So, you’ve been a little bit clingy lately… and now you’re not sure how to make things right. Well, first off, it’s important to take some time to reflect on why you might have been acting that way.
Was there something going on in your life that made you feel insecure or needy? Or were you just trying to express your feelings in a way that might not have been the best choice? Once you’ve taken some time to think about it, it’s time to take action by following the steps listed below.
5 steps to apologize for being clingy:
1. Don’t be vague in your apology:
Simply saying that you are sorry won’t take you that far, if you do indeed hope to be forgiven by your partner. Your partner needs to feel that you are not apologizing because you want to move on and make things go back as they were, but because you know what you’ve done that hindered your relationship and you regret doing it.
For that, you will need to acknowledge that the way you acted was wrong even though you never intended to suffocate your partner, you probably did. If your partner is willing, let them pose questions to understand why you acted the way you acted and try to answer all of them honestly.
2. Don’t blame your partner to justify your behavior:
When we need to apologize for something we did, it’s normal to still feel like we need to defend ourselves, even though no one is attacking us. Making a mistake can make you feel embarrassed at times and because that’s a terrible feeling, you may try to justify your actions to help you restore your dignity.
However, it’s important to have in mind, that when it comes to apologizing, dignity should be set aside if you want to be successful. You were too clingy and in your mind, you may not understand why your partner feels so wronged, but what matters most at that moment is to make your partner feel heard. If they haven’t asked you yet why you acted so clingy, refrain from attacking them by saying that you only acted that way because of something they did.
Your partner needs to understand why you acted clingily, but it’s more important to apologize first. You can expect them to ask why you acted that way, but even if they didn’t let them know that it’s important for you that they know what were your reasons.
However, it’s also important that you reassure them, that whatever the reason is, it has nothing to do with them, but everything to do with you, and that’s something that you have to fix yourself.
3. Make sure that you show an effort in improving in the future:
Having mentioned the point above, your next step must be reassuring your partner that you will make a big effort in controlling your clingy nature in the future. Having this happen for the first time and apologizing for it is one thing, but having to keep apologizing for the same thing because you didn’t improve your behavior is another thing.
Normally, your partner will trust you more once they see actual results, but before the opportunity arises, what you can do is choose your words wisely. Don’t refrain from telling your partner exactly how you intend to be less clingy and how you plan to avoid it in the most difficult situations. This will give your partner something to work with and a way to monitor your progress.
In fact, one of the best way to apologize for being clingy, in the end, is to start by acknowledging what you did. From there, express your sincere regret and let your partner know that you’re committed to changing your behavior. So go ahead and ask for forgiveness and promise to do better in the future. A genuine apology can go a long way towards repairing a damaged relationship.
4. Don’t forget to reassure your partner that you still love them:
Your partner won’t immediately think that your intentions were bad and that you wanted to hurt them all along. No, they know that you probably did it unintentionally, but they will still feel hurt.
That’s why it will be better to hear it from your mouth, so they can feel reassured. When you are apologizing for your bad behavior it’s always a good idea to reiterate the fact that you never intended to harm them or the relationship.
Tell them what your intentions are: maybe you just wanted more attention or reassurance, or maybe you were feeling lonely. What matters is to tell them that you still love them like before, if not even more.
5. Don’t just say things they want to hear, say things that come from a genuine place:
Think of it this way, if when someone apologizes to you, you can easily spot whether they are being genuine or not, so will your partner. It’s normal that you want to apologize to save your relationship and make it stronger, but your motives shouldn’t be only that.
If you still don’t believe that you did something wrong, don’t apologize yet. This means that you are probably still mad about the situation and might say something you regret and make matters worse.
After taking time to reflect on what you did and what your partner said in their complaint, you can start to form an idea of what you should apologize for. When you sit with your partner and genuinely apologize for the harm you caused to them and your relationship, you should show genuine regret that they will be able to see it.
And since they will be able to sense your remorse, they will be more inclined to forgive you and be willing to move on with the relationship, provided that you follow the steps above as well. In the end, you can check this article too on how to stop being clingy with your friends, hopefully, you can apply it to all the relationships in your life and stop being clingy with anyone ever!