Getting hurt by someone you love and trust is never a good time and never will be. People make mistakes and it’s difficult to navigate the pain that comes with that. You feel hurt, angry, betrayed, and so many other things at once. So, what can you do?
Today, we will discuss 5 things to do if someone you love hurts you deeply. We will provide a few tips to help you navigate this issue a lot more effectively.
There’s no magic formula we can provide to make you feel instantly better, but thinking about these things will make a difference in the situation.
5 Things to Do If Someone You Love Hurts You Deeply:
1- Try to understand their actions:
Once you’ve gotten a bit of a hold on your initial feelings, you should try to understand why they did what they did. At first, your feelings will be too intense to allow you to see their side of things. However, you must do it. The point of this is not to make excuses for them, but rather to see where they’re coming from.
When people make a big mistake and they hurt you, there’s usually something behind it. Perhaps they had a moment of weakness, or couldn’t control their emotions or impulses, or their judgment was impaired due to stress or substances, etc., or anything else. It’s important to get this insight because it will help you understand it’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything to deserve it.
2- Accept what happened:
Once you understand why they did what they did, you can start working on accepting what happened. When someone you love hurts you deeply, it can be a huge hit to your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence. You may feel angry, embarrassed, and many other awful emotions that drain your energy. Focusing too much on what happened and the hurt will not serve you.
Dealing with your emotions is a must, which is why you have to accept what happened and how it made you feel. You need to feel your feelings so you can eventually let go instead of holding onto them. This will keep you from doing something you regret, like lowering to the other person’s level or seeking ways to hurt them back. That’s not productive for anyone, especially not you.
3- Think about what you want to do moving forward:
When you feel more emotionally stable, it’s important to think about what you want to do moving forward. Do you want to try and rebuild the relationship or are you ready to let it go? Either way, forgiveness is a huge part of that. Many people believe that forgiving someone for hurting them excuses that person.
However, that’s not true. Forgiveness is not about giving the other a free pass or peace of mind, is about allowing yourself to heal. Healing is impossible if you’re holding onto a grudge and you’re unwilling to let go. Check this article out on how to forgive, forget and move on.
Forgiveness will free you to move on, whether you want to keep that person in your life or not. So, it’s about you, not them.
4- Have an honest conversation:
After you’ve processed your thoughts and feelings, and made a decision about what you want to do next, it’s time to have an honest conversation with the person who hurt you. In this conversation, you should explain how they made you feel, how affected you are by their actions, and what you want to do.
It’s also the opportunity to be clear about what you expect from them going forward. Keep your vocabulary neutral and try not to make accusations. Otherwise, the conversation won’t go anywhere. Once you’ve said your piece, give the other person the space to do the same.
5- Don’t let this take away from your happiness:
When a person you love hurts you deeply, it can change you. However, you need to understand that you are in control of your response and what you do with the pain. You can either let it affect your entire life or you can feel it, observe it, and let it go.
Whatever happened doesn’t have to take away from your happiness. It also doesn’t have to turn you into someone you’re not. Don’t give their actions all your power. Learn from this and do everything you can to come out stronger on the other end. No one can make your life miserable if you don’t let them.
Being deeply hurt by a person you love so much can be extremely difficult to handle. Especially, if the possibility of this person hurting you had never crossed your mind before.
What you do in this situation and how you handle it will make a huge difference in your life, so we hope today’s tips can help you do what’s right for you.