If you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of dealing with someone who takes things personally, then you know how frustrating it can be.
Whether it’s a co-worker, friend, or family member, if you have someone in your life who seems to take everything personally, it can be tough to know how to deal with them.
On the one hand, you don’t want to hurt their feelings; on the other hand, you also don’t want to walk on eggshells all the time. If you find yourself in a similar situation, you might want to check the few tips below:
How to deal with someone who takes things personally in 5 steps:
1- Avoid sensitive topics:
Try to avoid sensitive topics. If you know that there are certain topics that are likely to set that sensitive person off, try to avoid them. It’s not always possible, but if you can steer clear of hot-button issues, it will be easier for both of you.
If you bring up a topic that you know is likely to trigger them, it’ll just escalate the situation. It will be like you’re begging for conflict. Instead, try to stick to neutral topics or ones that they’re comfortable with.
If you can’t avoid sensitive topics altogether, at least try to approach them in a way that’s respectful and isn’t likely to cause offense. Hopefully, by doing this, you’ll be able to avoid any unnecessary drama.
2- Don’t take their reaction personally:
Another thing you can do is not to take their reactions personally. It’s important to remember that when someone is over-reacting, it’s usually more about them than it is about you.
Their reaction says more about their own emotional state and deepest fears than it does about you or the situation. So avoid getting defensive yourself. This will only escalate the situation and make the other person feel more justified in their reaction.
It’s their fault that they’re overly sensitive and prone to getting their feelings hurt. It’s not your job to walk on eggshells around them or tiptoe around their feelings. Just be yourself and don’t let their reactions dictate how you behave.
If they get upset, that’s on them, not on you. Plus, you know that it’s their personality by now, so don’t take it personally and don’t sweat it: just carry on as normal. They’ll either learn to deal with it or they’ll eventually realize that they’re the ones with the problem, not you. Either way, it’s not your issue to worry about and you’re clearly not being targeted.
3- Use humor more if you trigger them:
If you provoke a sensitive person and cause them to take something you said or did personally, then you can try to defuse the situation. If things do start to escalate, see if you can defuse the situation with humor or by changing the subject. Sometimes diffusing the tension is all you can do until the person has a chance to calm down.
You can dodge the bullet by using humor more often, especially if you know that what you’re saying isn’t meant to be hurtful. If you can make jokes and get them to laugh, they’ll be less likely to take what you say so seriously. They’ll understand that you’re not that serious of a person and like to play around.
So keep in mind that If you can steer the conversation towards safer grounds, they’ll be less likely to get upset. Many people use humor as a shelter from difficult conversations or as an escape route to ease their way out of an offensive topic. Make sure though that your jokes are not targetting a weakness of theirs and aren’t discriminatory or offensive too, in some type of way.
4- Try to see things from their perspective:
If you’re dealing with someone who takes things too personally, another thing you can do is try to see things from their perspective. It’s likely that they’re extremely sensitive because they have an insecurity or weakness.
They may not mean to take things so personally all the time, but might have been bullied or targeted in the past which is making them more luckily keep their guard up. So try to be understanding and patient with them, and explain things gently. Also, try to avoid saying anything that could be interpreted as a personal attack altogether, in the first place.
If you can keep calm and try to see things from their perspective, you should be able to get through to them without too much trouble. It’s possible that they’re just feeling insecure or threatened, and understanding their feelings can help you to respond in a way that is more constructive.
5- Talk directly and clearly with them to leave no room for misinterpretation:
Another tactic you can use when dealing with a person that takes everything personally is to avoid getting into arguments with them; try and keep the conversation light and positive. It’s also important to be direct when communicating with them.
Be clear about your intentions and make sure they understand that you’re not trying to attack them. If you can find a way to build a rapport with this person, it will be easier to manage their reactions.
If you’re direct, honest, clear, and concise in your message, it will be less likely for the other person to misinterpret your words and take them the wrong way. But at the end of the day, you can’t control how someone else chooses to react.
All you can do is be as clear and concise as you can when communicating with them. If you avoid speaking in riddles or ways that can be misinterpreted, they will have no excuse to misunderstand your every word.
By following these tips, you can hopefully reduce the amount of conflict in your interactions with someone who takes things personally. In the end, if your partner is the person with such a personality trait, then you may want to check this article out on why your partner or husband minterprets everything you say. You may find a few answers there and be able to deal with the root cause for this.