When your wife wants a divorce but you don’t!

wife wants a divorce

According to statistics, women file for divorce a lot more than men. More specifically, around 70% of divorces in the US are initiated by women. Once they are done with the marriage, women’s main priority is getting out of it to start a new chapter. 

Now, whether the divorce takes them by surprise or not, men who still want to work on the marriage go into overdrive to try and save their relationship. If that happens to be your current situation and you don’t know where to start, here are 5 steps to get your wife to reconsider or change her mind about the divorce. 

5 Steps to Get Your Wife to Reconsider Divorce:

1- Accept what you’ve done wrong:

In many cases, the husband’s resistance to accepting their wrongdoings can drive a huge wedge between married couples. Relationships are two-way streets, so if she has been the one doing all the work so far, it’s no wonder she has had enough. 

Whether you’ve failed to make her a priority, be attentive, listen to her, respect her boundaries, or you’ve pushed her to the limit in any way, taking accountability is a good place to start. Granted, it might be a little too late, but it could also be exactly what she has been waiting for. 

2- Show her how much regret you have:

Once you acknowledge what you’ve done wrong and the weight of your actions, it’s important to show her how much you regret them. An honest and heartfelt apology has been long overdue and it could help turn things around.

Whether it changes her mind about divorce or not, accepting what you’ve done wrong and offering a sincere apology is the right thing to do. Heck, it’s the least you can do. It takes a lot of courage to be able to say “I made many mistakes and I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner and I’m sorry I hurt you.”

This signals emotional vulnerability and perhaps that’s what she has been trying to access all along. It’s not easy for men to be open and bare their feelings, but doing so, however uncomfortable it may be, could help save your marriage. 

3- Prioritize communication:

After you’ve shown regret and you’ve apologized, it’s important to prioritize communication. This is the time for both of you to put absolutely everything on the table. Create a space where she can talk about her feelings and the things that led her to the point of asking for a divorce. Let her vent, scream, and cry as much as she wants. 

Your only job is to listen to her; this is not the time to defend or explain yourself. Just listen and reflect on what she says so you can understand where she’s coming from.

After that, it can be your turn to talk, validate her feelings, and say what’s on your mind, without blaming her for a single thing. The goal here is to find mutual understanding and to determine if you can give the marriage a final chance. 

4- Take action:

Once you’re both clear on how you’ve fallen short on the marriage, it’s time to take action. Since she’s the one that has been most affected, you’re the one who has to do most of the work. You have to make up for what you haven’t done all those years. 

Now, it’s important to understand you can’t wind back the clock. So, just focus on the present and make sure your actions match your words. Whatever it is that you’ve promised to improve, do the work and follow through with it. Show her that you are capable of permanently improving by learning from your mistakes. 

5- Consider transforming yourself:

It’s never too late to grow as a person and transform yourself. The beauty of making mistakes is that, if you allow it, it teaches you a lot about who you don’t want to be. The only person you have control over is you and you’re the only one that can decide when to change. 

Don’t do it just for her or to save your marriage, do it for yourself as well. If you’ve become the kind of man you never meant to be, take this opportunity to work on yourself. Whether it saves your marriage or not, changing your ways for the better will improve your life and it can have a huge impact on your future. 

Conclusion:

Though we can’t promise these 5 steps will change your wife’s mind about divorce, they can help.

Saving your marriage requires a lot of work and both parties need to be willing. If your wife has already made up her mind, all there’s left for you to do is accept it, learn from it, and start healing. 

Now if you follow all the steps above, and you’re still wondering whether it worked then here’s an article on a few signs that your wife is changing her mind about divorce.

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