We’ve all been there before. You meet someone new and there’s an instant connection. However, after a few days or weeks of dating, you realize that you’re not actually interested in this person.
Maybe they’re great on paper, but there’s just no spark. Or perhaps you’re simply not attracted to them enough to consider starting a relationship. Whatever the case may be, it’s important, to be honest with yourself and with your date and not lead them on in any type of way.
How serious should someone be about their date?
If you’re dating someone and you’re not sure how serious they are about you, it’s important to communicate with them directly to avoid getting led on.
But how do you avoid leading them on yourself, too? In fact, stringing someone along for months or even just more than a few dates, when you know for a fact you don’t like them enough for a relationship, can be a terrible thing to do.
That’s why in this article we will be discussing how many dates it takes for the average person to become sure about whether they want to continue dating someone and explore the possibility of a relationship or stop and avoid leading them on.
So how can dating someone for too long lead them on?
This is not a very difficult question to answer, even though making sure you’re not interested in someone can require varying periods of time, depending on the situation. Generally speaking, leading someone on occurs when one person gives the other false hope that they are interested in pursuing a relationship.
This can happen in a number of ways, such as making frequent eye contact on dates, engaging in physical contact, or continuously flirting with someone even though there is no intention of taking things further. Continuing to date someone, when you know for a fact you’re not interested can be cruel but not uncommon. Sometimes, people lead others on because they enjoy the attention that comes with it.
Others might do it for a number of different reasons including fear of being alone, insecurity, a need for validation or just wanting an ego boost. However, dating someone for any of these reasons can ultimately cause more pain than if you had just broken things off once you realized that your connection has no future.
Ultimately, if you are repeatedly going on dates with someone without any intention of developing a relationship, you are most likely leading them on, unless you both agreed on dating “for fun”. Then that’s a totally different story. Check this article out for more information on the point and purpose of dating in different scenarios.
If both of you are on the same page, great! If not, it’s better to know sooner rather than later so that everyone can move on.
After how many dates do you decide you’re not interested?
How many dates you go on before having a conversation about your expectations will depend on your individual relationship, but it’s best to err on the side of sooner rather than later. You don’t want to wait too long and have them develop stronger feelings for you than you have for them.
On the other hand, if you bring it up too soon, it could be that you didn’t give yourself enough time to decide not to pursue things with them. The key is to strike a balance and have an honest conversation as soon as you can about your intentions and what you’re looking for in the relationship.
And let’s be honest it takes around 3 dates to know for sure if something might come out of seeing that person or if you’re really not feeling it. So it’s safe to say that after 3 dates or even 5, you’re basically leading that person on; unless you consider starting a relationship with them.
The first date can be a good way to gauge if the two of you click and if there’s any physical attraction or spark. The second will confirm your findings. And, the third date will seal the deal and leave no room for doubts. So here we said it!
Are you necessarily giving someone hope by going on more dates?
After a few dates with someone, you usually have a pretty good idea of whether or not you’re interested in pursuing a relationship. So it is important that you’re very clear about your intentions and where you stand. Even though the other person might be open to a “friends with benefits” type of relationship or something similar, it’s better not to engage in such a thing.
People always end up getting hurt and things become inevitably messy in this type of situation. So if you were looking for a relationship from the start and this person just doesn’t fit the bill, kindly decline any alternative offer they make and let them go.
After you’ve been on more than 3 to 5 dates with them, you usually have a pretty good idea of whether or not there’s a spark. If you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship, it’s important to let the other person know as soon as possible.
Even if you don’t take our advice and you become interested in exploring something other than a committed relationship with them, then be cautious. You have to be very open about only wanting to have fun with them, they should at least be willing and very aware of your intentions.
Continuing to go on dates when you’re not interested without any clarification, will always give false hopes to the other person. And, it can be unfair to both parties involved. The person you’re seeing may develop feelings for you and think that there’s potential for something more when in reality you’re just not that into them.
For all these reasons, it’s best to be upfront and honest from the beginning to avoid leading anyone on. If you wait too long to have the “I’m just not feeling it” talk, you run the risk of hurting someone’s feelings needlessly. So if you’re not interested in dating someone after a few dates, it’s best to cut things off before things get too complicated.