It’s pretty common to hear guys talk bad about their exes. In fact, it’s almost become a rite of passage; the first step in moving on from a failed relationship. But why do guys do this? Is it simply to make themselves feel better? Or is there more to it?
There are a few reasons why guys might talk bad about their exes. And, in today’s article, we’ll be going through a few characteristics and personality traits that this specific type of man often displays.
7 Characteristics of men who speak badly about their exes:
1- He must be arrogant and selfish:
Talking about an ex is okay. If the person is simply telling you the story of what happened, and how things unfolded between them and their ex then that’s fine. It can be a way of venting frustration and anger. After all, breakups are rarely easy, and it can take a long time to get over someone you once cared for deeply.
However, talking bad about an ex, in a bad and negative way, can also be a way of trying to make yourself look better by contrast. If a man has been hurt or rejected by an ex, it can be tempting to put them down in order to feel better about himself.
A man that is making their ex look very bad and horrible on purpose is probably also trying to continuously give himself credit. While he’s portraying his ex as a psycho or a hot mess, he must be, portraying himself as a hero or a god for dealing with it all the right way.
If this is what he’s doing then you have to be able to read between the lines and see that this guy could be arrogant and selfish. He would throw anyone under the bus, including someone he cared about deeply until recently, just to make himself look good.
2- He’s the revengeful type:
Whenever a guy you’re seeing starts talking about his ex, maybe you find yourself rolling your eyes and waiting for him to cut the story short.
In this case, most men pick up on your body language cues and change the topic swiftly. But, if you’re dealing with a guy that just cannot help himself but complain about how toxic his ex was all the time, then be careful. If he trashes her all the time, then it’s clear that he’s still holding a grudge. It’s like he’s trying to get revenge by trashing her character every chance he gets.
This type of revengeful person could harm their ex badly if they got the chance. The poor girl probably blocked him on all social media platforms and maybe even changed her address. Keep in mind that you didn’t hear her side of the story and all you know is how obsessed the guy in front of your eyes looks.
If you’ve tried to tell him that he needs to let go, but it seems like he can’t then you need to run away and stay steer from someone who’s looking for anyone to take their anger and hatred out on. Even if you think he’s harmless, if he’s still hung up on what happened between them, then it’s surely preventing him from moving on.
All you can do is hope that one day he’ll be able to let go and move on with his life. Otherwise, he’s going to end up being a lonely, bitter old man.
3- He likes to play the victim’s role:
If a man always talks badly about his ex then it could also be because he likes to play the victim and make her seem like the crazy one. Whenever he starts complaining about her, it’s like he’s looking for compassion and validation. And he’s always fishing for compliments, trying to make himself look good by comparison.
Even if this was true and if we got it all right then it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a bad guy, but it does mean that he definitely has some issues. If you dig further maybe you’ll realize that his ex isn’t the only one he talks badly about. If he’s the type who’s ready to quickly tell a story about how a specific person or the other wronged him badly, then he’s definitely someone with a victim mentality.
Keep in mind that this type of person can be very toxic and negative. The simple act of spending a lot of time with someone who’s always playing the victim can be draining and put you in a miserable headspace.
4- He is probably a liar too:
It always sounds crazy when a man talks bad about his ex, especially if you didn’t hear the other person’s side of the story. If it sounds so unbelievable then it could be because it’s insanely exaggerated. Maybe, he’s lying and making things up to make himself look good.
He’s probably just trying to make you feel sorry for him or trying to impress you in some type of way. Men lie for all types of reasons, even when it looks like the lie is silly, unnecessary, and doesn’t even benefit them. Let alone if it’s going to be about their ex which could serve many purposes.
If you catch him contradicting himself or figured out for sure somehow that he told you a lie when mentioning his ex, then it is a red flag. Regardless of what his purpose behind the lie was it’s not a good sign to talk so horribly about a former partner. If he can’t speak kindly about his past relationships, what does that say about his character? It’s best to steer clear of someone like that.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that speaking ill of another person says more about you than it does about them. If you can’t respect your former partner, then maybe you will not be able to respect your future partner either.
5- He still didn’t move on:
In addition to all the traits listed above, when a guy talks badly about his ex, it’s also a pretty clear sign that he hasn’t moved on yet. He’s still dwelling on the past and he’s still upset about whatever happened between them.
This is definitely not a good sign if you’re interested in starting a relationship with him. It means he’s not over his ex yet, and he’s probably not ready to start something new. He might try to play it off like he’s over her, but the reality is he’s still hung up on what happened between them. Although that’s not necessarily a bad thing; it does mean that he needs more time to deal with the breakup and come to terms with being single again.
In the meantime, though, he’s probably not ready to date anyone new. So if you’re thinking about getting involved with him, you might want to think twice. After all, you don’t want to be his rebound girl.
So, if you’re looking for someone who is emotionally available and ready to move on, you should definitely steer clear of any guy who is bad-mouthing his ex.
6- He will bad-mouth you too when your turn comes:
Speaking badly about an ex is always a sign of questionable character. For one thing, it shows that he’s not reliable. But more importantly, it demonstrates that he’s not a mature, confident person who is secure in himself.
If he’s willing to speak badly about someone he once cared for, he’ll have no problem doing the same to you. So beware of the guy who talks trash about his ex; he’s likely to do the same to you behind your back.
He may like you now but maybe not enough not to talk trash about you and ridicule you to his male friends. Maybe he’s already trying to make you look desperate and make himself look like a player, when he mentions you to his guys. Who knows, he may already have said a couple negative things about you to them. And even if he still didn’t, then you know for a fact he will tell the next girl after you once he’s done with you, for good.
7- He is a walking red flag:
In the end, there are a few things that are instant turn-offs, and one of them is a guy who talks badly about his ex. Whether he’s trashing her looks, intelligence, or personality, it’s a major red flag. A guy who talks bad about his ex is usually someone who is negative and always has something negative to say. This type of person is usually stuck in the past and can’t move on.
After all, if he can’t be civil to his ex, what’s to stop him from talking not just about you, but also about your friends or even parents; in the same way? Keep in mind that this is someone he once shared a bed with and claimed to love, still he’s doing this now. So what makes you think he won’t do more to people he cares less about.
This kind of behavior indicates that he’s not a very trusting or reliable person, even if you select him to be your partner. So if you’re looking for someone who you can trust, steer clear of guys who talk bad about their exes. They’re just not worth your time.
In the end, you can check this article out too for a few reasons why someone may be feeling connected to their ex still, or unable to let go.