Is being loyal to someone who isn’t yours okay?

being loyal to someone who isn't yours

Have you ever felt strongly drawn to someone who is already in a relationship or who is just not available? It can be tempting to pursue them, even though you know it’s not realistic. Maybe you find yourself daydreaming about what could be, if only they were yours.

On some level, you may even convince yourself that they are really meant for you. While it’s understandable to feel this way, it’s important to remember that wishful thinking is not going to make them magically commit to you.

In most cases, it’s best to accept that they are unavailable and move on. Otherwise, you’re likely setting yourself up for disappointment and heartache. If you’re not convinced here are a few reasons why being loyal to someone who’s not even yours is a horrible idea so keep reading!

5 reasons why being loyal to someone who’s not yours is a bad idea:

1- They don’t really care that you’re loyal to them:

Being loyal to someone who’s not yours is a bad idea for lots of reasons, but one of the main ones is that they don’t truly care about your loyalty.

You may as well start dating or doing what you want as the person you’re dying to prove yourself to and preserving your body for, cannot care less. If they really cared about you, then they would’ve found a way to be with you by now, rather than make you wait and be faithful to someone who’s not even truly interested.

Over time, you’ll come to understand that you’re just a piece of their puzzle, something they can use to their advantage. Or maybe someone they used to boost their ego. Nothing less or more. Knowing that you’re being loyal to them when they didn’t even commit to you will probably make them laugh and give them a confidence boost.

They’ll see how little it takes to fully have someone like you wrapped around their finger. And sooner or later, they’ll move on completely from you and leave you behind, showing you that your loyalty was never needed in the first place. In other terms, it’s not worth it to be loyal to someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

2- They wouldn’t bat an eyelid if you gave up on them now:

We both know that being loyal to someone who’s not yours is a horrible idea because they never asked for your loyalty in the first place. They’ll probably be surprised and blame you for it if you told them that you’ve been waiting for years and being loyal to them when they’re not even yours.

Let’s face it even now if you decided to stop being loyal to them and went out there and started living your best life, then they would probably not even bat an eyelid. And if that’s truly the case, then why do you continue to hold on? They don’t appreciate your loyalty, and they never will. They take you for granted and they don’t deserve your devotion.

In fact, some would argue that it will be a great idea to stop being loyal to them today and start living your life differently that may be what they need to get shaken up. That may be exactly what has been missing and make them realize you’re not gonna be quietly sitting in a corner your whole life waiting for them to become available and to be ready to commit.

But you can’t help it, can you? You’re loyal to a fault. Maybe you’ve abandoned or given up on someone too soon in the past and you fell into the trap of thinking holding on to this is a good idea. Remember that they’re not the ones who will have to deal with the consequences if things go wrong.

They’ll simply turn around and tell you that they never asked you to be loyal. Or they’ll tell you that it’s you who wanted to wait on them. And what’s worst is that wouldn’t be wrong. They’re not the ones who have to worry about being hurt or abandoned, after having sacrificed so much and waited for so long.

3- If they knew about it, they’ll fully lose interest in you:

If you’re loyal to someone who’s not yours, just stop for a moment and think about what you’re hoping to achieve with such behavior. Do you think that they’ll be so thrilled and happy to have their next partner already waiting for them to become free and available? Well, unfortunately, things don’t work this way in the real world.

The more you wait and the more you’re loyal to someone who’s not yours the more they’ll perceive you as someone who’s unwanted and has nothing better to do. By acting this way, you’re not putting yourself in the best light and you’re not making yourself out to be a commodity. Quite the contrary.

Even if the person that you’re loyal to, becomes available tomorrow and ready to find someone new, they’ll probably never consider you as an option. That’s because going after you will not be rewarding or challenging in any way since you’re already there waiting for them and have been waiting for a long time.

There’s no challenge, no thrill to going after you. They may jump into something straight away with you because why not? You’re already there waiting and ready to offer yourself to them on a silver tray without any conditions and at no cost. But, they will not commit to you or get serious with you.

This may sound harsh but it’s true that they may string you along for their own amusement or ego boost, and still, they’ll never fully commit to you. That’s simply because committing to you will be way too boring, too plain, too expected.

So we hope this shows you that what you’re doing is pointless. It’s not fair to lead you on like that, so it’s better to cut your losses and move on. There are plenty of other people out there who would appreciate your loyalty and reciprocate it from day 1. Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t deserve it.

4- It’s a big waste of time:

If someone doesn’t appreciate your loyalty, then you’re wasting your time being loyal to them. You should be Loyal to those who are Loyal to you, it’s simply the truth. Being Loyal to others shows that you’re a good person, but being loyal to those who don’t appreciate it is a waste of time.

Being loyal to someone who’s not even yours is in fact the biggest disservice you may do yourself. Instead of dating and having a chance at meeting someone even more compatible with you and available, you’re wasting your youth, energy, and time on someone who’s not available.

In the end, you have no guarantee that they’ll ever be yours, and you’re just setting yourself up for heartache. So why bother? There is plenty of fish in the sea, and you’re better off spending your time and energy on someone who you actually have a chance with. Life’s too short to waste on unrequited love.

5- It will push you into becoming someone don’t want to be:

Being loyal to someone who’s not yours can come back to bite you. As explained the person you’re being loyal to may not appreciate it themselves.

They may turn around and tell you off or blame you for having waited on them and they’ll be right because they probably never asked you to. They may think you’re a doormat or that you’re just trying to ingratiate yourself by throwing yourself at them when they’re not even available.

And most importantly if the person you’re being loyal to is in a relationship with someone else, your loyalty is essentially betraying that other person. You’re contributing to making someone put their trust in a person who’s not worthy of it, especially if their partner promised you something or did something to make you act the way you do and be loyal to them.

Additionally, all of this will just push you into eventually becoming “the other woman” or a “side chick” at most, which is not a very enviable or reputable position to hold. Plus, if things don’t work out with the person you’re being loyal to, you’ll be left feeling like a fool. In the eyes of everyone that comes to know about it, you’ll be perceived as a ridiculous and conniving person who tried to break a couple up.

If the current partner of the person you’re interested in came to learn about your loyalty to their partner, they’ll probably be shocked. They’ll probably think you’re insane and have no pride to do such a thing. They’ll feel lucky to be the ones enjoying the love, physical intimacy, public title, and companionship of the person who’s at the center of your dreams and fantasies. So it will push them to hold onto their position more.

Depending on your situation and circumstances, we recommend you either read this article on signs a married man is using you or this one on signs that he loves the other woman.

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