It can be really sad when you realize that you only seem to attract jealous friends. Envy is such a destructive emotion, and it can really tear people apart. If you’re constantly surrounded by people who are jealous of you, it can be hard to enjoy life without feeling sad, guilty, or frustrated.
You might start to feel like you can’t trust anyone, and that everyone is out to get you. Jealousy is usually based on insecurity, so try to surround yourself with people who are confident and secure in themselves. These types of people will be more likely to celebrate your success instead of envying it.
However, until then here are a few reasons why you might be attracting jealous friends.
This is why you only attract jealous friends:
1- You make your life out to be worse than it is:
Insecure bitter people will analyze and hear what you have to say carefully before they decide to befriend you and become close to you. So if you’re complaining or if you initially make it sound like your life is less than perfect, then you might be attracting bitter and spiteful people that only want to get close to you to put a magnifying lens on your problems and feel better about their own selves and lives.
However, if they get close enough to you and find out that they have sort of been lied to or deceived and that your situation is far better than what you made it sound, they might get jealous and secretly angry. Obviously, they will never come at you directly and admit being sad for having seen that you’re doing better than they thought. But, the signs will be clear from their body language, the way they talk, and their actions.
In this scenario of life, a jealous friend will think you’re the most ungrateful person on earth for complaining so much or making it sound like you have such a bad life when they think that you don’t. And, they might even take it upon themselves to try and change your fortune and make you miserable by silently waiting for an opportunity to present itself.
2- You’re a jealous person yourself:
There could be a few reasons why you only attract jealous friends, but one possibility is that you yourself are a jealous person yourself. According to a study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, people tend to be attracted to others who share their own personality traits.
So if you’re a jealous person, it’s likely that you’ll be drawn to other jealous people unknowingly and get into a silent toxic competition with one another. If you keep trying to prove that you have it better than your friend and they keep doing the same, but not so openly then you two could be competing in life and jealous of one another.
Life is not a competition. Life is about supporting one another to reach our dreams that should be as different as our personalities and goals in life. If you and your friends have the exact same dreams, and goals and are secretly competing to get to them before one another then it can become unhealthy.
Make sure this blind type of jealousy doesn’t trigger one of you to do something very unethical or spiteful in an attempt to delay or hold back the other from succeeding in whatever it is they’re trying to do.
Additionally, if you’re jealous yourself and you know it then try to work on being better and stay away from people that trigger such a horrible trait in you. Keep in mind that no matter how much you hide it: your body language and behavior may be giving off jealousy vibes.
Jealousy is also often sparked by feelings of insecurity, so if you’re insecure about something that might be the cause. Ultimately, the best way to break out of this cycle is to work on becoming a more confident and secure person. When you feel good about yourself and your friendships, you’re less likely to be jealous or attract jealous friends that want to compete with you.
3- You show off a lot:
If you’re the type of person who likes to show off and make your life look like a fairytale, be it in person or on social media then you might attract many jealous friends.
People might be envious of you because you seem to have everything going for you. While it’s great to be confident and have things going well in your life, you shouldn’t flaunt it all the time. Yes, it’s true that we mentioned in our first point in this list that you shouldn’t complain all the time either especially not at the very start of a friendship.
However, making your life look like perfection is also not the best thing to do. If you do then once again you may run the risk of only ending up pushing people away. Instead, try being more humble and down-to-earth. That way, you’ll attract friends who are genuinely happy about your success.
4- You make it sound like you never have a problem or a worry:
When you focus on your friends’ problems during your talks and interactions and make it sound like you have none, you give off the vibe that you’re a superhuman. This can make you seem like you’re perfect, and no one likes being around someone who seems perfect because it can emphasize their own flaws.
Jealousy is a common emotion, but when you only attract jealous friends, it might be because you never have any worries of your own to share. If you want to attract more positive and harmless people into your life, then it won’t hurt to share your worries or private matters with people you got close enough to. Obviously oversharing is a vice of its own and not a good thing to do.
However, talking about little inconveniences or problems you may have from time to time can be a good change from only focusing on your friends’ problems. Don’t become self-centered either and only ever talk about yourself! Remember there’s a balance to find and master about it all.
Plus focusing on your own problems and talking about them at times can be a good way to start thinking about solutions and working on fixing them. Reducing the jealousy you invoke in others will make it easier to attract the types of friends you really want to be around.
5- You have bad friends that like to prey on others:
One last possible reason you might only attract jealous friends is if you select horrible people that like to gossip about others. If you’re constantly talking about other people’s flaws and failings with your friends, then they will start to wonder what you’re saying about them behind their backs.
Not only that, but they’ll try to find your own successes and flaws and compare them to their own too. If you’re always surrounded by people that are not so nice and who always seem to take pleasure in putting others down; then your turn may come one day. and, you should not be surprised when they decide to turn on you.
If you find that the friends your friends are subjectively bad or unethical people then they’re probably jealous of everyone, not just you. Jealousy is often born out of feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, and people who feel this way tend to be jealous of everyone they meet; not just you.
If you’re always surrounded by people who are trying to bring you down, it might be time to reassess your friend group. After all, life is too short to spend time with people who don’t make you feel good about yourself.
If you want to attract more positive people into your life, try being more mindful of the way you speak about others. Try to become a positive person yourself before expecting others to be it. Focus on the good in people, and try to see the best in everyone you meet.
So why do you attract jealous friends? Maybe you’re just really awesome and everyone wants what you have. Maybe you have killer dance moves, or can always make people laugh. Or maybe it’s one of the reasons mentioned in this article.
Or, it could be a combination of all of the above. Whatever the reason, if you’re only attracting jealous friends, take a step back and reassess what might be driving them to feel that way. Once you figure it out, you can start working on fixing the issue.