5 signs he is using you for a place to live

signs he is using you for a place to live

If you’ve ever had a roommate, you know how important it is to make sure that you’re on the same page about expenses and house rules.

But what happens when you make a partner or a friend a rent-free roommate? Do you start doubting after some time whether they’re just taking advantage of your hospitality?

Here are a few signs that your new rent-free roommate may be using you for a free place to live:

Signs he’s using you for a place to live for free:

1- They openly take advantage of you, financially:

They never seem to have any money. If your new unwelcome guest or friend/ partner forcefully converted into a roommate always has excuses about why they have no money, then it’s a red flag.

If they’re broke and asking you for loans or freebies, it may be because they’re not planning on ever contributing to any household expenses. They probably think it’s acceptable for them to become a financial burden of yours.

Even if you’re financially better off than your friend, date, or new partner that came to live under your roof, it doesn’t mean that they should become your dependant by law. In fact, this type of relationship can quickly become toxic; if you allow a person like this to start taking advantage of you openly and without having to do much in return.

So ask yourself: does he think it’s okay for you to pay for everything? If he’s never offered to split the rent or help with utilities, it’s also a pretty good sign he’s taking advantage of your generosity. Second, does he have any of his own furniture or belongings at your place that you both use and benefit from? In other words, did he put anything of his on the table? If he’s essentially living out of a suitcase, it’s another red flag.

Finally, does he make any effort to contribute to the household? If he doesn’t help with chores or Pitch in when you need help around the house, he’s probably not interested in being a true partner. He’s probably thinking and telling others that he has found himself a magic lamp.

2- They pretend to “forget” about their duties or share:

They’re always “forgetting” their share of the rent or utility bills. If your partner or friend frequently “forgets” to pay their share of the bills, it could be because they’re hoping that you’ll cover them. In fact, this is one sure way to tell if he’s just using you for a place to live.

You can analyze it all just by looking at how he behaves. If he’s always forgetting to perform his duties or give his share of the rent, it’s a sign that he sees you as a “piggy bank” maybe. If he didn’t even try and propose that he will pay you or do specific services for you in exchange for letting him crash on your sofa rent-free, then it must all be calculated.

Similarly, if he only ever takes from the relationship and never gives anything back, it’s a sure sign that he’s just using you for your home and maybe for more, depending on how much you’re willing to give. So, if you start to suspect that he’s taking advantage of your generosity, it might be time to have a talk about what you both want from the relationship.

3- They’re always using your belongings:

If this man is always taking advantage of your food and other supplies then it’s a red flag. If your new rent-free roommate is always eating your food or using your products, then it may be because they’re trying to save money by not buying their own.

So if he always uses your things and never has his own or never intends to buy his own, then watch out for this behavior. If he’s always borrowing your shampoo, using your towels, and eating your food then he’s clearly using you like a free vending machine or supermarket too. Additionally, if he never offers to pay for anything nor does he even show an ounce of guilt about doing this then you might have messed up by inviting him to stay at yours.

In this case, it will always be you picking up the slack financially and emotionally. Also if on top of all this, he’s always making excuses for why he can’t spend time with you because he’s either “too busy” or he “has to work.”, then he probably just want to use you until he gets on his feet or finds his true dream girl.

4- They don’t seem too rushed to find themselves a solution:

If you’ve let him stay at yours for a little while and he’s gotten comfortable to the point where it’s making you uncomfortable, then you might want to find a solution. And by comfortable here, we mean he’s really taken advantage of your hospitality. He’s not too rushed to find a solution or get back on his feet and he’s taking his sweet time looking for a job or rent he can afford.

In the meantime, he’s probably eating your food, using your utilities, and basically just mooching off of you as we mentioned before. It’s great that you’re being so generous but at what point do you draw the line?

You don’t want to be a total jerk about it but if he’s really taking advantage of the situation then you have to act fast. Talk to him about it soon before it gets out of hand. Also, consider reading this article on how to stop giving so much when we receive nothing in return.

5- They feel entitled and shamelessly expect from you:

If you had a close friend or new flame who you allowed to stay with you for a while, but they quickly became entitled to your generosity and money; then it might become frustrating and shocking.

If someone was going through some tough times and you didn’t want them to be homeless, you might have invited them to stay at yours. But, maybe now you feel trapped. Maybe this person stayed with you for weeks or months and maybe it was great at first. At first, they’re all always so appreciative and maybe you were able to get closer and deepen your connection.

But if after a while, he starts to openly act like he is entitled to everything you do for him, if he would have his friends over without asking, and he would make a mess of the house, then you might want to put an end to it all. It may get to the point where you will have to ask him to leave. It will be a tough decision, but you will get to a point where you cannot live like that anymore, especially not in the name of unproven and conditional love or a fake hypocritical type of friendship.

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