It’s heartbreaking when you realize your boyfriend is still attached to his ex. It’s confusing and sad, and it can make you feel jealous and hurt. You may feel like you’re not good enough or that he’s not over her yet.

But the truth is, breaking up is hard for everyone. It’s normal to need some time to move on. If your boyfriend is still talking to his ex, it doesn’t necessarily mean something bad.

In today’s article though, we will list the most common reasons why your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex. The good ones and the bad ones. So that you can decide for yourself if you’re happy giving him the benefit of the doubt or if you want to end this situation.

Reasons why your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex:

1- They stayed on good terms after the break-up:

First of all, it’s important to remember that breakups are rarely black and white. Just because two people are no longer together doesn’t mean that they don’t have positive feelings for each other.

In fact, it’s not uncommon for people to stay friends with their exes because they still care about them and appreciate their friendship. Clearly, not many will understand or have this type of mindset but there are people who do. Obviously, your boyfriend and his ex belong to the latter category.

He might just be trying to stay friends because they have a history together. But, is it even a good idea to stay friends with an ex? We’ve gone through this topic in the past and made an entire article on the boundaries needed to do that. So don’t hesitate to check the list of boundaries for being friends with an ex, later when you finish reading if you’re curious.

What we’re trying to say here is that even though it hurts to see him talking to her, try to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they’re just friends and nothing more.

Or, you can choose to see if he will choose your relationship over this very precious friendship with his ex by putting your foot down. Hopefully, he doesn’t even realize how much it’s affecting you and will choose you without hesitation… Or maybe not? If he doesn’t then there’s probably more to it than meets the eye, so read on and find a better explanation for that scenario.

2- She’s a part of his social circle:

Another possibility is that your boyfriend’s ex is simply a part of his social circle. If they have mutual friends or belong to the same community, it would be difficult and potentially awkward for him to completely cut ties with her.

Even if they’re not friends, they likely have mutual friends who they see on a regular basis. If he were to cut ties with her, it would mean losing out on those social activities and potentially damaging relationships with other people he cares about.

Additionally, it’s possible that your boyfriend keeps this group of friends to share activities with them, that he’s passionate about. So cutting ties would mean giving up something that he enjoys. In these cases, it can be difficult for a guy to justify cutting off all communication with his ex, even if he’s no longer interested in her romantically.

What you can try in this case, if you really want to see her gone is to become his best buddy yourself, go out with him often and do many activities together. Fill his time with different outings, activities, and dates with you alone. In other words, replace his group of friends.

However, move with caution this can be very mean to do if you’re not serious about the relationship or don’t think you were meant for one another. In the horrible scenario where you two break up, if you have created some type of exclusive codependency in the relationship then it will mean that his entire world had ended. And, you will suffer a lot too anyway!

3- He is still hoping to get back together:

Also, it’s worth considering the possibility that your boyfriend is still hoping to get back together with his ex and that’s why he’s not cutting ties with her. This may not be the case, but if he seems hesitant to move on, it may be worth talking to him about his feelings.

In fact, one very self-explanatory reason your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex is that he is still hoping to get back together. It’s every woman’s worst nightmare: having her boyfriend or partner be hiding feelings for their ex. It can feel like a betrayal, and it can be tough to trust him again, especially since he will probably never admit it and you just have to guess it in the first place.

So keep in mind that he may be using you as a placeholder for whenever his ex is ready to get him back. He may even be hoping to rekindle the relationship at the first opportunity he gets, or he may just have some unfinished business that he needs to take care of. Either way, if he’s not a cheater by nature then he may consider dumping you first when he sees signs that his ex is emotionally available again.

Either way, it’s not a great sign for your relationship. If your man can’t let go of his ex, especially if he argues with you and fights with you a lot when you try to make him cut ties. Now it’s time to have a talk about what he really wants if this is a possibility you doubt. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for heartache down the road.

4- He’s not over his ex:

There could be a few reasons why your boyfriend won’t cut ties with his ex, but one of the most likely is that he’s not over her yet. If they were together for a long time or if they had a particularly intense relationship, it can take a while to get over someone. Even if he’s not still in love with her, he may just need more time to get over the breakup.

This is different from the third possible reason because it doesn’t necessarily mean that he intends to go back with her at some point. Maybe he doesn’t have intentions like this, it’s likely that he’s just not over her and he needs her in his life right now ad he’s not ready to let go of someone that meant so much at one point.

If he has lost other loved ones recently, he will find it hard to cut all ties with his ex too. It will be like he is now just closing a chapter of his life but removing it completely from the book. This means he’s using her as a security blanket. If he’s not over her, he may still have feelings for her or he may simply be nostalgic. In either case, he’ll need some time to work through his feelings before he’s able to fully move on.

Be aware that he may be unwilling to let go because she provides him with a sense of comfort and familiarity. If this is the case, it’s important to have an honest conversation with your boyfriend about his feelings and what he expects from the relationship. Only then will you be able to move forward.

5- She provides him with something particular:

It’s also possible that he’s keeping her in his life because she provides something that you don’t, maybe she’s a better listener or she makes him laugh more.

Indeed it could be because she gives something that you don’t like good advice, guidance, and the occasional dose of tough love. We’d never truly know what she gives him that you cannot. Only he would know, but getting him to admit is another story. What we mean in this scenario is that she’s a precious companion who helps him navigate through life.

So even though you may not like it, he might be very unwilling to let go of this wise and valuable person. So maybe, she’s not going anywhere anytime soon.

Bottom line:

Whatever the reason, it’s important to communicate with your boyfriend about his relationship with his ex. If he’s not ready to let go, you’ll need to decide whether you’re okay with that or not.

If you’re not okay with that then you need to learn to put your foot down in a relationship and see how he receives it. If it doesn’t work then maybe you’ll have to put yourself first and re-evaluate this entire relationship.