Most people think that the hardest part of dating is finding someone with whom to go out on a date. However, as ironic as that may seem, that’s the easy part. The hardest thing about dating is to figure out what stage you’re on and when things get serious or plainer.
Yes, being yourself and showing your best traits is important to interest the other person, but it’s also important finding common ground between both of you. If you wish to turn your dates into relationships, you will have to put some effort to guarantee that happens.
To help you with that, we recommend having in mind the bases of dating as opposed to the bases of a relationship, these are the stages you’re supposed to go through when dating to even establish if things have the potential to develop into something more.
So what are the bases of dating or the 4 stages of forming a true connection:
1. Establish a physical attraction:
What comes to mind when people are asked to think of the most impactful difference between a romantic relationship and a relationship simply based on friendship is the level of physical attraction. We are all aware that we are far more physically attracted to someone we view as a potential romantic partner than we would be to someone we consider a mere friend.
So, if you want to make sure that your connection turns into a deeper and more romantic love story, you will need to establish mutual physical attraction.
This means that you will have to feel physically attracted to some extent to that person and make sure that person feels attracted to you as well. It’s true that you can also do without physical attraction as times as you can see in this article, if you want to check it out later. However, physical attraction can do wonders and make you ache and long for physical touch which forms something we call chemistry and intensifies passion.
Touching or brushing the other person’s arm when you want to show empathy or even hugging them can be exciting and even electrocuting; when there’s a strong physical attraction but no physical intimacy yet. This means that this can intensify the dating stage and help things move into something quicker if you find the other person irresistibly attractive.
Body language and direct eye contact are other things you can use to your advantage to show that you are physically attracted to that person and make them feel physically attracted to you too. Turn your whole body, if possible, in their direction to show how interested you are in them and look them in the eye, but don’t make them uncomfortable either. If done correctly, this will show that they are the only person you care about at that moment and are fully focused on.
2. Checking if your personalities are compatible:
People say that opposites attract each other, and while there may be some truth in that, you both need to be aligned in some core aspects of life. Introverts and extroverts date each other successfully all the time, so if you realize that you have different personalities on this level, don’t interpret it as a sign not to pursue the relationship.
Whether one of you feels more comfortable surrounded by many people or the other feel more comfortable in silence, you need to be able to enjoy doing many things together. You don’t have to do everything together, but you must enjoy spending time together in different scenarios to make the relationship go forward.
You also need to agree with how you deal with different situations, as that reflects your core values and your life philosophy and thinking. If you do agree for the most part about how to deal with different situations that life throws at you while dating, then little different preferences won’t harm your relationship. In fact, they’ll just balance it more if anything.
3. Check if your goals, priorities, and beliefs in life align:
Relationships last if you both steer in the same direction. Yes, it’s alright to have your personal goals to achieve in life, but your goals regarding a relationship should meet common ground. You both need to find a balance between what you want as an individual and what you want in a relationship.
For that, you need to discuss your overall beliefs in life and what your priorities are. If you wish for a relationship to eventually end up in marriage, that’s an important thing to talk about. If one of you wishes to move to another country at a certain point in life, you need to figure out if the other person is willing to move as well or not. If one person thinks they’d rather never have kids then the other person should share the same convictions.
Whether you are a religious person or not, you have certain beliefs about how life should be, and at one point of dating, you should be able to discuss how much you care about these. Even though we change our minds all the time, our core beliefs are very hard to change, and if they aren’t compatible with the other person’s beliefs, the relationship will face many obstacles.
4. Stating what are your expectations and boundaries will be:
The belief that you shouldn’t settle for anything less than what you want is true in most situations. Both you and the person you’re dating have created expectations of a romantic relationship for years before you met. It’s important to talk about your ideas of what a romantic relationship should be. You should also talk about what you consider cheating and what your boundaries or even dealbreakers and non-negotiables are.
After that talk, if you both are willing to meet each other’s expectations of what a romantic relationship should be, and sometimes compromise without feeling that you are missing out, then congrats you would’ve passed all the stages of dating. And, this means you will have a lot of potential to make your relationship last a long time.