How to ask a guy where you stand over text?

how to ask a guy where you stand over text

It can be tough to gauge where you stand with a guy, especially if you’re not dating exclusively. If you’ve been texting back and forth for a while and you’re ready to take things to the next level, it’s natural to want to know where you stand.

Asking a guy where you stand over text is a perfectly acceptable way to get clarification on the situation. Especially because it can be really nerve-wracking to stay in the dark about the situation.

If you’re nervous about doing it in person, or you think you might rather get rejected by text than in real life, there are a few things you can do to make it easier.

How to ask a guy where you stand by text?

1- Keep the conversation light:

First, try to keep the conversation light and casual beforehand. This will help you feel more relaxed when the time to ask the question comes.

You need to understand that the key is to keep the conversation that takes place before, very light and not so serious. You can start by asking how his day is going, or how he’s been. Once you’ve been chatting for a little while, you can bring up the topic of relationships in a general way.

For example, you might mention that you’re curious about what he thinks of guys that date multiple people at once. Or, you could ask him what type of dating will he be more open to, at this stage in his life. From there, it should be easy to segue into a discussion about your own relationship status.

Keep the tone casual and friendly, and he should be happy to tell you where things stand. The entire idea is not to scare him into committing or saying that the two of you are an exclusive couple because he will be lying and just telling you what you want to hear.

The point is to catch him by surprise and off-guard to truly see what he thinks so that you can make an informed decision about what you want to do next. It is important that you’re able to see if this guy will just waste your time, even if it may hurt you and be disheartening.

2- Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there fully:

Now that you made the discussion revolve around dating and relationships and now that you saw what he’s thinking, it’s time to be more direct.

So don’t be afraid to be as forward as it takes to finish the job, especially if you’re communicating mainly over text. In fact, the entire point of having you approach this situation through text rather than in person is just so that you’re happy to say things as they are. So don’t shy away from asking any questions you might have.

If you’re ready to take things to the next level but aren’t sure if your guy feels the same way, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and ask him directly where he sees things going. After all, you’re protected by being behind a screen so it’s not like he’s gonna see you cry or see how much this means to you from the start.

The worst that can happen is he says he’s not looking for anything serious right now, which at least gives you a better idea of where you stand. To make your intention clear, start by saying something like “I really enjoy spending time with you and I’m just wondering where you see this going.” He may need a little prompting to open up about his feelings, but once he does, you’ll be in a much better place to decide whether or not to continue pursuing things with him.

3-Don’t hesitate and just do it:

It can be frustrating when you’re not sure where you stand with someone. If you’re interested in a guy and want to know where things are going, there’s no need to be afraid to ask. We said it before and we will insist on it at this point. This entire bullet point will consist of convincing you to just do it!

Continuing to give your all to this guy and have him not value you one bit, is what’s shameful and disrespectful. However, demanding answers and wanting to know how much he cares about you and where you stand is not a crime. In fact, it’s a necessity for you to have peace of mind and be able to be yourself with him without holding back.

Read this article later on how and why you should never accept the bare minimum in relationships and when dating, then only you’ll understand better that it’s your right to ask!

In other words, just go for it! The worst that can happen is he says no, and then you can move on. Just remember that even if it doesn’t work out the way you wanted, at least you’ll have an answer.

4- Give him space if needed:

If he’s not ready then don’t put pressure on him. You don’t want to make him feel like he has to give you an answer right away. Just let him know that you’re curious about where things are going and give him some space to think about it.

Make sure that he knows you don’t have all the time in the world either to sit on a rock and wait indefinitely for his answer. In fact, now that you have had this conversation you have to not go out on any dates with him at all, nor get physical with him or reward him in any way until you get your answer.

If you go out of your way to please him and do everything he wants then it won’t convince him to give a good answer about where you stand. It will only show him that you can do so much without needing any type of commitment. In this case, he will be insane to commit to you only to get what he’s already getting without commitment, right?

5- Don’t take it personally if he’s not ready for something serious:

The most important thing to remember in the end when asking someone where you stand is that you shouldn’t take it personally if they’re not interested.

There is plenty of other fish in the sea, and you don’t want to waste your time on someone who’s not interested in you. With that said, thank him for being honest. And be prepared for any answer. Whether he says he’s not interested or he wants to take things slow, don’t take it personally.

If he’s not ready for a commitment, he’ll likely let you know. But if he does feel the same way, this could be the start of something special.

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