No one deserves to be belittled, least of all by the person they love. If your husband regularly makes cutting remarks that leave you feeling small and worthless, it’s time to take action.
In fact, if your spouse regularly belittles you, it can take a toll on your self-esteem and your relationship if you don’t act to change it urgently. So make sure you follow the steps listed below to put an end to this behavior.
And, in the meantime spend time with friends and family who make you feel good about yourself, and pursue hobbies and activities that make you happy. Always remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and if your husband can’t give you that even after you try all the steps below, then you may be better off without him.
Steps to follow if your husband belittles you:
1- Get him to understand you either with communication or external help :
The first step is to talk to him about how his words make you feel. It’s important to do this in a calm and collected manner, as getting angry will only lead to an argument. If he’s unwilling to listen or try to understand your perspective, then it may be necessary to seek relationship counseling.
This can provide you with the support and tools you need to either improve your relationship or safely leave it behind. Whatever you decide, remember that you deserve to be treated with respect.
In the end what matters when approaching this is that you first try to have a conversation with your husband about how his words are making you feel. If he’s open to listening, he might start realizing how hurtful his words can be and it will take him some time to internalize it and stop doing it. But, if he’s not receptive to this kind of discussion, then again; you might need to consider getting outside help from a counselor or therapist. This is a big decision, but it could be what’s necessary to improve your relationship.
You can consider seeking counseling or therapy, either as a couple or on your own. This can help you to explore the root causes of the problem and find ways to address the source cause of this type of behavior.
2- Keep in mind he might not mean it:
It can be really hurtful and frustrating when your husband belittles you. You might feel like you can’t do anything right, and like he’s always putting you down. And, you might try doubting yourself or see your self-esteem crumble over the months and years you spend tolerating this behavior.
So it’s important to remember that this type of behavior says nothing at all about you. If anything, it simply says a lot about your husband. It is clearly a flaw in his character and if you two have a good relationship outside of this annoying and occasional treatment; then he might not mean it. In this case, he probably has a lot of love for you and just cannot get himself to correct such an awful and toxic flaw he has.
However, if you two are not on good terms and if he always targets you with negative and abusive attacks then it might be time to put an end to the entire relationship. Whatever you decide to do, don’t let your husband’s belittling words define who you are. You’re much more than that, and you deserve to be treated with respect.
3- Demand respect and set boundaries:
If your husband belittles you, it can be tough to know how to respond and fix the situation. However, before you get too affected by his mean words, remember your worth and use all of your self-confidence to stand up for yourself.
It’s important to demand respect from your partner, and to set boundaries around what is and is not acceptable behavior. If your husband regularly puts you down, make it clear that this is not okay and that you refuse to be treated in such a way for life. Make him understand and believe that you will have to take yourself away from such treatment by finding a permanent solution that will come as a shock to him.
Learn to put your foot down in your marriage and to demand assertively respect. It’s important that you do all while reminding him that you’re his equal, if not a lot more superior than him in maturity and wisdom; at least. Tell him that his words are hurtful and that you will not tolerate being treated this way forever and ever. Let him know that you might choose yourself and take yourself away from his abuse to find peace of mind and only be where you’ll be valued and appreciated.
4- Remind him of his own flaws, if necessary:
We’re not saying you should give him a taste of his own medicine, but if your husband is belittling him then it might be right to emphasize and tell him all about his flaws. By emphasizing his flaws and telling him without being worried about hurting his feelings, you might just open his eyes to the fact that he’s not perfect himself.
And whether he believes that what he accuses you of is true or not; it will show him that you also have horrible things you could say about him all day but you choose not to because you’re kinder and wiser. It might hurt him but eventually, you can apologize for saying such horrid things later and explain to him that the only reason why you never do that usually is because you don’t want to hurt his feelings.
However, as he clearly continues to belittle you every time you felt it necessary to defend yourself but don’t want to have to do it every time and make the marriage toxic and unbearable. This might just be the wake-up call he needs to let you off the hook and stop abusing you repetitively. but keep in mind, it might backfire too depending on his personality so be prepared for the worst!