It’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another: “He is perfect but I don’t love him: why is that?”. He might even be everything you’ve ever wanted in a partner: kind, handsome, successful, and funny. So why is your heart still searching for something more?
If he’s really everything that you thought you wanted in a partner. He’s handsome and successful, and he treats you well. Why can’t you seem to connect on a deeper level? In today’s article, we will list all the reasons that could be behind such an unfortunate thing!
Why can’t you love him even do he is good “on paper”:
1- He is not as perfect as you make him out to be:
The truth is, no one is perfect. Even the so-called perfect guy has his flaws that your unconscious picked up on before the conscious side of your brain. Or at least, they might not be imperfections but just things that don’t sit well with you.
It’s those little flaws that make people human and relatable, so he can’t be as perfect as you claim he is. You just don’t want to face the fact that he has these little flaws because maybe you don’t seem them important or never did before but now obviously you can see that they matter and you just cannot admit it yet.
In the end, what your heart wants might not even be someone who is flawless; it might just want someone who is perfect for you and deep down you know that this guy isn’t, or at least he isn’t good enough for your love.
You might pretend he is perfect but you know very well that you don’t like him much. In this case, you can check this article out later on whether or not you can ever love someone but not really like them.
2- He is not your perfect match:
Let’s face it even though this guy is “good on paper” or “in theory” there’s just no connection, chemistry, love in the air, that “je ne sais quoi” or whatever you want to call. It’s lacking, it’s not there and when you’re in his presence you don’t feel any butterflies in your stomach.
If you’re wondering why you don’t love this supposedly perfect guy, it’s because he’s simply not your perfect match. There’s someone out there who is just right for you, flaws and all. Keep searching if you don’t feel about this, and you might find the love you’re looking for.
But all we can confirm is that when it comes to this specific not-so-perfect “perfect” guy; maybe he’s just not compatible with you. Maybe he’s only good in theory but not in real life. Or maybe he’s simply not your cup of tea, and you don’t want to see it because you feel you could regret it later, given the fact that again he is so “perfect”.
Whatever the reason, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. Just because he’s perfect “on paper” doesn’t mean he’s perfect for you. So don’t force yourself to love him just because he seems like the logical choice. Follow your heart and go with your gut; chances are, they’ll lead you to the right person in the end.
3- The standards you relied on to say he’s perfect are not yours:
Simply put: maybe when you assessed this guy and decided that he’s perfect you considered criteria that are not yours. Maybe you considered standards based on society, external factors, or other peoples’ expectations.
If you were to actually consider what your heart really wants and what makes you weak in your knees, then you might suddenly not find him to be so perfect anymore. Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we just don’t click with someone that we only want or wish to be compatible with because we’re supposed to.
It’s important to remember that you don’t have to be a hopeless romantic to at least want some degree of attraction, a spark, and chemistry with the person you consider dating. Everyone has their own flaws and quirks that make them unique, but the right person in your eyes will look flawless to you despite having flaws that you can see and acknowledge.
So if someone looks like they have no flaws at all and they still don’t seem to make you blush, then you should consider what could happen if you later discovered a major flaw of theirs. The most important thing is to find someone who you will accept for who they are and not someone perfect.
However, if all you want is a little push and a word of encouragement to carry on with that seemingly perfect person anyway then note that with time and effort, you may find that you begin to like him after all.
4- You’re still hung up on someone else:
Maybe the biggest reason you can’t consider anyone right now is that you’re still hung up on an ex. If it’s been a while since you broke up with someone, but you just can’t seem to get them out of your head then this could be the culprit.
If every time you try to move on, something reminds me of a specific ex and you find yourself comparing your current partner to him, then clearly we have a problem at hand here. It’s not fair to either one of these people, and you should get a hold of yourself and take the time to heal from the breakup before you consider anything new.
In this case, until you can get over your ex, you’ll probably never be able to fully love anyone else.