What to do when being fooled by someone you love?

fooled by someone you love

Love is a powerful emotion. It can make us do things we never thought possible. We might even be fooled by someone we love and not even realize it until it’s too late.

It is hard to believe that we can be fooled by someone we love. We think that they are our trusted loved ones and they will never hurt us. However, this is not always the case. Sometimes, people who we love and trust the most, betray us in the worst ways possible. And, when this happens we have to be ready and know what to do about it!

How to act when being fooled by someone you love:

1- You don’t have to tolerate it:

While this may sound obvious at first, is it that straightforward when we apply it to reality? The reason why many people put up with the lies and cheating of a partner is that they have the mentality that, when you are in a relationship, you have to accept your partner’s flaws so that you can love them as a whole.

While it is true that it is important to acknowledge a partner’s flaws, it doesn’t mean that you have to accept them. Check this article out for a list of dealbreakers and flaws that cannot be tolerated in a relationship or dating. If their flaws consist of not cleaning the dishes straight away after eating or forgetting to tell you that there’s no more milk in the fridge, that’s fine.

But, if your partner’s flaws have a toxic nature, that’s not something you need to accept and put up with. Lying and manipulating are not acceptable in a healthy relationship, so you don’t have to tolerate them.

Another reason why you don’t have to tolerate being fooled by your partner is the consequences it brings to your mental and even physical health. You could develop anxiety or even depression because you are being lied to and don’t feel that you can trust that person anymore.

You can also experience unnecessary high levels of stress that will disrupt your sleep schedule or your eating habits and eventually affect your work life and your relationships with your friends and family members.

2- Don’t turn a blind eye but confront your partner:

At first, your partner may be extremely careful when they lie to you. They spend a long time elaborating credible stories that you can believe in. But, when they see that you don’t suspect anything or are trying to avoid facing the fact that something is dodgy, it’s normal for your partner to become more careless.

There may even come a time when your partner is almost sure you know they are lying to you, but since you haven’t done anything they will keep doing it and put less effort into hiding their mistakes each time.

If, by avoiding the fact that your partner is fooling you; you hope to preserve the relationship, think again. Whether you like it or not, you care a great deal that your partner is lying to you. At first, you might have been hurt, but now that they keep doing it you may have started to develop other negative feelings.

You are likely to become frustrated and angry at them, not that it’s not justified, but the fact that you never confronted them makes it impossible to explain why you are suddenly harsh with them. If you don’t solve things, one way or another, your partner will see fewer reasons why they should be with you, and your relationship will come to a bitter end.

It’s important to confront your partner the minute you find out they lied or cheated. Even if you are someone who believes that a relationship can’t be saved after experiencing a betrayal, it’s always better to go your separate ways on good terms. For that, you need to tell your partner exactly what you know, and if they try to manipulate you into thinking that it was all your imagination; tell them that you are not interested in their excuses and that facts are enough for you. 

This is the time to be assertive and tell them what you want to change in the relationship or if you no longer wish to be in it. This way, you will act accordingly to your feelings and end up choosing what’s best for you.

3- Talk to someone:

Even if your partner is not trying to manipulate you to escape your inquires, it’s easy to get paranoid on your own when you have many suspicions and doubts. It’s always good to find someone to talk to about it because they can offer the perspective of an outsider.

If you need reassurance about the way you are acting, a friend or a family member might be the right person to tell you that you are not going crazy. You can ask what they would do if they were in your situation and you are likely to receive an honest answer from a close trusted friend or a family member who only cares about your well-being. 

If you feel like your mental health has been hindered because of the entire situation and you are in no way near solving things, consider seeing a psychologist. Not only will they be able to see if you need treatment for the anxiety you might feel, but they will give the best advice that concerns your well-being. 

It’s also a great option if you’re not feeling ready to tell this to someone in your life. This way, you will not experience any possible judgment or even face opinions that you should keep fighting for your relationship when what you want is to be away from your partner. If your partner or someone you love has hurt you deeply, then consider checking this article out too.

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