When you’ve been in a relationship for years, ending it can be one of the most difficult decisions. There’s a lot of history there, so breaking up will require you both to go through challenging struggles and difficult emotions. Even though the relationship has come to an end for you, you still care about your soon-to-be ex-partner, so you want to do this right.
However, breakups are not easy and there’s no manual you can follow to let the other person down easy. It will be painful, so the least you can do is go about it with respect and maturity.
That’s why you should consider a few things before ending your long-term relationship. Doing this will prepare you and help you make the right decision.
Things to consider when ending a long-term relationship:
1- Your mental health:
Ending a long-term relationship can be extremely difficult on an emotional level. Both of you may feel like, despite your best efforts, you failed at something that mattered to you. There’s also a lot of fear involved; fear of being alone or never finding someone else who will love you for who you are.
There are many intense emotions involved, so it’s important to communicate through this process. Take care of each other’s mental health as much as possible. If things get out of control or you don’t feel like you can handle the breakup on your own, you must seek professional help.
2- Communicate well:
Before you end the relationship, make sure you talk about your thoughts and feelings. This is not something you should just spring on your partner. Never assume that they know that you’re not on the same page as them anymore.
No one can read your mind, so make sure you communicate verbally, calmly, and be clear about what’s going on and let them in on your perception of things.
The more open you are, the easier it will be to come to terms with the end of the relationship. Don’t bottle anything up, just be open and honest. You should explain to your partner why you’ve come to this decision and the things that have led you to this point. This is how you’ll come to a mutual agreement, however painful it may be.
3- Take your time:
Rushing through a breakup is the worst thing you can do. Not only for yourself but also for your long-term partner. You have to give yourself the time to grieve the relationship and feel all the emotions that come with it. Your partner should have the same space.
It’s okay to miss certain things, but if this relationship is no longer working for you, you owe it to yourself to move on. Moving on is a process, though, so you have to make sure you’re aware of that. And, if you’re not sure how you can go through a breakup healthily and the right way then you can check this article out later.
Letting your partner know is just the beginning. After that, you have to learn to live without this person. Adjusting will be difficult and you will be sad, but it’s all start with saying a proper goodbye now during this part; so you can welcome something new later. Closing this chapter the right way will make it easier to open a healthier and happier one when you’re ready.
4- Get clarity:
Before you do anything, you need to make sure your decision is final. If you believe that there’s a chance you can work things out with your partner, it’s worth a try.
If you’ve already been trying your best and nothing has changed or if you don’t think there’s any turning back from this point, you need to make sure you’re okay with how permanent this decision is.
Ending your long-term relationship is not something you should do just because you’re having a bad day. Or because you’re having doubts or needing space. In fact, think about checking this article out later on how to go about needing more space in your relationship if that’s an issue.
Realistically, you might regret the decision if it was something you thought of in the heat of the moment. Usually, breaking up is the very last option and it’s not a decision to make lightly.
5- Make sure you’re ready:
Breaking up with a long-term partner is not just about letting them down easily. There are many other factors involved. If you live together, you have to be ready to move out. If you’ve been combining your finances, you need to make sure your finances are in order and determine if you can support yourself on your own.
You also have to think about how the breakup will affect family and friends. Also, if you have children or if you’re married, you have to figure out how that’s going to work.
If you share pets, you need to make some tough decisions about who’s going to keep the pets, etc. You need to be ready for all of this before you set things in motion.
Whether you’re breaking up because you’ve grown apart or because you have no future together or for any other reason, you need to be respectful and mature about it.
Being callous or cruel is not fair, so you have to be sensitive and navigate the breakup with as much tact as possible!