How to stop being attracted to a friend in 4 steps

stop being attracted to a friend

Many relationships start rooted in an already existing friendship. It’s normal to develop deeper feelings for one of our friends, since we spend a lot of time with them, share memorable moments and have fun with them.

However, it’s not always a good idea to develop feelings for a friend that may always only ever be a friend. So if you think it’s best not to try to turn the friendship into something more, follow these steps to stop being attracted to your friend.

This is how you can stop being attracted to a friend:

1. Think of the downside:

You need to think that, even though you are now fantasizing about the idea of being in a romantic relationship with your friends, reality might be a bit different. You need to take into account all the negative reactions that can result from you acting on those feelings.

If you haven’t seen clear signs that your friend might be interested in you too, you need to be prepared for the possibility of being rejected. In that case, you need to take into account the fact that when a friend has to reject the advances of another friend, it can make the relationship awkward and tense at best.

The aftermath isn’t the same as if you were two people who had just met and didn’t form a bond or attraction and just moved on. Your friend will have a difficult time rejecting you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, but they don’t want to lead you on out of pity either which will put them in a difficult situation.

After this, your relationship might never recover, making you both lose a cherished friendship. Every time you feel your mind falter, remember the consequences that your actions might have.

2. Start seeing other people:

If your feelings are too strong, you might need to consider taking some time off from the friendship, without saying your reasons for this break. Simply distance yourself a little from your friend until you find someone that gives you butterflies and who is willing to reciprocate your advances from the start.

Since you know it won’t be fruitful to confess your feelings, you will need to clear your head. First, explain to your friend that for the time being you won’t be very available to hang out. However, you need to make it clear that everything is alright between you two and that you are not interested in stopping being friends with them. 

During this break, you can reflect on whether what you feel for your friend is just attraction or something more. Also, consider dating others during this time and going on as many dates as you can; as long as they’re all planned in public places to stay safe and sound.

You don’t need to commit to a serious relationship right away, but if the opportunity presents itself, consider giving someone you’re compatible with a chance. This will help you put things into perspective, and it will show you that there are other people out there you could be interested in, without having to damage a friendship.

3. Focus on their flaws:

This is a classic one, that you probably have heard of. You know what your heart is saying and it is saying that you are falling in love with your friend and wish to be with them in a romantic relationship.

But your heart can be irrational and tend to put a pink filter in front of your eyes. The reason for this is because when we are just friends with someone, it’s very easy to see their small flaws and have no problem bringing them to their attention. However, when we start to feel something more, we ignore all those flaws and start idealizing that person. You can check this article out later on how love can literally be blind!

So, to stop being attracted to a friend, you will have to search through your memories and think back on the times when you liked them just as a friend. Focus on those memories and think about the things that irked you about them, the things that made you feel a bit annoyed, repulsed, or even offended. These things could be the way they chew their food loudly when eating, or their poor organizing and cleaning skills, for example.

Now that you know what irked you about your friend at the time, make an active effort to see through your pink filter and look for those flaws again to emphasize them. Think about the fact that, if you date, you would have to tolerate them if you wanted to continue to be together. 

4. Confront your feelings:

Sometimes, things appear to have bigger importance in our minds than they actually do in real life. That’s why one of the best pieces of advice to deal with our problems is to share them with a friend or a loved one verbally because it instantly makes them look less daunting.

You could use this technique when it comes to the undesired attraction you feel toward a friend. And, once you start talking about it out loud, it might all seem ridiculous or even funny. You could also journal about your feelings, in detail, and then read them out loud if you don’t want to tell anyone.

As a last resort, you could be direct and tell your friend how you have been feeling lately. But consider that maybe, the attraction you thought you were feeling is just loneliness. So think a lot because you decide to risk a precious friendship over nothing.

And in the end, the best piece of advice we could give you if you thought this article was useful in the slightest is to check this one out on how to stop romanticizing someone. It could help a lot as you could be romanticizing this friend more than you should!

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