How to deal with anger towards an ex?

how to deal with anger towards an ex

Even when a breakup is for the best, there’s always a period of adjustment and grief. often, we idealize our partners and envision a future that’s no longer possible.

That’s why it’s so important to take some time for yourself after a breakup; to mourn the loss of what could have been, heal, and remind yourself that you’re still an amazing, worthy person who deserves happiness. Of course, it’s easier said than done.

Sometimes the anger we feel towards our ex can become all-consuming, preventing us from moving on. if you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to remember that holding onto your anger is only going to hurt you in the long run. So how to manage and deal with anger towards an ex? Read on to find out!

5 steps to deal with anger towards an ex:

After a breakup, it’s totally normal to feel angry, hurt, and even vengeful towards your ex. But dwelling on negative emotions like this will only make you feel worse in the long run. If you’re having trouble moving on, here are a few tips for dealing with your anger in a healthy way.

1- Find the root cause of your anger:

First, try to understand where your anger is coming from. Is it stemming from a place of hurt or betrayal? Or is it simply a reaction to the pain of the breakup? Once you’ve pinpointed the source of your anger, you can start to address it directly.

If you’re feeling hurt, for example, because your ex cheated on you or disappointed you in horrible ways then you might talk to a therapist or close friend about what happened.

But if you’re feeling angry because you miss your ex, and blame them for not fighting more for you then you may find your way back to them. If you both have unfinished business or feelings for one another and nothing extreme happened to cause the breakup, then there’s a big chance you’ll find a way to fall in each other’s arms again. If not, then it means they were never on the same page as you and it’s better to find someone that will reciprocate your love more anyway.

Or maybe you’re just angry because you’re sad that a beautiful love story came to an end and you’re left with another failed relationship. In this case, try to find healthy ways to cope with that sadness. It could be exercise or spending time with loved ones. It might not be easy, but finding the root cause of your anger will help you move on and find happiness again.

2- Get closure:

If your ex did you dirty, it’s only natural that you’d be feeling angry. But what can you do about it? First, you could try confronting them directly, even though the relationship has ended and falling apart. This could be a useful way to get some closure, and maybe even get some justice if they’ve really wronged you.

Of course, there’s no guarantee that this will go well, but it’s worth a shot. Alternatively, you could try to let go of your anger altogether. This might be easier said than done, but it’s worth considering. After all, holding onto all that anger isn’t going to do you any good in the long run. Maybe if you can let it go, you’ll finally be able to move on.

If you just cannot bring yourself to move on or stop feeling angry then it must be something bad your ex did to you, when you had your guard down. As we said, if that was truly what happened, then try to ask why they did what they did it, what motivated them and why they deliberately hurt you when you had their back and were their partner.

Clearly, this is not to make your ex feel bad or guilty as they already wronged you in some way without a single care in the world. This will be simply to help you understand better and get closure.

3- Put yourself first:

It’s hard to let go of anger and resentment towards an ex. After all, they were a big part of your life, and it can be tough to accept that things didn’t work out. However, holding onto anger is only going to hurt you in the long run.

If you find yourself struggling to let go, try your absolute best to remember your worth and refocus your attention on yourself, needs, and wants. Try to find something that you’re passionate about and give it more of your time. Doing things that make you feel good about yourself will help you to move on from the past.

Working on finding yourself again while in a long-term relationship that took all your focus or after an ugly breakup can be a tough task. So try to focus on taking care of yourself and find your independence again. It’s important to remember your individuality and what used to make you happy before.

Often, it takes some time and distance to find perspective. However, it’ll be worth it in the end when you’re able to move on from the pain and anger you’re currently feeling. You can later check this article out on how to find yourself again independently of a relationship.

4- Focus on the future:

When you put your heart and soul into a relationship, it can be tough to see it end. And when the breakup is due to infidelity or another act of betrayal, the anger and hurt can be even harder to deal with.

If you find yourself feeling angry toward an ex, it’s important to focus on the future and set new goals. This can help you to find a new direction in life and start to move on from the hurt of the past.

It’s also important to remember that holding onto anger will only keep you from finding happiness and building a new future for yourself. So focus on your own well-being and let go of the anger so that you can start fresh.

5- Realise that your ex will move on in a heartbeat:

If you’re feeling angry toward your ex, it’s important to remember that they probably did something to hurt you. Maybe the breakup was caused by something catastrophic and unforgivable they did; which means they didn’t care much about you enough not to make such a mistake in the first place. In other words, they probably will have no trouble moving on pretty quickly.

Yes, it sucks that they were able to do whatever they did, but you have to keep in mind that you’re better off without them. Don’t put your life on hold for them, because they’re not gonna sit in a corner and cry forever. If they cheated then that tells you they pretty much moved on from you, while still in the relationship so they won’t waste one minute of their newfound single life thinking of you.

So do the same; go out and enjoy yourself. Spend time with your friends, take up a new hobby, or travel to a place you’ve always wanted to go. The anger will eventually fade and you’ll be glad you didn’t let your ex ruin your life.

Plus, if they truly did something very wrong and that’s how the relationship ended, then take pride in that. Lift your chin up and be happy not to have tolerated their horrible behavior and to have left instead of finding excuses to stay, which is something many do. Nobody can take that away from you. It means you have standards and don’t accept any type of disrespect.

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