There’s, unfortunately, no way around it: If a man wants to keep you around but doesn’t want a relationship, then he most definitely is bad news!
Many women find themselves in this situation. They’re not really in a relationship but consider themselves taken or “off-market” when the man in question persists that he doesn’t want a relationship “yet”. It is tragic and inevitably leads to a lot of heartaches, especially on the woman’s part in a heterosexual relationship.
That’s why if you’re in a situation like this or similar to this, we’re here today to clarify why you shouldn’t accept it on yourself. Regardless of how much you like someone and how much love blinds you from seeing someone’s truth, you have to stop and face a few harsh facts.
When someone won’t commit and keep creating new excuses as to why the present moment is never a good time to start a relationship with you, then you have to consider the reasons listed below as the true motive for this behavior.
Why does he keep me around if he doesn’t want a relationship?
1- He doesn’t think you’re worthy of a relationship:
If you’re sitting around waiting on someone to man up, claim you publicly or start a relationship with you then that person probably doesn’t think you are worthy. The mere fact that anyone would make you wait for any reason when you’re ready and available, should tell you that they couldn’t care less about you.
This person doesn’t consider the fact that you may get taken by someone else or have your head turned away from them and by a new prospect, that’s because they deem you not worthy of commitment in the first place. The only reason why anyone would be so calm while someone they’re interested in, to some extent is single, is if they think it will be hard for that person to find anyone who will take them seriously.
In other words, he doesn’t take you seriously and he will even be surprised if someone else did. Check this article out on a few signs that a man doesn’t take you seriously. He thinks you’re good enough to talk to, flirt with even, entertain but most definitely not good enough to deserve exclusive dating, a vow, commitment, or a relationship.
And, it can be difficult to figure out how to get a man like this to change his mind unless you prove him wrong. So try to find someone new and better than him if possible. Someone that commits to you alone and claims you publicly. Once you do, it won’t be hard for you to forget about that silly fool and move on with your new relationship.
2- He thinks he can get anything he wants from you, without commitment anyway:
If he’s already getting everything he could get from you if he was in a relationship with you, and without having to go through the hassle of committing then why would he commit? What’s in it for him?
Even if the man loved you to some extent and even if he really really likes you, why would he make such an illogical deal like asking you to become his officially when you’re already just that and in exchange for nothing?
Men are not as emotional as women are. They are capable of love obviously and can die for it, but they will be reluctant to make such an unintelligent deal. If you gave in so easily anyway, without a chase, without showing standards, without expectations, and without any demands such as commitment then where’s the thrill or challenge in any of it?
Men by nature like to be challenged and wrestled with mentally before they fixate on you, fall for you deeper, and want to commit. So, if you’ve been treated like a friend rather than a partner, become a friend and only offer what a good friend offers: friendship! Unless he wants to turn the friendship into a committed romantic relationship.
You can later check this article out on how you can try and get a man to commit. However, keep in mind that you’re precious and should be treasured, so a man that didn’t see your value from the start might just not be the one!
3- He wants to leave his options open:
If you are dating a guy who doesn’t want to commit, you might be wondering what his intentions are. If he’s not interested in a relationship, but he still wants to stay and be around you, it most definitely is because he wants to keep his options open.
He wants to have his cake and eat it. Any other excuse he uses or any other possible reason as to why he cannot start a relationship with you could also apply, but keep in mind that wanting to leave his options open is definitely true as well.
It can be difficult to have a relationship with someone like this anyways. That’s because it’s hard to be in an emotionally healthy relationship when one person is not content with the other and wants to keep an eye out.
In this case, unfortunately, and with this type of man, any type of good-looking or charming person they come across could represent a threat to your relationship. So it is indeed better to run for your life rather than try to force someone like this into a relationship anyway. Be grateful they have warned you and indirectly told you who they are so thank your lucky stars that they told you not to expect much and run!
4- He is scared of commitment:
The fear of commitment is a common issue for many people. It’s not always easy to keep trying to get someone to commit to a relationship when you know that they have commitment issues. Especially when you consider that they might eventually leave either way and because of the same issues.
The key thing here is, to be honest with yourself and that person and let them know what you’re feeling without being afraid of rejection. If they want to stay with you, then clarify that they’ll have to overcome their fear of commitment and grow out of it. You don’t have to be nice about it, and even if it’s not their fault in this scenario that they suffer from something like this.
That’s because it is not your fault either and you shouldn’t be paying the price for their issues by sitting around and waiting forever for them to commit. So have a kind and calm conversation with them, where you start by showing compassion for their issues and whatever triggered them.
Then, do not fail to explain your expectations and demands still and clarify that you will not be sitting on a rock for months and years waiting for them to heal and finally get over it. Check this article out on why you should never accept the bare minimum when dating or in a relationship, as it will only backfire on you in the end!
5- He doesn’t want to be fully alone while single:
The human need for companionship is one of the most basic needs that humans have. This need has evolved over time and has been met by different means, such as through friendships, family ties, or romantic relationships. An important aspect of human companionship is maintaining a sense of closeness or intimacy with others.
In this case, he might just be keeping you around because he doesn’t want to be lonely. He likes your company enough to choose it over loneliness, but he doesn’t like it enough to commit or start a relationship with you.
This is clearly not ideal or good enough for you to accept if he secretly only keeps you around because he doesn’t want to be lonely while he’s single. In the end, if you’re not convinced you can check this article out on the reasons why you must walk away when a man doesn’t commit!