It’s normal to have cold feet before getting married. After all, you’re about to make a huge commitment that will affect the rest of your life. But if you’re starting to doubt whether marriage is even right for you, it’s important to take some time to think about your decision.
Are your doubts simply cold feet, or do you have legitimate concerns? If it’s the latter, then it might be best to back out of the relationship before you seal the deal.
In any case, in this article, we’re going to try and guide you through this stressful and difficult time. Maybe you don’t want to share your thoughts with others but still need some advice and that’s what we will provide.
After all, you don’t want others to start judging a marriage that didn’t even start yet. And what if you go along with it in the end? Then you may regret having said anything at all.
What to do when you’re uncertain about marriage?
If you’re just feeling scared or uncertain, only a few days or weeks before the big day then there are a few things you can do to ease your anxiety.
1- Talk to your partner:
Talk to your partner about your fears, and try to get a better understanding of what marriage will entail. You can also attend pre-marriage counseling sessions or read books about marriage.
This can be entertaining and a way to see how other people think of it and how important it is for them. However, if you worry about how your own marriage will look, then you are more likely to find the answers with your partner, rather than with anyone else.
Once you’ve done some research and soul-searching, you’ll be in a better position to make a decision about how you want to make yours be. You can decide how to approach marriage, what your expectations of your spouse will be, and how you’re willing to perceive your role as a spouse too.
Ultimately, you should make sure that you and your partner are on the same page, have the same goals, and are heading in the same direction. So after you do all this, if you decide that marriage is still right for you, then it’ll be all the more special when you finally tie the knot.
2- Decide if your doubts are valid or unjustified and if they’re serious:
So you’re having doubts about marriage, huh? We all go through phases of doubt, it’s only natural. But how serious are your concerns? Are they the kind of doubts that can be worked out with some communication, or did you find out something recently that is a real deal-breaker?
If it’s the latter, then it might be time to reconsider whether marriage is right for you. But if your doubts are more minor and stem from things like cold feet or pre-wedding jitters, then there’s no need to worry.
Just remember that marriage is a big commitment, and if you’re not sure if you’re ready, it’s better to wait than to rush into something you’ll regret later. That’s especially true if you have new factors, new truths, or game-changers that only revealed themselves recently. Again, in this case, don’t be in denial or try to force yourself to go through something you’ll regret.
3- Relax and calm yourself down:
Doubting whether or not to get married is normal. In fact, it’s probably one of the most common wedding-related concerns out there. After all, marriage is a big deal! It’s a lifelong commitment, and it’s not something you should rush into.
But try to relax and think things through logically. Is there something specific that’s worrying you? There must at least be an internal fear of yours that has manifested itself in this type of doubts and stress. So is it a particular internal fear, like being afraid of commitment? Or is it the fear of trust issues and unfounded worries about trusting someone with such an important responsibility in front of everyone?
Once you identify what your internal fear is about, it’ll be easier to deal with. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, and your potential spouse gave you no reason to doubt them or feel so hesitant then take some time to yourself to calm down. Go for a walk, take some deep breaths, and remind yourself of the good reasons that made you say “yes” to this person in the first place.
If you’re doubting whether marriage is even right for you, at this stage in your life then that’s okay too. Take some time to think about it. Consider your relationship, your goals, and your feelings. Talk to your partner about your concerns whatever they are. And when you’re ready, make a final decision that’s best for you.
4- Marriage doesn’t have to be a life sentence, after all:
It’s understandable to have doubts about marriage. After all, it’s a big “lifelong” commitment. You’re promising to spend the rest of your life with someone, and that’s not something to be taken lightly. But it’s important to remember that marriage doesn’t always have to be a permanent fate or life sentence.
If things go wrong and you turn out to be less happy than you thought it will make you, then it’s not irreversible. You can always get separated. Obviously, it’s not ideal to think of things this way from day one.
However, it’s important to remind yourself of this truth if you find yourself terrified about whether it will make you happy or turn out to be a trap you walked into. And if you’re really not sure about marriage, you can always just live together first and deal with the problems that come with that.
This will help you get a better idea of how compatible the two of you are There’s no rush. Take your time and make sure you’re really ready before you take the plunge.
5- Stay positive:
There’s no question that getting married is a huge decision. After all, you’re committing to spending the rest of your life with one person. Again, we remind you once more that it’s understandable if you feel a little apprehensive about taking such a big step.
However, it’s important to stay positive and remember all of the reasons why you’re getting married in the first place. If you focus on the love and happiness that you’ll share with your partner, it will help to ease any doubts that you may have.
It’s normal to have doubts about marriage, especially if you’ve been through a bad break-up or have seen friends go through divorces. But it’s important to focus on the good things about marriage, too. Marriage is an opportunity to build a life with someone you love and who loves you back.
It’s a chance to create a home and a family. And it’s a chance to learn and grow together. And remember, even if things don’t always go perfectly, marriage is still worth it.