Everyone has that one friend who is just a little too possessive. Possessiveness can be destructive to relationships, so it’s important to address it early on.
Does your friend always want to know where you are and who you’re with? Do they get jealous easily or try to control how you spend your time? If so, they may be possessive.
If you need more signs of possessive friends or you’re not sure if one of your friends falls into this category, here are some signs to look for.
Possessive friends signs:
1- They try to isolate you from others:
One sign of a possessive friend is if they try to isolate you from other people in your life. This could mean convincing you to ditch plans with your other friends or discouraging you from meeting new people.
A possessive friend will try to isolate you from others, at any cost and without seeming so obvious. They may try to keep you away from anyone else out of fear that you start enjoying someone else’s company more than theirs.
They will get jealous if you do any of the activities that you enjoy like shopping or playing sports with someone other than them. They may also try to control who you spend time with altogether and even want to know what you do.
2- They try to make you doubt yourself:
A possessive friend may also try to make you feel like you’re not good enough for anyone else and that you’re lucky that they’re even accepting of you. This is a horrible tactic to discourage you from seeking someone else’s close friendship or company. In other words, they try to make you doubt yourself and your worth.
They want to drill it in your head that no one else would want to be friends with you or that you’re too weird or quirky to be compatible with anyone other than them. If you have a friend who is possessive, and who’s evil enough to make you feel this way then it’s important to set boundaries and stick to them.
Let your friend know that you’re not going to tolerate being treated this way. If they don’t respect your boundaries, then it may be time to end the friendship.
3- They hate it when you start dating someone new:
One of the most obvious signs that you have a possessive friend is they always hate it when you get in a relationship or date someone new. It could be out of jealousy too, but more often than not it’s just them worrying about not being able to spend as much time with you as they did before.
They will give you a hard time about it, try to talk you out of it, and they may even get a little too jealous and want to make your date look like a nightmare. They will only have bad things to say about whoever it is your date or start seeing.
And, if you make the mistake of telling them about a slip-off that your new date made then they’re gonna make a joke of that person to a point where you can never take them seriously anyway.
If you feel like you can’t do anything without your friend’s approval including dating someone new or literally trying to find a life partner to spend the rest of your life with, then that’s another sign that they’re possessive.
4- They get very mad if you do something new or exciting without them:
Possessive friends will often try to make you feel guilty for spending time away from them or if you do something without them. If your friend is always making you feel guilty for doing things without them, then that’s a huge red flag.
In fact, a big and certain sign that you might be in a possessive friendship is if they hate it whenever you do something without them and if they give you a hard time every time for it. They probably feel entitled to be the center of your world and they get really upset if they feel like they’re not.
Usually, this kind of behavior stems from low self-esteem and insecurity, so they try to control you in order to feel better about themselves. While it’s natural for friends to want to spend time together, it shouldn’t be at the expense of your independence.
If you have a friend who is exhibiting this type of behavior then they might be possessive. While it’s not always a bad thing to have a close friend, it’s important to be aware of the line between healthy closeness and possessiveness.
If you feel like your friend is crossing the line into possessiveness, it might be time to have a talk with them about it. However, keep in mind that the only thing worse than a possessive friend is a territorial partner, so check this article out to be sure you don’t miss the signs; if your significant other is.
If you catch yourself secretly enjoying this type of behavior and possessiveness being exercised on you or find it flattering; then you might want to get that checked by reading our article on reasons why you might secretly like possessive guys (and why it’s unhealthy!).