How to avoid falling in love with a jerk?

how to avoid falling in love with a jerk

So, you have just met a guy and you are falling in love with him. You think the world of this guy, and you are not sure why. It seems like he is perfect for you. He is handsome, charming, intelligent, and just the right amount of mystery to make him interesting.

The problem is that he has a dark side that he keeps hidden from the world; a manipulative side that will lead to heartbreak if you’re not careful. He might be great on the outside but he’s not all that great on the inside; so how do you avoid falling in love with a jerk?

There’s some temptation there:

We have been socialised to believe that we can change people, that they will change and become more loving. The reality is that it is difficult to resist the temptation of falling in love with someone who has a bad attitude and is a womaniser.

There may be many tell-tale signs from the beginning however we make the same repeated mistakes of overlooking these harmful signs and giving these men the benefit of the doubt. In the long run, this leads to further heartbreak. In this article, we will provide you with 5 key ways on how to avoid falling in love with a jerk?

How to avoid falling in love with a jerk or a bad person (again)?


1. Be able to recognise your enemy:


It’s impossible to avoid falling in love with a jerk, without first recognising the qualities of a jerk and how to identify one. Jerks are people who have a certain set of traits and qualities that make them stand out from the rest. They can be easily recognised by their bad manners, rude comments, and insensitive behaviour.

They may have a tendency to be overly aggressive when they want something from you or when they don’t get their way. They also tend to make assumptions about people without getting the facts first. One of the common qualities is that they do not care about the feelings of others. This is why they often act in ways that are inappropriate or offensive to other people.

They often lack empathy because they don’t care about what others want or need. These individuals will always remain selfish and constantly put their needs above your own. They are not responsible or mature enough to know how to treat a gem like yourself.

These individuals eventually end up alone and full of regret in their old age. As their partners tend to see through their ugly attitudes and eventually run for their lives and escape from them.


2. Create personal boundaries:


We’re all familiar with the feeling of being in love, but what happens when you fall in love with a jerk? You start to feel guilty for saying no, and that guilt is what keeps you stuck in the relationship. How can you avoid falling into the same trap?

By creating personal boundaries and knowing your worth. It is important to learn how to say no without feeling guilty so that you can avoid falling in love with a jerk in the future. Here are some tips:


– Don’t be afraid of saying no, not everyone will like what you have to say.
– Be polite about it, for example, if someone asks for your opinion on something, make sure they know it’s just an opinion and not necessarily an unbendable conviction.
– If someone tries to pressure you into doing something, don’t let them: they might be trying to get more than what they deserve from the relationship.


Sometimes, we get so caught up in the moment that we forget to take a step back and think about our feelings. It is important to remember that it is okay to feel happy, sad, angry or any other emotions. Sometimes you need a moment to look at the bigger picture and analyse things without feeling suffocated.

Jerks will usually use methods to imply and make you feel like you are nothing without them or that life would be unbearable without them. They try to enforce this dependency on you where you feel there is a necessity to your life. In reality, the opposite is usually true. It is in fact them who are afraid of being alone and project their fears and insecurities onto you.

They attempt to suffocate you and cloud your judgement without giving you time and space to think about things rationally as they are afraid if you truly create these personal boundaries, you will finally open your eyes and no longer remain a victim to their games and awful behaviour. Check this article out later on the importance of boundaries in relationships.


3. Respect yourself:


Sometimes, people fall in love with people that are not worth it. This is because they have low self-esteem and believe that the person will change for them. In order to avoid falling in love with a jerk, you need to respect yourself and know your value so they can respect you.

You should also make sure you never accept the bare minimum and that the person respects you from the start and puts effort into making you happy. They should never take advantage of your kindness. It’s crucial to know your worth and what you deserve so that you can keep yourself safe. What are some ways we can ensure that the person we are dating respects us?


– Be your best self: This will help ensure they see the value in who and what you are.
– Don’t put yourself down: You should avoid putting yourself down because this will send a signal that you don’t think highly of yourself and this can be misconstrued as being desperate or needy.
– Don’t give up too easily on things: It is important not to give up on relationships too easily because this sends a signal that we are giving up on ourselves which can be seen as weakness.


The most important thing to remember is that the person you’re dating has the power to make or break your self-esteem. If they don’t respect you, it’s unlikely that they will respect your needs when it comes to intimacy, money, friendships or even your future together.


4. Don’t let them manipulate you emotionally:


If you are in a relationship with someone who has been emotionally abusive and manipulative, it is important that you learn to recognise their tactics and not fall for them. Some people have the tendency to fall in love with a jerk because they are so used to being treated badly by those around them. They often try to change their behaviour to be more like the person they’re with or love.

However, this does not work because the person treating them poorly will see through their efforts to become another version of them rather than impose themselves. this way the abuser will continue treating them as poorly as before. A woman should not let her emotions get the best of her and allow herself to be isolated from friends and family because she is in love with a jerk.

She should also not let herself get caught up in the person’s manipulative ways. This is a common trait of a jerk who uses social isolation to control and manipulate you into being stuck in that same toxic relationship and not progress. They are cruelly aware that if you were to open up to friends or family about your situation then you would wake up and realise your true worth and the injustice that was being done to you.

These are common signs where you can recognise a manipulative jerk:
– You find yourself constantly feeling sorry for the person and the things they do.
– He doesn’t want to communicate with you or talk about feelings and says that it’s not important.
– He wants things without giving anything back.
– He uses your emotions to get what he wants.


5. Don’t open your heart too quick:


When you start dating someone new, it is very easy to fall in love with them. You start liking everything about them and giving them the benefit of the doubt. But if you do this with the wrong person, you will soon be disappointed. So, how can you avoid falling for a jerk?

One way is to take your time initially and allow them to gain your trust before pouring your heart out and making yourself vulnerable from the start. It is important to take your time when it comes to dating someone new or going on a first date with someone that you are not sure about; because it’s easy to get too emotionally invested too quickly.

Also, if you meet the wrong person, you can be taken advantage of and your feelings could end up getting really hurt. Remember, not everyone is the same as they were at the start of the relationship. Most individuals put on their best performance during the initial stages, it is only after a while you end up seeing someone’s true colours and intentions.

So, take your time. Don’t forget, it’s you who is the prize, realise your worth and make him work for it a little bit to see if he really cares and appreciates you and will be there by your side when things get tough.


The Bottom Line:


Love is one of the most powerful feelings in the world. It can make you feel alive, loved and happy. But it can also make you feel insecure, anxious and miserable. We all deserve the respect to be cared and loved for in the same way we have decided to give our hearts away to someone.

Our feelings and emotions are precious to us. It is particularly important the person we chose to share our love with, takes good care of us and reciprocates our love and affection back. Finally, we recommend when you meet someone who is a jerk and you recognise that they are then stay far away and run. Don’t try to be a hero or to change them in any way.

Yes, the initial period can seem exciting, however, the biggest joy is in the long-term pursuit and consistency. And it will be strongly outweighed by the emotional and mental heartbreak there is to suffer in the long run.

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