There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be the centre of attention, at times. In fact, most of us enjoy being noticed and appreciated. But when one partner consistently seeks attention at the expense of the other, it can create problems in the relationship.
What is an attention-seeking partner?
Attention-seeking partners are those who always need to be the centre of attention. They crave validation and admiration from others, and not just their partner and they’re never satisfied with just getting attention from irrelevant people. Attention-seekers are often high-maintenance, demanding constant reassurance and validation.
For example, they may try to get others to notice them by dressing provocatively, being flirty, or simply being the centre of attention at any cost. They can be very possessive and jealous, and they may try to control their partner’s behaviour in order to get the attention they crave.
If you’re in a relationship with an attention-seeker, you may find yourself feeling exhausted by their constant demands. You may always feel like you’re always the one trying to get them to focus on you, it can lead to feelings of neglect and resentment. It’s important to have a balance in a relationship where both partners feel seen and heard.
However, it’s important to remember that everyone has a need for attention to some extent, and it’s also okay within rational limits. If you feel like your partner’s attention-seeking behaviour is out of control, or if it’s causing problems in your relationship, then you have come to the right place.
Here, we present you with 5 key ways to cope and deal with an attention-seeking partner:
How to cope with an attention-seeking partner in 5 steps:
1) Have an honest conversation:
If you’re in a relationship with someone who is always seeking attention, it can be difficult to feel like you’re getting the love and attention you deserve. However, being honest and openly discussing your feelings with your partner is a good first step. A common misconception is that by expressing your feelings you may be put in a vulnerable position.
Try to avoid these negative thoughts; the only way for your partner to truly understand the impact their behaviour is having on you is by being direct and opening up to them. Sometimes you have to put yourself in uncomfortable or vulnerable situations to gain a favoured outcome. They may truly be unaware of how their behaviour is affecting you, and an honest conversation will help them to understand your perspective.
Once they realise how their actions are making you feel, they may be more willing to change their behaviour. With a little effort and understanding from both sides, you can eventually overcome this challenge in your relationship and your honesty and vulnerability will be worth it in the end.
2) Try to understand what’s driving their behaviour:
In order to tackle any hurdle, it’s important to identify the root cause of the behaviour. Research has shown that attention-seeking from others is often a sign of low self-esteem and a cry for help. If your partner is constantly needing reassurance and validation, it’s important to figure out what is driving their behaviour.
Are they feeling insecure or unworthy? Are they compensating for something that is lacking in their life? Once you understand what is driving their behaviour, you can begin to help them cope with their feelings. Maybe they need more affection and attention from you. Or maybe they need help working on their own self-esteem.
Either way, it’s important to be supportive and understanding. With a little help, your partner can learn to cope with their feelings in a healthy way. Ultimately, the key is to try to understand your partner’s needs and find a way to help them in a way that works for both of you.
3) Set some boundaries:
It can be difficult to deal with an attention-seeking partner. They may constantly demand your time and energy, or try to control every aspect of your relationship. It can be tempting to give in to their demands, but this will only reinforce their behaviour. Instead, it is important to set boundaries and to expect your partner to respect them.
One way to do this is to make it clear that you are not going to tolerate any type of disrespectful behaviour. This might mean setting a rule that you will not tolerate being shouted at, or that you will not tolerate any kind of name-calling or cheating of any kind. If your partner knows that there are consequences for crossing these boundaries, they may be more likely to respect them.
Furthermore, setting boundaries will also allow your partner to understand that you’re a human being and not always available to perform on-demand like a robot. If you’re feeling neglected, it’s important to communicate this to your partner in a calm and assertive way.
Finally, remember that you have a right to your own opinion and feelings. If your partner is constantly trying to control or manipulate you, it’s important to stand up for yourself. By setting boundaries and communicating assertively, you can help create a more balanced and healthy relationship.
4) Create some space for yourself:
It can be draining having a partner who is always seeking attention. You may feel like you are constantly having to put their needs before your own, which can lead to resentment. One way to cope with this situation is to create some space for yourself. Check this article out later on how much space is normal in a relationship.
This means taking some time out to focus on your own goals and needs. It can be as simple as going for a walk by yourself or spending some time reading or doing yoga. This will help to recharge your batteries and give you more energy and help you to be more patient in dealing with your partner’s attention-seeking behaviour.
Creating some space for yourself will also allow you to better assess your own needs and what you want from the relationship. It can also help you to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, rather than getting caught up in any negative patterns. Sometimes, when you are in the same space as your partner constantly, it can lead to feelings of suffocation and no room for your own mind and thoughts leading to a revolving vicious cycle.
By creating space for yourself you have the ability to give your mind some mental space and focus on your own ambitions. This will help you maintain a sense of identity, even within your relationship. Having more energy for your partner can be as simple as taking care of yourself first. It could make all the difference. Give it a shot!
5) Give them positive reinforcement:
No one wants to feel like they’re being ignored, especially by their partner. If you’re in a relationship with someone who is always seeking attention, it can be difficult to know how to best cope with the situation. You may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, or like you can never do anything right.
However, there are some things you can do to help ease the tension and improve communication. First, be prepared to give your partner the occasional burst of attention they crave. Keyword: occasional.
This doesn’t mean you have to constantly be at their beck and call, but acknowledging them every once in a while, will go a long way. Second, try to give positive rewards when they do listen to you and respect your boundaries. This could be something as simple as a compliment or a hug. This will show them that you appreciate their efforts and that you are willing to work together.
A little praise can go a long way towards helping an attention-seeking partner feel valued and appreciated. Finally, always make sure you’re both respecting each other’s needs and boundaries. If you can find a way to compromise, it will help reduce the stress of the situation and make for a much more harmonious and balanced relationship that meets both of your needs.
The bottom line:
Finally, as you’re probably already aware if you’re in a relationship with someone who loves the spotlight, it can be challenging to adjust. However, there are certain things to remember that form the foundations of any relationship.
Know your value. Do not forget you are special and it’s important to stay true to yourself. Don’t try to change who you are just to please your partner and remember to attention-seeking behaviour can lead to worse things like cheating or entertaining others while in a relationship.
After all, relationships should be about accepting each other’s quirks and celebrating what makes each person unique and not one person doing it all to make things work. Hopefully, by following the proven key tips above, you can learn to cope with your attention-seeking partner without sacrificing your own needs and wants. Good Luck!