Why saying hurtful things in a relationship is wrong

saying hurtful things in a relationship

It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with your partner; at some point, you’re bound to say something hurtful during an argument. Whether it’s out of anger or frustration, it can be easy to lash out and say something that you’ll later regret. And, once the words are out there, it can be incredibly difficult to take them back.

Not only can hurtful words damage your relationship, but they can also be incredibly difficult to forget. If you find yourself frequently arguing with your partner, it may be worth examining your communication style.

After all, even the healthiest relationships require work and that work starts with learning how to resolve conflicts in a constructive way. In this article, we give you a few reasons to think twice before you say something hurtful again to your partner. Thankfully, this will force you to find a way to communicate more peacefully and efficiently.

Why saying hurtful things in a relationship is a horrible habit:

1- It can destroy trust in the couple:

Saying hurtful things in a relationship is wrong for many reasons. However, one of the main ones is that it creates an environment of distrust and insecurity. If you can’t trust your partner to be respectful, it’s going to be hard to build a healthy relationship.

Plus it also causes emotional pain and endless disappointment in the one you love the most. It’s not just the words that hurt but the intention behind them. When you say something hurtful, you’re intentionally trying to harm your partner which is beyond devastating.

Keep in mind that when we love someone we tend to let our guard downs around them and be ourselves so if they use this and weaponize things about us that we let them see in moments of trust and comfort, it can be shocking and heartbreaking.

Not only that but it can also destroy intimacy. Intimacy requires vulnerability and trust, both of which are destroyed when you say hurtful things. So next time you’re tempted to say something mean, think about how it will affect your relationship. It’s not worth the damage.

2- It will build resentment:

Saying hurtful things to your partner is one ugly habit that can quickly turn the relationship toxic. It might not seem like a big deal at the moment, but those words can have a lasting effect.

They can build resentment and cause your partner to question your true feelings for them. Even if you don’t mean it, the words can come out in the heat of the moment and they can do a lot of damage. Once you say something, you can’t take it back, and it is only a matter of time before it builds up a lot of resentment. That resentment can turn into toxic anger, and before you know it, you’re treating your partner like an enemy instead of the person you love.

All of that negativity will take its toll on your relationship and eventually, the love will start to fade away. So next time you’re in an argument with your partner, try to bite your tongue and resist the urge to say something that you’ll only end up regretting later.

3- You can’t forget about it even if you try:

If you’ve ever said something hurtful to your partner, you know how difficult it can be to take back. Once the words are out there, they can’t be unsaid. You might apologize profusely and try to make up for what you said, but the damage is done.

Your partner will always remember what happened, and it can be hard for them to move on. In some cases, they might even hold a grudge. So next time you’re feeling angry or frustrated, think twice before you say something you might regret. It’s not worth risking your relationship over a few hurtful words.

What’s more, it can be hard for them not to keep bringing up the past and try to punish you for what you said, weeks or even months later. This can be very frustrating but you cannot blame them for it. It’s reassurance and the ability to trust you again that they’re after! Even if you apologize, your partner may still remember the hurtful things you said no matter how many nice things you do for them.

If that’s a situation you find yourself in then we recommend you check our article out later on, on how to deal with a partner that keeps bringing up the past. In the end, the best thing to do is to be mindful of the power of your words from the start. Think before you speak, and avoid saying anything that could damage your relationship, permanently.

4- It hurts the most coming from the person you love:

Saying hurtful things to your significant other can easily feel like a total betrayal. It can be so shocking coming from the person you thought had your back no matter what. But it happens, and it’s important to try to understand why it happened.

Oftentimes, people say hurtful things in the heat of the moment without really meaning them. They’re just trying to hurt you as much as you’ve hurt them. And that doesn’t make it okay, but it does help to explain it.

So if your partner ever says something hurtful to you, try to remember that it’s probably not actually how they feel. And if they do actually mean it, then maybe it’s time to reconsider the relationship. But above all try not to be extremely shocked and devastated if your partner hurt you or did something bad to you that you didn’t see coming.

5- It’s not worth it in the end:

No one is perfect, and it’s normal to fight with your partner from time to time. However, in the end, it’s important to watch what you say during an argument, as hurtful words can do lasting damage to your relationship. It’s easy to say something in the heat of the moment that you later regret, but once the words are out there, you can literally never take them back.

And even if you apologize or make it up to them, your partner may not be able to forget what you said. So it’s best to avoid saying anything that could be construed as an attack on your partner’s character or intelligence.

At the end of the day, it’s not worth damaging your relationship over a petty argument. And keep in mind, sometimes a bad argument where many hurtful things were said can be the beginning of the end of the relationship.

This means even though that argument will not seem to be the direct or real reason for a break-up, the harm it will cause can last and be hard to overcome. It can even result in secret resentment and a toxic environment that will instead lead to a real break-up.

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