There’s a huge misconception about asking a special someone for space. Granted, that’s because people are not always honest about their intentions. Sometimes, they say they want space when they want to break up because they want to avoid conflict.
Other times, we fear that asking for space may be perceived as a rude request or that it will imply that the person being asked is clingy or overwhelming. But, in reality, more often than not asking for space means a person needs some time alone and it’s actually quite healthy.
So how can you tell what a guy means and what category he falls under if he asks for space? Well, there are a few signs you can watch out for that will provide a bit of insight into where he truly stands on this.
How to tell if he needs space or if it’s over?
Before we dive in, let us clarify that if this analysis and signs help you to determine that things are actually over and he doesn’t just need space as he claimed, then you need to let him go.
If you determine that it’s really over for him, there’s no need to stick around or become desperate and more clingy. Unless you both want to give the relationship a final try, when you fall out of love with someone, it’s usually very difficult to fall back in. That’s one of life’s harshest truths and it’s one you have to come to terms with at one point or another.
Now that we got this disclaimer out of the way read on for signs that can help you find out his true intentions.
1. The emotional side of it:
If he seems a bit emotionally distant, it means that he needs some time on his own, which is why he asked for the break. Something about the relationship is making him feel suffocated and he needs a bit of space to breathe and process it all.
Becoming overwhelmed by something is perfectly normal. If he wants to process that on his own, it’s completely valid. However, if there’s no longer an emotional connection or he’s no longer attempting to nurture one, it means it’s over for him.
He has completely disconnected from the relationship. It has been going on behind the scenes for a while and he finally reached the point where he just doesn’t care. He stopped sharing his thoughts and emotions, and your efforts to get him to share any of them with you just annoy you.
2. The factor of physical space:
If he starts spending a little less time with you and a little more time alone, it means that he truly asked for a break because he needed space. You’ve been together 24/7 and you’ve become so conjoined that he feels like he has lost himself a little. He just wants to dial it back a little and focus on himself. Heck, you might want the same thing.
If he actively avoids being with you at all, it could mean that it’s over for him. When someone wants space, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they no longer want to see you or talk to you anymore. Sometimes it just means that they need to create some balance. So, if he never wants to see you anymore, it’s likely that “asking for a break” was his way of ending things.
3. The quality of communication:
If you’ve been having trouble communicating properly and it leads to too much arguing, he could be frustrated enough to ask for a break. Maybe that’s what you both need, to spend a little time apart to reset and gain some perspective before you start working on your communication issues.
However, if he rarely engages in communication and doesn’t participate in your arguments at all, it could mean that it’s over. He has stopped communicating entirely and he simply doesn’t care about discussing anything anymore, whether positive or negative.
What this means is that he’s done and he considers it a waste of breath to communicate with you in any productive way.
4. The presence of feelings:
Last but not least, someone who asks for a break doesn’t love you any less. There are many reasons behind needing some time and space apart from your significant other. None of them change the fact that you still have feelings for them; that won’t just go away because you need a break.
So, if he asked for a break and he’s taken some distance but he still shows you that he loves you, you have nothing to worry about. The dynamic of the relationship might change a bit, but he still nurtures an emotional connection and expresses his love.
If he doesn’t, it could mean he asked for a break because he fell out of love. Whatever time you spend together feels empty, he never tells you he loves you nor does he shows it through his actions. Plus, maybe he rarely even wants to know how you’re doing or what you’ve been up to while you’re apart, etc. These are all the signs of someone who is completely detached.
Conclusion:
When there’s a dissonance between what a man says and what he does, pay a lot more attention to his behavior because that’s what really matters. In the end, there is a healthy way that a couple could take a break from the relationship and come back stronger. So perhaps this is the case here.
The bottom line is that if he said he needed a break but he’s acting like you’re no longer together in any capacity, it means it’s over. All you have to do is observe and analyze his actions and most importantly trust your gut feeling.