If you’re feeling really good about yourself and you start to notice that the person you’re with doesn’t seem to be as happy as you, then it might be time to think about whether or not this is a rebound for them.
You may find yourself being the rebound to a person who has just been broken up with. This is because they needed someone to take care of them and so they will turn to you.
The term ‘rebound’ is used to describe a person who has recently been in a relationship and is on the lookout for someone new to quickly bound back from a tragic breakup or toxic ex.
This way, they won’t feel the pain properly by staying alone. When you are a rebound, it’s not easy to know whether or not you should continue seeing the person but in the end, it’s up to you to decide. In this article, we will cover some of the signs to help you figure out whether or not you’re a rebound.
Why do people find a rebound after a bad breakup?
It’s not uncommon for the rebound to be with someone who is similar to the person they are rebounding from.
The rebounder can also be driven by a need for validation. They may feel that they need to prove something to themselves and others in order to feel better about their decision. They may also want to show that they’re not broken and can still find someone else quickly after having had a horrible experience or breakup.
Sometimes they do it just because they need someone to take care of them, help them heal, and do their best for them. Looking for a quick rebound is not always done maliciously, some people end up marrying their rebound person and being grateful to them for life. They quickly need to be helped through a bad breakup or helped to stand on their feet after an awful experience again.
And, when someone does it so well and helps them a lot, it is usually hard to dismiss them and kick them to the curb just because they’re not their usual type or cup of tea and they only got with them out of desperation and helplessness.
5 ways to know if you’re the rebound:
1- They talk a lot about their ex:
Another sign that you may be a rebound can be seen when your partner is not over their ex-partner and instead hold on to them through you. They will do this by not giving themselves enough time before getting back into another relationship with someone else, or by talking about their ex-partner all the time.
If your partner is still talking to their ex on social media, or even just talking about them to you and others; they might be trying to get back together with them. They may also have a lot of unresolved feelings for their ex and be dealing with them in unhealthy ways. Either way, this is too messy and toxic for you to be involved in.
If your partner is constantly mentioning their exes, even if they are not around, this could be a sign that they want to get back together with them.
2- They have been hurt in some way in their last relationship:
They have been hurt in their last relationship. Whatever the reason is, if your partner has been very hurt or abused in their last relationship; then they may have tried to find anyone and anything to pull them away from that toxicity and revive them. That person probably happens to be you.
There’s nothing shameful about having helped someone out of a difficult place, if you do it with kindness, patience, and love then who knows they may fall in love with you harder; than they ever did for anyone else anyway.
Being the rebound person is not always something negative as long as you put boundaries in the relationship; like no talking about exes or past relationships. Being the rebound can be okay when your partner considers though their knight, savior, and Prince Charming who showed up and took them out of a dark, cold and miserable place in his arms.
3- You happened to be there and they happened to need someone:
You know that the way you met your partner is not very ideal. They happened to be suffering and you just happened to be there to pick up the broken pieces and to help them out of a bad place.
If you and your partner just happen to have found one another through unexpected or unfamiliar means to one of you or to both of you, then you know that your partner was trying anything and everything just to find someone or anyone as long as they can help them escape their toxic ex.
If the circumstances have put you and your partner together over and over again for some reason until you found yourself dating or using one another for support and comfort; then there’s no doubt that you’re a rebound!
4- They didn’t need to know much about you before they committed:
When your partner first met you they didn’t interrogate you much or take interest much in you; to see if you fit their criteria or don’t. They didn’t go out of their way to decide if you qualify or not to date them. In other words, they tried to accept you quickly as you are and move to the dating stage rather than eliminate you for this or that reason.
This could be because they already decided that they were gonna date the next person they meet, whoever it is, just to stop the pain they were feeling. They already decided to entertain themselves with the next person that shows up without complicating things much, just as long as that person doesn’t have two heads.
This is to say that they made it easy for you to start dating them straight away, without them digging or taking the time to see if you’re right or wrong for them. That could be because they thought they won’t end up with you in the long run anyway, but they just needed someone right away to pull them out of the mess that they were in.
5- Other signs:
Some more of the most common signs to know that you’re a rebound include:
– You don’t feel like you can be yourself with your partner.
– You feel like your partner is only with you because they don’t want to be alone.
– Your partner doesn’t really care about what you have to say.
– You feel like your partner is just waiting for someone better to come along.
-The person you’re dating doesn’t want to commit to you.
-The person you’re dating doesn’t care about your past or future.
-The person you’re dating doesn’t want to tell their friends about you.
-The person you’re dating avoids talking about their past relationships and wants to talk about the future instead.
-You feel like the person is trying too hard to make it work with you, so they seem desperate and needy.
” I was a rebound, will they come back?”
Now, let’s say after reading everything you come to the conclusion that you were someone’s rebound indeed. Maybe you’re wondering if they will ever come back. In that case, we have the answer.
Like we said a rebound is someone who you date after you’ve just gotten out of a relationship. Usually, people do this in order to try and forget about their ex and move on. And sometimes it works out! But other times, people end up getting hurt because they’re not over their ex yet and when they separate from their rebound they may go back to their ex again or stay single for a while.
If you’re thinking about whether someone who used you as a rebound will ever come back. Then the answer is: probably not. When they got with you they were not in the right headspace, and they quickly jumped on the next available person they found.
So you may not be their type or cup of tea or you may not have all it takes for them to really commit. When we get in a rebound relationship, we don’t really take the time to assess our rebound partner or take them that seriously. We just want someone to quickly put pressure on our wounds and stop the bleeding, metaphorically.
This is why in most cases, people don’t go back to their rebound. There are exceptions of course but the general rule is that rebound is just a “phase” and you get out of it as soon as you heal from that painful breakup that caused you to jump in it, in the first place.
Bottom line:
A rebound is a relationship that someone enters into to escape the feelings of pain and rejection following a previous relationship. It is more common for someone to enter into a rebound relationship when they are trying to avoid dealing with their breakup’s feelings of loneliness or heartbreak.
If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, it may be best for both parties if they take some space from each other and get some time to think about what they want from a relationship before jumping head first to a new one.