Just because someone needs reassurance about themselves or about the relationship they are in, it doesn’t mean they aren’t worth having in your life.
It only means that you have a journey ahead of you where you will have to learn to trust each other’s actions and words so your relationship can thrive. Many people find it hard dating someone who needs constant reassurance, but there are things you can do to help your partner overcome their insecurities.
The right way to date someone who needs constant reassurance:
1. Be there for your partner:
If you are dating someone who needs constant reassurance the thing they will value the most is how much you prioritize your time together. Because your partner is prone to insecurities, they need to see you more often than if you were in a typical couple.
Another thing that might help is setting up a routine for when you see each other. This way, your partner will be expecting to see you on the same days of the week which will give them a bigger sense of safety because they know you won’t miss your date.
However, sometimes when your partner is constantly needing your reassurance, meeting them more regularly is not enough. You need to be more present in their life in general too.
During the time you spend together, your partner needs to feel that you are mentally present. They need to feel heard and seen more than anyone else in your life, that’s the only way they’ll feel like they’re being prioritized, cared for, and reassured.
2. If you are thinking about complimenting them, don’t hesitate:
We all like hearing genuine compliments. And, unless we are insecure by nature, getting compliments or not won’t have a big impact on us. However, for people who need constant reassurance, receiving a compliment can change everything. Sometimes, they just need a little ego boost and they will be confident about themselves for a while.
Giving each other compliments is part of being in a relationship, even though sometimes it can feel silly to be giving the same compliments over and over again. That’s why we naturally stop doing it. If you do this with an insecure person, their confidence will plummet.
So if you are tired of giving the same compliment to your partner about how much you like their hair or eyes, refocus your attention on intangible assets they have like how kind they are. Take any chance or opportunity you get to thank them for their generosity, and kindness and show appreciation whenever they do something thoughtful or considerate. This will also encourage them to treat you better.
A person that needs constant reassurance will overthink the fact that you stopped giving compliments if you do. They may even interpret it as something negative or as a loss of interest in them. So, if you want to compliment your partner, about a physical trait they have or something nice they did, do it regardless of how repetitive you think it gets.
3. Do the things that you would like your partner to do to you:
It can help you deal better with diverse situations if you’d put yourself in your partner’s shoes during difficult times. They need constant reassurance because they are afraid to lose your love and attention.
Think about it this way: what would you like your partner to do if they wronged you? Probably apologize and buy you flowers or a small symbolic gift at least. So do the same if you make a mistake. Also, make a conscious effort to keep things interesting.
You would probably appreciate it if you went on romantic dates from time to time, go to your favorite restaurants, or simply watch your favorite movie together. So don’t wait for your partner to make plans, take the initiative and take the lead to make your life together a more romantic and passionate one.
Essentially, you will not only keep your relationship healthy and full of love, but you will also reassure your partner by sharing fun times together more often. They will start to trust your intentions because they began to see an effort on your part.
4. Tell them how important they are to you:
One of the most simple ways of dealing with the insecurities of someone is giving them words of affirmation constantly. However, you will have to be genuine about these affirmations. Tell them that you love them, that you are very happy with them and you wouldn’t change your relationship for anything if that’s truly how you feel.
Their defense mechanism will tell them to not believe your words at first, but the more you say these affirmations, the more your partner will be inclined to believe you. Of course, your words have to match your actions, and if they do, you will gradually dissipate your partner’s insecurities and make them feel safer in the relationship.
5. Take small steps each time:
By dating someone who needs constant reassurance you will face more challenges than those in a normal relationship. Because of this, you need to have in mind that your relationship can only progress if your partner can overcome their insecurities, and you will probably play a big role in helping them do just that.
Before doing anything, it would be better to have a serious talk with your partner as soon as you start noticing their insecurities. Don’t try to attack them or exploit their weaknesses, instead try to show support and affection while tackling the issue.
Both of you will have to be honest when you discuss it. Your partner will have to try to explain why they feel insecure and what you could do to help them, and you will have to tell them how that makes you feel and what you are willing to do to help.
After that, both will need to make active efforts towards building a good sense of trust in the relationship and reassure each other of the love and care you feel. In the end, don’t forget that even the most confident people need reassurance when they’re in a romantic relationship. It’s just that our needs differ.