to carry on talking or seeing each other, which is also great as long as they don’t waste each other’s time and energy.

Petty and endless arguments can emerge in a couple that has not done the talking stage properly, which in turn could lead to a doomed and toxic relationship. That’s why the talking stage is extremely important to go through even if you find yourself feeling vulnerable and exposed, as that’s just how relationships work.

You have to take the risk of opening up if you want any chance at all of creating a meaningful connection with the other person.

2) How long should you talk to someone before dating them?

Or, in other words, how long should the talking stage last? To answer this question we have to remind ourselves of what we should achieve during the talking stage.

The talking stage of a relationship is the most important stage. It is where you get to know and understand your potential partner. This is the time when you can ask questions that are difficult to answer in other stages of the relationship. You can tell your partner what you really want, need, and even expect from a partner, and see if they’re down for the challenge. They should do the same for you too.

It’s also a time when couples come to know each other better and make sure they’re on the same page with their expectations, values, priorities, life philosophies, beliefs, etc.

This is how the talking stage should last for however long it will take the people involved to get all their important questions answered and to decide to proceed to the next stage which is dating. Because we’re all different and move at different paces in relationships, the period of time that the talking stage will last will vary from one couple to another.

It is important nonetheless that you take your time and don’t fall into the trap of moving fast in a relationship. Check this article out on why relationships that move fast, fail inevitably.

1- How to stop overthinking in the talking stage?

If you overthink and worry about what to say next during the talking stage, then you might miss the entire point of it. You’ll never be able to have your questions answered nor will you have a fair chance at knowing well who your potential partner could be.

If you always worry about what you should say next, silly trivial things, or how well the conversation is going then you already got distracted from what you should be focused on and namely; your future partner!

If you overthink because you have trust issues and cannot believe a word the other person says, then you may want to work on that before you put yourself out there. In the end, check our article out on how to stop overthinking in a relationship, if it helps.

2- How to get out of the talking stage:

The best way to get out of the talking stage is to be more flirty and open, but most importantly to have exhausted all the possible questions and things you’d want to know about your potential partner.

So if you feel ready to move to the next stage or if you’re looking for a first date, you can start dropping hints about what you want. You can start implying that it will be better to transition now to get to know each other in real-life settings and in person.

More often than not, once you start going out with one another and going on dates, the conversations naturally take a more serious tone. You start discussing what you want from a partner more blatantly and with the assumption that they’re gonna become your significant other soon.

It is important not to get physical during any of these two stages if you want to avoid confusion or falling into a situationship. In this case, make it clear that you only make a physical connection once the other person is committed enough to you, for it all to be more meaningful and pleasurable.

3) The difference between talking vs dating vs relationship:

The talking stage of a relationship is the stage where you are both trying to get to know each other. It is the time when you both want to talk about your past and what you want for your future. The talking stage is important because it helps you understand if you are compatible with your partner or not.

Dating on the other hand is the stage or level that you upgrade to if both you and the person you were talking to find that you’re compatible and attracted to one another on many levels. This stage consists of meeting more often to go on dates and spending more time with each other. You can then explore your date’s thinking, personality, and character in different real-life settings and situations.

The third and final stage when you go through a successful talking stage and successful dating stage is to start a relationship. During this phase, both people are committed to one another. They play the role of a significant other in each other’s lives and have a meaningful deeper connection emotionally, mentally, intellectually, and physically.

Check out this article on what exactly is the role of a significant other in our life. Or, this one on what does the role of a husband consist of, for more details.

– Can you kiss during the talking stage?

It is up to you to kiss someone before they’re even officially dating you if that’s what you feel like doing. However, keep in mind that setting standards when dating or in a relationship before getting physical in any way is key. Check this article out on how accepting the bare minimum when dating is never a good idea!

So if you kiss the other person before even having decided if they’re compatible with you or fit enough to date you, it could send the wrong message. Also, it’s not is not a good idea to kiss during the talking stage because the physical attraction will distract you from your goal of focusing on establishing an emotional and intellectual connection first.

4) 4 green flags during the talking stage:

Here are 4 good signs to be able to tell if the talking stage is going great and if there’s a high chance that the two of you will date then become an item soon:

1- You never run out of things to talk about:

Some couples may find that they can’t find anything to talk about during the talking stage of their relationship, which can lead to an unhealthy relationship. On the other hand, some couples may find that they have so much in common and so much to talk about, that they could never get enough of each other’s company. And, that’s a good sign!

2- You’re enjoying the process:

Another sign that the talking stage is going great is when you and your partner are having a good time getting to know each other. None of it feels like a chore and you feel impatient, restless, and excited to get on the phone with them. You can’t get enough of them and enjoy laughing, talking, and just listening to their voice. They will show clear signs that they feel the same about you too and that would feel amazing!

3- You catch yourself thinking about something they said and smiling:

A sign that the talking stage is going great is when you think about something they said and smile. This is a sign that the person has been successful in making you feel comfortable and at ease. It means that there’s something about the way they think, their humor, or the stories they tell that mesmerizes you. If you never get bored listening to them and if they have your undivided full attention even after hours and hours of talking on the phone or texting then it is a good sign!

4- You have no interest in getting to know others at the same time:

A final sign that the talking stage is going great is when you are not interested in talking to others. There’s not one soul or person capable of shifting your focus from the person you’re talking to or compete with them. You already start feeling compatible with them and are solely focused on getting to know them more!

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