It’s hard to build a good father-daughter relationship, especially after the mother dies. The death of a mother leaves a big hole in a daughter’s life, and it can be hard for a father to fill that void. A lot of times, fathers try to compensate for the loss of their wives. They may do this by being overprotective or by being overbearing and too suffocating, in an attempt to force closeness with their newly orphaned kids.

This can put a strain on the relationship between father and daughter. It’s important for fathers to remember that their daughters need time to grieve and that they shouldn’t try to replace their mothers, so soon after. Instead, they should focus on being supportive and understanding.

With time, most fathers are able to develop stronger relationships with their kids, especially with the steps listed below.

How to strengthen a father-daughter relationship after the death of the mother?

1. Create a strong bond from the beginning:

Yes, it’s never too late to create a good father-daughter relationship but the best thing you can do to improve your chances is to start from the very beginning. Right from your child’s birth, you should be present, supportive, and loving.

This way, your daughter will grow to learn that you are a big and important part of her life and that you are a valued and irreplaceable role model. By doing this alone, your daughter will see you as one of the closest people to her heart.

You don’t have to think too much about what your role as a present parent entails. All you need to do to help your daughter be predisposed to seeing you as an irreplaceable piece of her life is to simply be there for her and show her love as she grows older and older. Contribute along with your partner to feeding her and playing with her, for example.

You will create a relationship that is organic and full of love. It should all come smoothly and not be forced. In the first years of their lives, children see their parents as extensions of themselves. Newborns and babies see their parents as the first people to turn to when they are scared or they need affection, so being present will improve your odds of her seeing you that way.

2. Make sure you teach her the things you know best:

Another great way to form a strong bond with your daughter is by being a mentor to her. It doesn’t need to sound as complicated as it does. You simply need to create opportunities so you can teach your daughter some basic things that she can always be proud to say that you were the one who taught her. These could be playing sports if you are passionate about one, or it could be doing outdoor adventures like hiking, camping or simply riding a bike.

What matters is that you teach her to do things you know best. You will be guaranteeing that she receives good knowledge about certain things and she will start looking up to you when she needs to know more about other aspects of life.

Another advantage of this is that you will be creating good memories for her to contemplate and think about when she misses you. She will have those moments to look back to whenever she wants, with a smile on her face. She will also keep them as happy moments to console herself with, when she feels sad or nostalgic.

3. Be there when she needs to talk:

Things can get trickier when children get older. Their needs change and often tend to be more complicated and complex which is part of turning into an adult, but that doesn’t mean that it can be harder for you to create strong bonds with your daughter. It just gives you new opportunities to do so.

If your daughter is getting into adolescence or is already a teenager she probably is experiencing new emotions because of the new relationships she has whether it’s with friends, family members, teachers, or even a romantic partner. Because these emotions are new to her it’s normal that she won’t exactly know how to best deal with them, but that’s when you can help. You can simply help by listening to her and being present.

If you notice that she is brooding on something you can offer her the chance to open up to you and try to listen without judging her. If she wants or asks you can give her a good piece of advice and guide her but without imposing your opinion on her. If you two have a good relationship she will already be more inclined to get influenced by you.

Also, if she’s passionate and happy about something new, you can be there to share her new enthusiasm and encourage her to pursue that passion.

4. You need to have fun together:

Of course, it’s important for your daughter to feel integrated into your life. She needs to feel comfortable around you and so to create a good relationship between you two you need to spend time alone with her.

For example, you can go out with her to her favorite restaurant or simply plan a short trip so you can create memories at least once a month. She will start seeing you not only as a parent figure but also as a close friend that she can rely on, which is much needed in her transition to adulthood.

5. Be sure that you always know what goes on in her life:

It’s normal for kids especially when they start growing up to be able to hide things from their parents and feel that they have privacy and independence to a certain degree. But that shouldn’t be an excuse for you not to want to know what goes on in your daughter’s life.

You don’t need to be intrusive but from time to time you should ask her how her studies are going, how her friendships are developing, and show interest in her hobbies.

Make it a pleasant conversation where she can feel comfortable sharing things with you and if it helps, you can also share things about your life. If you face a problem or conflict with your daughter, it’s also important to tackle it before it affects the relationship or turns it toxic. This way, you will know exactly what’s going on in your daughter’s life without having the need to pry.