This article will be a guide to help you figure out how to ask a friend out without ruining your friendship.
Steps to ask a friend on a date, without ruining your friendship:
1- Don’t rush into things:
There are many ways in which you can ask your friend out and still maintain the friendship. All you have to do is take your time, think about it and make sure that it is what you want.
So before you get carried away by sudden urges, make sure that you’d rather date that friend and turn the friendship into a romantic relationship. And, be willing to take that risk before you do anything, in brief, make sure you are not rushing into anything.
2- Be Clear about your intentions:
Second, it is important, to be honest with your friend about what you are looking for. It may take some time, but if they know what you expect ahead of time, then they will be more likely to support your decision if it matches their own expectations too.
3- Don’t be too pushy or aggressive:
Third, it is important not to be too pushy or aggressive when asking them out. Remember that the goal is not just a date, it is a healthy relationship and lifelong romantic friendship as well, like all couples should have!
4- Don’t invite a third person to your date!
If you thought about asking them on a date with someone else because you thought it is better if it is not just one-on-one between the two of you… then forget about it!
It is always better not to do this, especially not for the first date and especially if you two are already close friends and comfortable with one another. Plus there has never been a good first date that had more than two people! Ever!
5- Understand that they can say “no”:
It is not always easy to ask a friend out. You might be afraid that they will say no, or that it will ruin your friendship.
But there are some things you can do to make it easier for them to say “yes” and still remain friends. So keep reading!
6- Ask them in person and explain why you think it will work:
It sounds simple and obvious, but asking someone out over text or social media can make it seem like you’re just looking for a hookup. In order to avoid the awkwardness of rejection, ask them in person and let them know why you think you two could work out in that way.
This way if they reject you it will only seem like it’s because they disagree with you on why you thought you two could be a match.
And, disagreeing with someone is fine and a better thing than rejection. Plus explaining why you thought you two could work will already give you the upper hand as it shows you thought about it properly and that you’re really interested. Rather than making it look like a quick impulse you developed five minutes ago while walking to them.
Also sending someone else to do the job for you or to ask them out for you is so not worth it. it just makes you look like a coward and it makes things too messy and dramatic. That’s because most times the person you sent doesn’t do the job properly or makes a mistake that can ruin all your chances forever.
7- Make sure they are single:
This one might sound obvious, but you would be surprised how many people don’t take this into account. If they are in a relationship, it is probably not the best time to ask them out on a date.
Even if you think their current relationship is toxic or not good enough, it is not your call to decide whether they should break up or not with their partner.
The best thing to do in this case is to support them and wait wisely. However, once they become single again then you can try your luck before someone else shows up again and snatch them from you.
8- Don’t drop hints:
It is always important to be clear and upfront about your intentions. It is better to ask for a date than to hint at it.
It is always better to be upfront with someone and ask them out on a date rather than hinting at it or waiting for them to make the first move, as this can lead to confusion, frustration, and even rejection.
You should be clear about what you want from the other person and let them know that you are interested in them. This will help the other person take steps toward you. That’s because they will see that you know what you want and you’re confident about it. Nobody wants to be with someone that can’t even decide what they want.
Being a go-getter is a very attractive quality and this is your chance to show that you are.
9- Go back to being your old self with them, if they say “no”:
This is key to conserving the friendship you once had. If your friend says “no” to dating you or going out with you, then you should quickly switch back to your old friend role. It may be difficult for you to do but try and make efforts in this sense, rather than displaying sadness or disappointment as they might become too sorry or embarrassed to even stay near someone they hurt so much… which is understandable.
If needed make it even clear that you will not ask them out ever again and that you just did because “you thought there may be some potential there”. However, don’t say more nor explain much as it will look scary and like you’re insisting.
The point is to just clarify that you won’t ask anymore and you can even mention that you two can still look together for a suitable match for you. Especially since you already made it clear that you’re available and ready to start dating.
This way they can quickly feel like they can trust you as a friend again and you two can do some bonding over keeping an eye out for you and finding a suitable person for you to date.